r/genderotica

As a non-binary person who also is just into transformation in general, just like everybody else I do actually find parts of it pretty hot myself just as much as you guys do, however one thing that really annoys me is the constant fact that it immediately always seems to have a abrupt ending of "and then their mind gets wiped and now they have sex forever, the end" or "and they instantly accept it with no hesitation whatsoever and the story abruptly ends"

As somebody that struggled for a while figuring out my personal gender I kind of love it when the plot goes in that direction of exploring how to figure out which gender you feel more comfortable being regardless of what your body is, and I really wish there was more media with this kind of trope in it

Like, Guys trying to bind their chests and look as normal as they can until they can change back and whatnot, or learn to accept their body sorta stuff

Is there ANYTHING like this out there???

I always say, if you have a big decision to make, rub one out first. Once you clear your brain of all that junk, the clarity you feel is immeasurable. And after an orgasm like that, I immediately get a mind that’s clearer than it’s been in weeks. The guilt and shame come soon after. Honestly, having it back is a bit more comforting than usual. No, not comforting, not exactly. There really isn’t anything comfortable about this, except it means I’m not lost. Not entirely at least.
 
I don’t feel guilt or shame for touching myself the way I did, for penetrating myself. I don’t even feel guilty for wanting something more in there. It’s a natural, physical need of this body I have. I don’t even fully feel guilty for wanting that more to be a dick. Again, physically, it makes sense. They’re designed to fit perfectly and to elicit the most pleasure possible. I told you my mind is clear.
 
So, no, it’s not what I wanted that’s got me so screwed up this time, it’s about who I wanted it from and how I wanted them to do it. I could chalk it up to just being in the moment, but I really feel there’s more there. I can’t think about that though. I have to get ready and go to this stupid meeting in a pool.
 
I go to my closet to pick out a swimsuit. All of my clothes were purchased by Samir. He used a shopper, but he gave the input on what he wanted, so, of course, all the swimsuits are two pieces and extremely revealing. I don’t fully blame him. He was shopping for his honeymoon, he has no way of knowing I would wear them to meet another man whom I fantasized about fucking me ruthlessly. I also grab a long halter dress, to kind of offset the swimsuit.
 
I carry them back into the bathroom and, because I’m going to be in a pool and the sun here is brutal, I begin to apply sunscreen all over my body. Not knowing that Samir secretly mixed an oil in there that Katie gave him. An oil designed to interact with the chemicals that changed me into a woman, and my own hormones, to speed up the change. The same oil that has caused me to do so many things I wouldn’t have done yet otherwise. Up to this point, the only times I’ve accidentally dosed myself was at night, my night cream was also spiked, and I only put that on my face and neck. But, I’m rubbing the sunscreen over  my entire body, giving myself more of the chemicals than I’ve ever gotten.
 
I have the driver drop me off at the coffee shop where I met Max yesterday, just a few blocks from his hotel. Even though I have no intentions of allowing myself to succumb to Max’s advances, I still don’t want there to be any way for Samir to know exactly where I’m meeting him at. I take the short walk to the hotel and go to the front desk where I text max to let him know I’m here.
 
Moments later the elevator opens and a group of twenty somethings come out, in the middle of that pack is Max. When I see him my heart flutters. I forgot how attractive he is, or maybe I didn’t fully accept that I was so attracted to him yesterday. Either way, the man is gorgeous. I smile as he approaches.
 
“Wow,” he begins, “you look stunning.”
 
He approaches me and gives me a hug. For the sake of civility, I hug him back. Damn he even smells amazing.
 
“Should we go somewhere and talk through this contract?” I ask, “where are your friends. I ask.
 
“That was them, come on we’re going to the pool.” He says. He looks me over. “Did you bring a suit?”
 
I pull my dress to the side and flash the pink floral bikini top. He smiles and takes my hand leading me to the pool.
 
We all sit at the bar talking, drinking,  and having a good time for an hour or so. I have to admit, as I look at the guys and girls in this group, I feel a little disappointed. Like I missed out by not being a female when I was their age. I know what days like this are like for the guys, I was one, but I’m having so much fun in my forties with these guys, imagine how much more fun I would have had. 
 
How I would have had them wrapped around my finger like the one girl does. How I would have gotten together with my girlfriends and decided, before we each got here, who got which boy. How I would have known when I started getting ready whether I was really going to be willing to fuck them or not. And how I would have enjoyed being just slutty enough to really enjoy the girls' trip to paradise.
 
“So Max says you found a way to save us millions on this deal.” One of his friends says his Boston accent is very thick, probably why the one girl is all over him.
 
“I think it will be millions, in the long run. Basically, it will be a way for you to retain a lot of your rights and potentially increase your profit share. And all by changing one sentence.” I reply.
 
“Wow, you must be really smart.” He replies.
 
“Just good at what I do.” I say.
 
“Can’t wait to hear all about it.” His other friend says, handing me a shot. His eyes scanning my barely covered chest.
 
“If you guys want to step over to the tables we can go over it really quick.” I say then take the shot with him.
 
Max’s arm goes over my shoulder.
 
“All in due time babe, right now we’re celebrating.” Max says.
 
“Celebrating what?” I ask.
 
“You.” His friend with the thick accent says.
 
“And your amazing tits.” Max whispers in my ear. I slap his chest. “What? You can’t wear a suit like that and not want me to see them.”
 
“It’s just a swimsuit Max.” I say with a sly grin. Then lean up and whisper in his ear, “Or maybe I wanted everyone but you to look.”
 
“Well, they’re looking, we all are.” He whispers back.
 
Something about his tone and feeling his breath on my neck sends chills down my back. He moves his hand from my shoulder down to the small of my back and leaves it there. I should pull away, I should push his hand away, but I don’t. I’m loving this feeling, I’m loving being “one of the girls.”
 
We even all go to the bathroom together and talk about the drinks, and complimenting each others suits, and of course,  the boys. I feel like I’m in a dream, or a movie. I don’t feel like I missed out on that twenties vibe, I’m living it. When we come back out the guys are standing by the pool with their towels around their waists.
 
“Hey girls, if you want to wait for us in the bar, we need to go upstairs and talk with Jackie.” One of the guys says.
 
“Upstairs?” I ask Max after the guys lead the girls to the bar area.
 
“They wanted to be somewhere more private. To be careful.” He replies.
 
He puts his hand on my lower back again and leads me to the elevator. The ride up is fairly awkward and quiet compared to the morning we’ve had in the pool. When we get to the room it looks exactly like I expected. Open suitcases, pizza boxes stacked on a counter next to empty beer cans, and an ungodly amount of clothes on the floor.
 
“If you guys will excuse me, I don’t think doing business in a bikini is appropriate.” I say.
 
“Oh yeah, the bathroom is right there.”
 
I walk in the bathroom, which isn’t much cleaner then the rest of the room, and close and lock the door. I pull two knots loose, one behind my neck and one in my hip, and my bathing suit is off my body and on the counter. I open my bag and immediately realize I forgot to pack panties. Fuck, well this dress is flowy enough no one will notice.
 
I roll my suit up in a clean towel a few times to get most of the water out n it’s small enough that I can wrap it in a washcloth and fit it in my bag. I look up at myself in the mirror to fix my hair and make up but stop and step back.
 
For the first time since taking that damn pill, the person staring back at me doesn’t look like a stranger using my brain. I don’t see the woman trying to steal my life. I see … myself. For the first time my reflection looks like me. I think I’ve finally connected with my body. And all it took was fingering myself. I chuckle at the idea. I also see how the chlorine dried out my skin.
 
I take out my moisturizer and rub it all over my body, again, giving myself a large dose of the chemical that’s feminizing me without my knowledge. I hear the guys talking and think of how great this day was, how hot Max looks in his tight trunks and shirtless torso. God, I wanted to  lick his thick necks few times.
 
Okay, relax girl, you’re here on business you wanna be licking some necks you got Samir at home. I bet his neck tastes so good. But he’s not as buff as max. Okay what the fuck? How am I so horny? I was fine. I wet a washcloth with water as cold as I can get it and press it to my pussy. Fuck that’s uncomfortable but it worked. I slip my dress on and step out into the room. 
 
“Where is everyone?” I ask when I see Max sitting alone on the bed.
 
“One of the girls texted and said security says they have to each have an escort, so they went down to be the escorts.” He says.
 
“Oh should we go meet up with them down there?”
 
“No no, that won’t be necessary. They said you can explain it to me and I’ll explain it to them.” He says and pats the bed beside himself.
 
“Max what is this?”
 
“It’s you and me talking about the contract.” He says patting the bed again.
 
I sigh and walk over. I take out my phone me and open the contract and start reading through some of the finer points that lead me to my conclusion. At firs t he seems to be paying attention but that doesn’t last long.
 
“So if you go then to paragraph seven.” I explain.
 
“Mmm hmmm.” He mutters then I feel his lips on my shoulder.
 
“Max…”
 
“I’m listening. Paragraph seven.”
 
“Yes, if you go to paragraph seven you’ll see where…” I begin but there’s another kiss on my shoulder, this one higher up.
 
“Why did you stop?” He asks.
 
His hand goes to my back. He adjusts his body weight to kiss higher on my shoulder. He’s slowly moving his lips closer to my neck.
 
“Because you’re not paying attention to me.” I say.
 
“Oh I definitely am.” He says.
 
His lips make it to my neck. Instinctively I tilt my head to give him more access. His other hand is on my thigh now.
 
“I mean paying attention to my words not my body.”
 
“You were talking about how the contract states that by selling our concept we would be giving up any future revenue share. Now you’re on paragraph seventeen where it talks about also signing over IP rights.” He says not slowing down on his seductive kisses. “I can do two things at once. Keep going.”
 
I take a deep breath and continues. Fuck this feels amazing.
 
“You see, because … they put that line in there,” I pant out.”
 
“Mmm hmmm.”
 
God I’m trying so hard to maintain control. To convince myself that I can, that I can keep this meeting semi professional. Even when he pulls on the knot behind my neck, untying my dress, and letting it fall to my waist, exposing my breast, one of which he immediately grips, I keep talking.
 
“Because that’s there … it means they know that you can … leverage those rights later … for more money.” I’m able to get out.
 
Once he lays me back on the bed, however, I know I’m all but powerless. I give up on the contract and set my phone down and slide up so my head is on a pillow. He begins to pull my dress the rest of the way off.
 
“Holy fuck you’re so hot.” He says and makes me smile.
 
He leans down and starts kissing his way back up my body. My fingers slide into his hair as he does.
 
“Just have them delete paragraph seventeen. It could be worth millions of dollars later.” I pant out. “I can give you language to use.”
 
He doesn’t respond and it doesn’t matter because he’s made it back to my breast. My nipple is in his mouth. His tongue is swirling on it. And I’m lost in my own lustful desires. I reach down and pull the drawstring on his trunks, untying them.
 
He pulls back off of me, takes them off, then returns to on top of me. The whole time I watch with a smile. I could easily stop all of this, I could get up, get dressed, and leave, but I don’t want to.
 
When he returns and starts kissing me again, I reach down and wrap my fingers around his dick. Is so much bigger and so much harder than Samir’s.
 
“You like that dick baby?” He asks.
 
“Yeah.” I say back.
 
“It’s all for you sexy.”
 
Fuck why did he have to say that. I immediately groan and arch my back then start slowly stroking it. I can’t believe I’m not freaking out right now. It’s not like I’m in the fog or anything else that’s happened to cause me to do things like this. Instead, it just feels natural, and god help me, hot as fuck.
 
He starts kissing my neck and I look down between our bodies. I hee his dick in my hand, dripping precum into my bush. It’s so close, literally just need to move it a couple of inches. Line it up with my opening. He will do the rest. Then it was him that did it, not me. I wouldn’t be wanting him to fuck me, I would just not be able to resist him. That’s not gay, that’s just being swept up by the hormones.
 
There’s only one problem, I do want him to fuck me. I’m dying to feel his dick inside me. I’m dying to watch his face above me as he thrusts his cock deep inside me. I’m eager to know what expressions he would make while filling me with cum. I turn my head to the side. What the fuck is wrong with me?
 
He turns my head and presses his lips to mine. His tongue fills my mouth in a fairly aggressive manner. Samir’s kisses are gentler, more affectionate. Max’s are much harder, more lustful. One isn’t better than the other. It’s just about the moment. And right now is a weird moment.
 
The more I want him, want this, want to be manhandled and fucked like a submissive little girl, the more I hate myself. The more I hate myself, the more I want this. I try to get lost in his kiss, try to ignore the rest so he will just do as he wishes and it will be ov….
 
“Fuck!!” I gasp out, wrapping my my arms around his neck and holding him tightly as his thick middle finger pushes into and stretches out my pussy.
 
“Oh yeah, you like that don’t you?” He says as he moves his finger in and out of me
 
This doesn’t feel like when I fingered myself. His finger is so much bigger and goes so much deeper. All I can do is lay there and moan. Which only encourages him to go faster and harder. He leans down and starts licking and sucking my nipple again. I can feel him trying to fit a second finger inside.
 
I open my legs wide and he’s able to fit his two middle fingers in my now dripping wet hole. One hand grips the sheets and the other strokes his cock ferociously as he begins finger fucking me as hard as he can.
 
“That’s it baby. Make me cum. Make me cum like no one ever has.” He groans out.
 
Jesus I can only take so much. I’ve never wanted anything like I want him to cum. Maybe I’ve wanted things more than that but it’s never been so obsessive. He takes his fingers out of me and sucks on them making a sound to let me know how good it is. That’s what pushes me over the top.
 
I push him over onto his back and climb on top of him. I start by kissing his neck, then work my way down across his pec and abs, I make my way down his hairy thigh then switch to the other and make my way back up and towards the middle. Eventually I’m there, my lips mere inches from his young hairy balls.  
 
Just a few more kisses then I open my mouth and get to find out if I can be who Samir wants me to be. I close my eyes then kiss his testicle, then the base of his cock. My mind starts replaying my dream with Katie’s boyfriend. I start comparing the two as I slowly make my way up his shaft. His groans encouraging me to go further.
 
 I finally reach the head and give it a different kiss. I wrap my lips around it a bit and let the tip of my tongue touch it. Just like I like. I pull my head back and lift it up with my hand. I open my eyes and look down at this perfect hard young cock. It looks so delicious and hard and ready for me.  I take a deep breath, open my mouth, and close my eyes. Here goes nothing.
 
Suddenly, in my head I see Katie in the dream. I see her distraught, I see how much she hated me. I see the man who was my husband, how hurt he was and how he couldn’t even look at me. It’s just a dream girl, move on. But it wasn’t just a dream. It happened. I did this once before and it ruined my life. It’s why I’m here now. I’m here now, I was given a second chance, and I’m about to blow it. I quickly sit up and push my hair back.
 
“I can’t I can’t. I’m sorry I can’t do this.” I say.
 
“What?” He asks shocked. “What happened?”
 
“Nothing happened. I just can’t do this. I’m married and I know where this ends up.” I say.
 
“Yeah with great sex.”
 
“No not with great sex,” I begin, “not that I’m saying it wouldn’t … I have no doubt that if we have sex it will be mind blowing. A life altering experience for me. But that’s not where it ends. That’s just what happens next. It ends with heartbreak and devastation.”
 
I get up and grab my dress.
 
“What are you talking about?”
 
“Im married max.”
 
“I know, that doesn’t bother me.”
 
“It should and the fact that it doesn’t scares me.” I say.
 
“So what? After all of that, suddenly you feel guilty and don’t want to fuck me anymore?”
 
“No, it’s the opposite. I really want to fuck you. I want you inside me so bad I can barely think straight. But if we do then my life is ruined.” I say.
 
“He doesn’t have to know.”
 
“Hell find out. Somehow he’ll find out. They always do. Even if he doesn’t I’ll know. His is the only dick I should ever have in me. I’m sorry if I lead you on.”
 
I get my dress on and tied and my tits put away. I use a tissue to wipe my lip gloss cleaner and grab my phone.
 
“I have to go now or I never will. I’m going to delete our thread and block your number. Don’t try and contact me ever. If you do I know I’ll be back here, under you, letting you violate me and ruin my life. So while I can think clearly, good bye.”
 
With that I turn and almost run out the door to the elevator, leaving him sitting on the bed horny, hard, and confused.  

Hi,

I've been looking for a particular type of stories. In these stories, the main character gains power (e.g. through wishing, but could be anything) to transform themselves. They decide to use it, but willingly without the ability to ever turn back, effectively entrapping themselves in their fantasy.

I especially like these stories, if (slow) mental changes are involved and if the character eventually regrets their choice (e.g. if they degrade themselves, wanting to revert it once it finally hits them), but no longer able to stop it. Extra bonus points if the transformation isn't immediate, and if they plant delayed transformations on themselves ("Sometime in the next two hours I will change in X way.") or instill triggers/compulsions ("I will being to like X. Whenever I see Y I will Z.").

Examples are:
- Mandatory Milf on Fictionbranches
- Few branches by author Ice ("Sexy Girly Girl: Testing his valley girl voice") on Fictionbranches
- Wererock on Fictionmania
- Certain stories by Zedd on Fictionmania
- Changing Realities by BarkerTree (on ChangingMirror)

Thank you for any suggestions!

After Samir finishes cleaning up and taking the towel to the hamper, he returns and lays back down next to me. He pulls me close and I lay my head on his chest, and we just lay here talking until we fell asleep. I feel safe and secure and at peace, which is good because the fear shame, guilt, and regret over what I have just done don’t really set in tonight at all. I can’t remember the last time I just fell asleep so easily.
 
Now, if only my dreams were as peaceful as that moment. My brain is continuing to spend its nights forcing me to relive and reimagine my memories. Tonight is no exception; in fact it’s the worst of them all. I’m forced to relive one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made, sleeping with my daughter's best friend. Only this time it’s so much worse.
 
I’m the dream it isn’t her best friend and roommate, Alyson, whom I had just met that week. No, this time it was her boyfriend, who she’s been with for years and plans to marry. The shame and guilt are overwhelming. I want to wake up but I’m forced to watch my life fall apart over one list filled decision. As if he knew I couldn’t handle anymore of this dream, Samir comes to my rescue.
 
I wake up laying on my left side with him behind me. He’s pulled himself up to me, has his arm wrapped around me, gently scratching my belly, and gently kissing my neck and shoulder. I can feel hard dick pressed between my ass and his abdomen.
 
“Jackie, baby, it’s time to wake up.” He says softly in that low growl gravely voice men have in the morning.
 
I let out a soft groan of my own and stretch out every muscle at once, a move that presses me back against him harder, then roll over onto my back to face him. His dick lays across my pelvis and his balls rest between my legs on my upper thigh. His kiss movers from my shoulder to my mouth, which I happily accept.
 
“Good morning,” I say in an almost whisper.
 
“How are you feeling?” He asks. “Any panic attacks or urges to run away?”
 
“Not big ones. Little mild panic attack building up. No urges to run anywhere.” I push his hair back behind his ear. “No urges to run yet. Hell, I don’t even want to get out of bed right now.”
 
“Mmmm, I like the sound of that.” He says and leans down to kiss me again.
 
His hand grips my breast and his mouth moves towards it. As it does, I feel the head of his dick slide down towards my vagina.
 
“Okay, panic attack getting bigger.” I blurt out.
 
He moves back up and pulls back a bit from my face.
 
“Tell me about it.” He says.
 
“About what?”
 
“About what happens in your brain that causes such a switch from last night to now. What makes you go from happy to panic.” He says.
 
“It’s not like a switch. I mean the thoughts are there. The fear is there. I think just in the moment I get caught up and forget myself.” I say.
 
“I don’t think that’s it.” He rebuts.
 
“Oh no? Then what do you think it is?” I ask.
 
“I think you’re just trying to hold on to the past too hard.” He says. I roll my eyes. “No no, hear me out.”
 
“Okay fine, but I reserve my right to argue.”
 
“Deal,” he begins, “you say it’s an in the moment thing, which you’ve stated is typically because you become aroused to a certain level, correct?”
 
I groan and cover my eyes.
 
“God…”
 
“I’m not judging. And I’m the only one here. No judgements, no bad talk. Just open and honest. That’s what we agreed last night that this talk would be.” He reminds.
 
“Okay, fine,” I begin and look back at him. I swallow then admit, “when you touch me certain ways and do certain things I get turned on. When I get turned on I get the fog in my brain and tend to just react without thinking.” I’m mortified to have said that to him.
 
“Are you aroused right now?” He asks without even acknowledging my statement, which helps.
 
“Not really, maybe a little, but I kinda have always woken up a little aroused.” I say.
 
“Obviously, so do I.” He says and chuckles. “But that’s a good point. You’re not aroused, you’re not in the moment, but you’re here.”
 
“Yeah.”
 
“And you’re not trying to run away or telling me how horrible this all is. You’re being very soft and feminine and affectionate. You’re not hiding those from me behind a wall of masculine memories.” He points out.
 
“Because you’re making me feel safe.” I admit.
 
“Okay then, so maybe, just maybe, you’re not just getting caught up in the moment anymore. Maybe you’re happy this way.” He says.
 
“Even if that were true, which I’m not saying it is, it’s temporary, when you leave it will fade and I’ll be my anxious panicky self again.”
 
“I have an idea.” He says.
 
He rolls over, reaches into his nightstand, and pulls out a small box. He takes out its contents, a small piece of paper, he folds it up and puts it back. Then he rolls back over and holds it out.
 
“Here, hold this.” He says.
 
I reach out my hand and he places the box on my palm. I curl my thumb and forefinger to steady it.
 
“Okay,” he begins, “if you were to say, this is the spot in my brain where the fear, anxiety, and shame live, where would that be?”
 
I point to a spot in the back left side of my head. He reaches over and turns my head to the side and searches through my hair then touches a spot.
 
“About here?” He asks.
 
“Yeah.” I reply.
 
He puts all of his fingers and thumb together in that exact spot.
 
“Tell me when it’s about the right size.” He says. And starts spreading his fingers and thumb.
 
“There.” I say.
 
“Oh he’s still a big boy huh? That’s okay.”
 
 He moves his hand around a bit then makes a popping sound with his lips. I giggle as he brings his hand back like he’s holding something.
 
“Box.” He says. I hold it up and he puts the pretend item inside then closes it tight. “There, now that part of your mind, that toxic thinking is not there. But it’s still here. It’s still in this box, and will be on my nightstand for safe keeping. If you ever want it back you just open the box and take it.”
 
“That’s cute.” I say sincerely.
 
“I mean it Habibti, it’s not there. It’s here. And I’ll give it back before we leave the island if you want. But in the meantime, that means you can just be my wife and nothing more and not have to worry that he’s going to yell at you.” Samir says.
 
“You keep saying that, but I don’t even know what that looks like or if it’s even anything I would want.” I say honestly.
 
He takes the box from my hand and lays it on his nightstand. I know it’s all symbolic but something about the symbolism works and I feel a weigh lift.
 
“It looks like affection and happiness.” He says.
 
“So sex.” I reply. He sighs.
 
“No, not just sex. Last night you told me you were the happiest, most content, you’ve been in a long time.”
 
“I said that? I must have been drunk.” I quip.
 
“Be serious.” He scolds.
 
“Okay, yes, I actually still feel happier and more content than I have at least since changing, if not longer.” I reply honestly.
 
“Is that because of anything sexual we did?”
 
“Not exactly?” I reply unable to fully say no.
 
“What were some things that we did that made you feel that way?” He asks.
 
“When you were looking at us in the mirror and telling me how beautiful I was and touching me so gently and sensually. Waking up to  being held and kissed by you, which I really needed, and laying in your arms just talking until we fell asleep.” I say.
 
“Okay, it would look just like all of that, and more.”
 
“What more?” I ask hoping he doesn’t say sex.
 
“Holding hands, dates, walks on the beach, hugs, kisses, long talks when I get home. And all the other things couples do.”
 
“Hey, we talked for hours yesterday!” I interject.
 
“Yeah about sports, and beers, and the good old days. I want long talks about our days, and our thoughts and feelings, and possibly about our future together. How you’ll want to redecorate the penthouse when we get home. Most importantly, we need honesty and openness. Always.”
 
God, all of that sounds amazing right now. And terrifying.
 
“Aren’t you worried that if we do all of that one or both of us will start to develop feelings for each other?” I ask nervously.
 
“Sweetheart, for me, that ship has sailed. I think it has for you as well.” He admits, punctuating his words with a kiss and a gentle hand over my flesh.
 
“You have feelings for me?” I ask. “I thought you were just trying to seduce me.”
 
“At first I was but I’m not anymore. I’m f we never do anything sexual again, I’m still so happy to be with you.” He says.
 
“Isn’t that scary, dangerous?”
 
“Only if you open that box and let him out.” He says softly.
 
“What if I can’t do it? What if I open the box?” I ask.
 
“Then we have our answer. I’ll cancel the honeymoon and get you another blue pill.”
 
“Really?”
 
“Yes. I promise.”
 
The way he’s looking at me it makes saying no feel almost impossible. I nod softly.
 
“Okay, I’ll try.” I say softly.
 
His eyes light up and his smile gets bigger than I’ve ever seen.
 
“You just made me so happy Habibti.” He says.
 
“Turns out I really like making you happy.” I say back.
 
“Is that why you did that last night? You wanted to make me happy?” He asks.
 
“Did what? Jerked you off?” I ask.
 
“Yes,” he chuckles.
 
 “Not exactly. That was more so curiosity. I looked over and saw it hanging there. It was so nice and so hard it’s like it was begging to be touched. I just thought if I didn’t do it in that moment, I would never have the courage again.”
 
“Did you enjoy doing it?” He asks.
 
“Samir, I can’t…”
 
He puts his hand back to my cheek.
 
“We agreed, open and honest about everything.” He interrupts.
 
I sigh and look away
 
“Yes.” I nearly whisper.
 
He puts his finger on my chin and turns my face back towards him.
 
“I didn’t hear you.”
 
“Yes, I really liked it.” I say. My voice has never been so timid.
 
“What did you like about it?” He asks.
 
“Fuck, how did I know you were gonna ask that?”
 
“Because you know me too well.” He replies with a smirk. I roll my eyes.
 
I liked how you reacted to everything. How much you were enjoying everything I did. That’s how I figured out I like making you happy. And you came so hard, and there was so much. And, honestly, I liked you cumming on my chest. It felt so dirty but in a good way. Mostly, I liked how it felt in my hand. You’d be surprised by how much you miss that feeling.” I say a bit more confidently.
 
“So that’s the only reason you liked having it in your hand was nostalgia?”
 
“No,” I begin, “It was more than just nostalgia. I liked that it was yours. It made it easier, better.” I admit.
 
“See, was that so hard?” He asks.
 
“Yes!” I exclaim. “Excruciating.”
 
At that moment his alarm goes off.
 
“Well, saved by the bell. I have to go get ready for this meeting. I’m glad we had this time to talk this out.” He says.
 
“Me too, I think.” I chuckle.
 
When Samir gets in the bathroom, he turns on the shower. As it starts to heat up, he goes to the sink to brush his teeth. He notices the small vial of oil sitting there. The oil Katie gave him just after the wedding. The oil supplied by X-corp.
 
The oil is full of chemicals and other herbs designed to work with the chemistry of the pill I took and my own hormones to speed up my feminization. If not for having these chemicals being secretly absorbed through my skin, it would be weeks or more before I did any of the stuff I e done these past few days.
 
“She’s almost there,” he says to himself, “just another little boost.”
 
He picks up the vial and pours a little bit into my moisturizer. That means, despite Katie’s warning about not exceeding two doses in a twenty-four hour period, he has now added it to a third item that I will be applying to my skin before bedtime tonight.
 
As he shakes the bottle of moisturizer to mix the chemicals, and imagines his future with his perfect wife, I’m laying in the bed trying to wrap my mind around everything that’s happened. I can’t believe I’m agreeing to try and be a woman for him.
 
I can’t believe how easily he was able to convince me. I’m not sure if it’s him, the island vibes, or what, but I really feel the change inside myself since getting here. I do feel way more feminine and I don’t hate it as much. Let’s see what happens after he leaves.
 
I grab my phone to check the stock market and a few scores, feel a little normal for a moment. When I open it I see twenty-seven notifications from Max’s pizza. Jesus, Max, I totally forgot about him.
 
Also, what’s the point of hiding someone’s number under a business name if they’re going to blow your phone up?
 
I open the  text thread. Most of them are from last night. A few begging for a pic. Some asking where I went. Some apologies for being so blunt and one telling me how much he hates that I’m with another man. You mean my husband? Idiot.
 
It’s the message from this morning, a few minutes ago actually:
 
“Hey, so gonna have to meet at the pool today so probably wanna bring a suit.”
 
I quickly reply back, “Max, a pool is not a professional place to meet and a swimsuit is not considered professional attire.”
 
“I know, it’s not ideal. My partners met some people last night and are expecting them at the pool right after our meeting. I’m so sorry.” He replies almost right away.
 
“So this isn’t a scheme to get me in a swimsuit?”
 
“Of course not,” he replies.
 
“Because this is just a business meeting Max, nothing more.” I say.
 
 There’s no immediate reply. How does he go from replying so fast to nothing?
 
I get up and grab my robe and go get a couple of bagels and some coffee from the kitchen. By the time I return to the room, Samir is almost fully dressed. I hand him a coffee and bagel.
 
“Thank you Baby,” he says and I get butterflies, “what do you have planned for today?”
 
I walk over and check my phone. All he sent was a thumbs up. I try not to sigh.
 
“I’m meeting that group of guys I ran into yesterday to go over their contract.”
 
“Oh, right, I remember you mentioned that.” He says as he gets up. Before he leaves he stops. “Hey, listen, if you choose to never open the box and want your license again, I know someone back home who can help. Wouldn’t be totally legal but this situation exists in a world the laws haven’t caught up to yet.”
 
“Really? Thank you.” I say.
 
 My whole soul is smiling at how well he treats me. Of course, in the back of my mind I’m wondering if it’s all just a ploy to humiliate or fuck me to prove a point. I guess it all didn’t go in the box.
 
“Of course,” he begins, “okay, I gotta go.”
 
“Have a great day.” I say with a smile as I sit on the bed eating my bagel.
 
“No goodbye kiss?” He asks.
 
“You really want to play up this whole wife game huh?” I ask giggling.
 
“I do, but it’s not a game.”
 
I get up and walk over to him and wrap my arms around his neck.
 
“Have a great day honey, hurry home.” I say and give him a soft kiss.
 
“I know it was sarcastic, but I’ll take it.” He says.
 
After he leaves, I grab my phone and send Max a text telling him what time I’ll be there and go jump in the shower.
 
“Sounds good, we’ll be ready.” Max replies and sets down his phone.
 
“Okay boys, we’re all set. We have roughly two hours until we meet with our new attorney.” He says as he tosses his phone down onto the bed.
 
“I don’t understand,” his friend Tyler says, “why do we need to go over the contract with an attorney? We signed it three days ago.”
 
“Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, my dear sweet naïve Tyler. The contract is just a reason to get her back over here.” Max says.
 
“I still don’t know why you’re putting this much work in for one chick.” Gavin adds.
 
“She’s married, that’s five points, and over forty, that’s another five.” Max replies.
 
“If you at least get your dick sucked. And we will be needing proof” Gavin says.
 
“Oh she’s pretty much a sure thing. Just needs a little nudge.” Max says.
 
“I never should have made up this game.” Garrett says.
 
“You’re just mad that you’re losing.” Max replies as he gets in the shower.