I Was a Corporate Sociopath MILF Before I Became a Fantasy Witch, Ch04
Chapter 4: Tight-Lipped Women
The horse ride was killing me so I didn't have much space in my head to think about other potential problems. And if I ever thought about anything besides my sore ass, it was this ridiculous Law of the Road thing.
But there was another issue that from time to time pushed to the surface of my thoughts just from being around them constantly.
My party members.
Corinne and Vashira.
The issue was: are they even capable?
Garreth paired me with them, but to whose benefit? Clearly theirs—no question about it. They're his daughters in the end. I'd relied on his expertise when it came to mercenaries since he was one, or used to be.
The bottom line was: he knew my worth. He knew I'd be an asset. The untested question was whether his daughters were the best option for me.
I watched them.
Vashira rode ahead, and every time she pulled the reins, the muscles in her forearms rolled under sun-browned skin—thick, roped. CrossFitter vibe, if I had to put a word to it.
Corinne was taller—my height—and even nimbler than her sister. She handled the horse automatically, effortlessly, one hand on the reins while the other rested loose on her thigh. I caught her hands when she adjusted her grip. Calluses. Minor scars across the knuckles. Fingernails like a manual laborer's—short, blunt.
Absolutely no makeup in any shape or form on either of them.
I'd still fuck them if I were a straight man, no question.
I'd fuck them if I were a lesbian.
I could still fuck them if they were lesbians and there was any merit in fucking them.
To me, they looked like the real-deal adventurers.
But who was I to actually judge it? What if they're just dumb bitches waiting to get mugged by the first real bandits?
Well, I suppose then I'd join those bandits and rethink my options.
Got some answers that very same day.
Dusk hit and the road went quiet.
Nothing felt out of the ordinary to me, but Corinne's inhuman ears flickered—like a cat or a deer catching something on the wind.
Vashira tensed and drew her sword and shield.
She was so loud.
No—not that she was loud. Everything else was just quiet.
Wrong quiet. I got it then. The birds stopped. The insects stopped.
The horses heard it before we did.
Both mares screamed simultaneously—sharp, terrified. Vashira's horse reared so hard it nearly flipped backward. Corinne's spun sideways, hooves cracking against stone.
Then the chittering started.
From everywhere.
I spun. Couldn't locate it. Sound bouncing off trees, off the road, off my own skull. Like static layered over screaming.
Corinne's horse snapped its tie. The rope shredded like thread and the mare bolted straight into the tree line—branches cracking, gear bouncing off its flanks.
"Gibberlings," Corinne said it the way someone says "fire" in a crowded theater. Calm. Flat. But absolutely fucking terrified underneath—I could sense it, because I felt that myself!
Vashira was already wrestling her horse sideways, trying to keep the thrashing mare from crushing her against a tree. The horse went wild—rearing, slamming its hooves down, nearly catching Vashira in the shoulder. The mare broke free and bolted down the road, saddlebags bouncing.
Then I saw them. A mass of pale flesh and black hair pouring out of the tree line.
Dozens.
Grinning faces with black eyes that had no right to look that happy. Long arms dragging on the ground, some of them clutching crude weapons—knives, daggers, a short sword, maybe. Or just clubs.
Fucking monkeys! Furry little shits!
They fucking swarmed us! A wall of screaming meat coming at us from three directions.
I might have pissed myself a little.
But I had this. This was it. You were either a fantasy witch in a magical world, or you were dead.
And I wasn't keen on dying.
Not now. Not ever!
I was already incanting my own atomic bomb, the most powerful magic I'd managed to learn during my months at the Keep.
The words and hand gestures needed to be exact or it would never happen.
So no pressure. Just a horde of little motherfuckers storming me!
I spilled a pinch of fine sand at the exact moment to complete the incantation. It poured out of me. Not a whisper, not a scream—a current. The spell had shape and I gave it direction, pointed it at the center mass like aiming a hose. The energy knew what to do. I just had to let it.
The wave hit the center mass.
Bodies dropped. One moment they were shrieking, the next they were collapsing mid-stride—pale limbs folding under them like puppets with cut strings. Fifteen, maybe twenty. I couldn't count. They just went down, piled on each other, twitching in sleep they didn't deserve.
Brad, you small-dick, manchild, useless piece of shit motherfucker—you were right. Sleep spell was the fucking best AOE in "early game."
Well. Game on.
And the rest of this apelike filth didn't stop.
Didn't even slow down.
That was the horror. No pause. No "oh shit, half the swarm just dropped." The remaining ten—or fifteen, or however many—kept coming with the same mindless, grinning frenzy. They stepped over their sleeping kin. Some stepped *on* them.
Waking some up!
Vashira met the first wave head-on. Her sword came up and down, up and down. No wasted motion. She caught a gibberling mid-leap. The blade took it through the chest. She kicked it off her sword without breaking stance.
Thank god. Gods. My angel. Whatever. She actually knew how to fight!
Another one lunged. She pivoted, cut downward, removed the motherfucker's arm. It kept crawling toward her with the one it had left.
She didn't flinch. Just bashed its skull with her shield.
*Okay. She's capable.*
I'd cast Mage Armor on myself earlier that day. It probably still held.
Hard to track time without a clock!
So after Sleep, I was out of big guns.
A gibberling-thing broke from the right. I hit it with the same power I killed Borys.
They had a name for it here. Mind Sliver.
It was actually a minor spell, a cantrip.
Not because I was less powerful in this reality than on Earth, but because magic was a thing here, so all creatures were more used to it.
And more resistant.
Made sense, I supposed.
Didn't help my victim, though. The psychic spike lanced out and its skull rattled—that barely-there brain scrambling inside bone. It stumbled. Kept coming. Stumbled again. Dropped.
One down. Too many left.
Corinne was on it.
She sidestepped a charging gibberling, let its own momentum carry it past, and opened its throat in a single backhand stroke. Two more came at her together. She gave ground—one step, two—then drove her pommel into the first one's face and cut the second across the belly.
Guts hit the dirt. The thing kept trying to crawl.
Corinne stomped its skull open. She was already tracking the next one.
I hit another with Mind Sliver. It shrieked and collapsed.
I'm not gonna lie. I was getting more and more into it.
They weren't even people. I mean, not like people. Or, I don't know. Elves, I suppose?
They were just annoying animals. Pests.
I fucking hated pests.
But putting them down?
That was actually invigorating.
My head was pounding. I could taste copper.
That D&D nonsense about magic users shooting magic without any downsides beyond burning through their slots for the day? Bullshit, straight out the bull's ass!
The last three rushed Vashira together. She batted aside one sword, took a claw across the forearm that opened her sleeve and the skin underneath, and buried her blade in the lead gibberling's throat. Corinne came in from the side and took the second. The third threw itself at me.
I flinched.
Mage Armor held. The impact bounced off the invisible barrier like it had hit a wall. The gibberling rebounded, stunned for half a second.
Corinne's sword took its head off.
Vashira wiped her blade on a dead gibberling's mane. Blood ran down her forearm from the claw wound. She didn't seem to notice.
Corinne scanned the treeline. Sword still up. Still ready.
*They're capable,* I thought. *They're very fucking capable.*
We stood in the dark surrounded by twitching bodies and the stink of gibberling blood. My head was splitting, but I cast Light anyway.
Because we needed it.
And because I wanted to see how sleeping motherfuckers would die when I finished them off one by one with my spells!
"We need the horses," Corinne said, as she and her sister joined me in finishing off the unconscious gibberlings.
No shit.
Didn't find them that night.
Didn't find them the next day either.
We actually walked to the nearest town on foot.
So Ostwick happened to be the first city I'd visited in this world.
Without money. And in the company of two horseless women who, even if they'd had any cash yesterday, today were as broke as I was.
But at least my companions were capable muscle. They could really swing those swords, I supposed.
So it could've been worse.
It shouldn't have surprised me that Ostwick's market was a bazaar-style affair—dozens of merchants hawking their goods, encouraging potential buyers, screaming over each other.
"Silk! Pure silk from the southern coast!"
I stopped. Touched the fabric. The sheen was wrong—flat, single-toned, more like cheap satin than real silk. I bunched it in my fist. Let go. The wrinkles stayed. Real silk bounces back. This stuff had the drape of a lining fabric. Back home I'd use it to wrap a gift, not wear it.
Six gold for a scarf.
Undergarments. A woman selling linen shifts, properly cut, with stitching that wasn't garbage. I held one up. Soft enough. Eight silver.
A tailor's stall with fitted dresses. A leatherworker selling women's gloves. Bone combs at one silver each.
I touched everything. Bought nothing. Every merchant's smile faded when I moved to the next stall.
Perfumes. An old man with tiny glass vials of rosewater and something musky. I uncorked one. Closed my eyes. For a second I was back in my bathroom. My real bathroom.
Five gold. For rosewater.
Next stall—pigments. Berry wax lip color in a clay pot. Two silver. Almond kohl. Three silver. A woman grinding something with a mortar and pestle, selling it by the pinch. I tested the lip color on my wrist. Streaky. Under-pigmented.
Still fucking wanted it.
I needed my own gold. Fast.
A girl brushed past me at the pigment stall—young, pretty, with kohl already smudged under her eyes. She dropped three coppers on the counter, took the same berry wax lip color I'd just been fondling, and disappeared into the crowd.
I watched her go. The direction she walked. Toward the south side of the market, where the upper-floor windows had red cloth hanging.
Brothels. Of course.
Ostwick had maybe a few thousand people. For me it was a village. By this world's standards it was a town—a trade town. And a trade town like this probably had more than one brothel. All those merchants, all those caravans, all those men with coin and nowhere to spend it.
Locals wanted a piece of that.
Local girls wanted a piece of that.
And merchants wanted a piece of ass.
Open free market at its finest.
Every working girl needed lip color, kohl, perfume, linen shifts. And they were the ones who could actually afford it.
That's who this market was really for. Not noblewomen. Not merchant wives.
Well, I wasn't a fucking spellcaster, a fucking sorceress, to be outdone by common village whores!
I looked around for my companions.
My party members.
Found them near the south end of the market, at a cart stacked with traveling gear—saddlebags, rope, flint, waxed canvas.
Vashira was doing the talking. Arms crossed, weight on one hip, head tilted like she was sizing the man up for a fight.
Like she was constantly trying to die a virgin.
She was a virgin. That much came out when we'd discussed the whole Law of the Road debacle again. Trying to hit on Garreth Vane's daughter meant you had to get through him to get at any of his little princesses. Whatever daddy issues blondie might've had, it was clear Garreth had been cockblocking every guy in her life since she was young.
Obviously the same Garreth Vane had no moral qualms about getting some from any other man's daughter.
Men are men. Simple as that. Abandon all logic.
Corinne wasn't so open about her experiences, which made sense. No point in telegraphing. I kept having to remind myself she only looked twenty-ish, but she was older than me. A grown woman in a world of swords, sorcery, unshaven pubes, and armpits.
And Road marriages.
"The eastern pass. How far to the mines from the fork?" Vashira continued to interrogate a guy who just wanted to sell her some gear.
The merchant held up fingers. "Three days if the weather holds. Four if the mules bog down."
"Bandits?" Corinne leaned in.
He shrugged. "Seen fewer carts coming back than going. Draw your own conclusions."
The sisters hadn't shut up about the mines since we left the Kindly Rest. Every cart, every merchant, every poor bastard within earshot got the same interrogation.
Not once had either of them stopped at a perfume stall.
Fucking tomboys. I wouldn't be fucking surprised if I caught them pissing standing up.
"I'm sure we can get work as escorts for some merchant heading in the direction of the mines," Corinne filled me in as I joined them.
That had legs. The sisters had been in this trade for some time—Corinne especially.
But if we traveled from here without cash, I wouldn't be able to buy anything.
I didn't argue. I nodded, but also added: "We could also look for some local work."
Corinne considered, then inclined her head. Vashira rolled her eyes. "Fine."
What the fuck was wrong with that girl?
Anyway.
Ostwick had a substantial hospitality sector due to being a vital trade hub for the local economy. Multiple taverns. All geared toward visitors—locals drank elsewhere without fancy liquor and inflated prices.
Even places that weren't brothels had working ladies freelancing.
Because the town was so saturated with whores, no one tried to catcall my companions. With options like that, harassing armed women didn't seem like a good idea.
Plus, considering our predicament, our sweat-stained asses weren't standing out so much in a room full of professionals offering their services.
But on the other hand, that meant if someone actually wanted to approach us, it wasn't because he wanted a piece of something we weren't about to sell.
Well, if not for my tomboy escort, I'd easily get myself a drink and dinner on someone else's dime. I was sure of that.
"Um… Yuna, I don't think we can afford this place," Vashira said conspiratorially when we entered the fanciest tavern in town.
"I don't think we can afford any place," Corinne clarified, but kept it cool.
I gave them a confident look, as a true leader should.
They didn't show the slightest sign that they opposed my position right now.
They also wanted a solution.
And leadership was just that—the ability to project a path to a solution.
But a leader didn't just need to sell her followers on the plan.
She also needed to be shameless enough to believe it herself.
And I believed it.
I'd wasted enough evenings of my past life on boring D&D sessions to know that a tavern floor was the best place for potential quests.
Some jerk slapped the waitress's ass so hard she stumbled…
Tray full of drinks and all…
Looked like they'd land on me and the sisters.
Not on my fucking watch.
I cast Shape Water—yet another cantrip I'd mastered during my months at the Keep. My angel was right. I was a natural-born magician, and doing magic felt natural.
So right.
Ale and wine froze solid midair—ruby and amber shards that bounced off our clothes and shattered on the floor.
Not only did the liquid freeze—the whole fucking tavern froze, staring at us.
I smirked.
Now that's an entrance.
We sat down.
And lo and behold, some kid zeroed in on us from across the tavern like we had a sign over our heads.
I knew what he saw. Three women who'd walked into town looking like they'd been dragged through a hedge, fought something in it, and lost their horses in the process.
Vashira's sleeve was still crusted with dried blood from the gibberling claw.
Corinne's cloak was torn at the hem.
As for me, I'd freshened up with a Prestidigitation cantrip, but God knows I needed a bath!
We looked like people who'd killed something recently and hadn't bothered to clean up after.
Apparently that was exactly what this idiot was looking for.
He crossed the room with a grin that had no business being that confident.
Young. Maybe twenty. Clean hands, clean nails.
He smelled like perfume. Actual perfume.
A sword at his hip that was too ornate, too well-maintained. Riding boots that had never seen mud.
Handsome little shit. I'll give him that. Dark hair swept back, a jawline that belonged to a Vogue cover.
A privileged playboy type.
Wait… is that a noble?
He swept into a bow. Actual bow.
I glanced at the sisters. Vashira was impressed, Corinne not a fucking bit.
Ok, he is a noble.
"Ladies," he started politely. "I hope you'll forgive the intrusion, but I find myself in desperate need of three women who look like they could ruin someone's evening."
He was a smooth fucking talker. I'd fucked so many boys like him that I wanted to vomit right then and there.
The waitress brought the wine I'd already ordered to our table before I'd figured out who would pay for it.
She didn't raise the issue when I ordered it. Not after our grand entrance.
But that was behind us now, since a sponsor had just graced us with his presence.
His eyes moved between us. Lingered on Vashira, Corinne's ears, and my cleavage. Back to my eyes. He grinned like he'd been caught stealing.
I took a sip.
"Is this a foursome proposition?" I smirked.
Vashira choked on her drink.
Corinne cleared her throat.
The boy opened his mouth, closed it, and then smiled.
Such a slimeball.
"I'm Dallin Lockley, and… I need protection. Stunning, intimidating, armed protection."
He looked at the three of us like we were exactly what he'd been praying for.
"What's the job?" asked Vashira.
"My friend is in a spot of trouble—misunderstanding with the local establishment. Three men are hunting her. Armed men."
Oh, so he was just a simp.
"What's the pay?" Corinne inquired.
"Three hundred gold."
I smiled.
Dallin led us through the back streets of Ostwick.
"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Vashira snorted.
"'Cause this kind of pay for protection always means trouble," Corinne replied.
I did the math in my head myself. Something was fishy about it. I knew it. The sisters knew it. Dallin knew we knew it.
I didn't comment—didn't have to. Vashira and Corinne voiced their concerns but didn't argue about taking the job. They were adventurers, and that was the mindset. Take a big risk to earn big bucks. Work hard, play hard, that kind of thing.
Not exactly what I preferred in my past life, but I understood it well enough. In the end I'd been about to get killed in my mid-thirties, and only my magic powers had saved me before my angel snatched me out of there.
So in this life, I'd decided to be more proactive. Take more risks. Besides, my girls and I had just swept three or four dozen gibberlings yesterday. We were capable.
We found Dallin's sweetheart outside a boarded-up warehouse near the east gate. Leaning against the wall like she'd been waiting for hours and wanted us to know it.
Tall, raven-haired, sharp-jawed. Late twenties maybe, but working hard to look early twenties. She wore a dress that was trying to be elegant and landing on "available." Rings on three fingers. None of them matched.
Her eyes went to Dallin first. Warm. Proprietary. The way you look at something you own.
Then her eyes went to us. First the sisters, then me. Back to Dallin. Her jaw tightened for exactly one second before she caught it and rearranged her face into something pleasant.
"Dallin. I see you've found your… protectors," she said, looking at me again.
"I have! This is—"
"I didn't ask for names." She cut him off without looking away from me. "I asked for swords."
Her eyes stayed on mine. Assessing. I knew that look. I'd given that look. She was calculating whether I was competition for the resource she was milking.
And I was.
I smiled at her. She didn't smile back.
"You hired women," she said to him. Flat.
"You have a problem with that?" Vashira asked In no-bullshit fashion. Being a female adventurer, she probably got this kind of crap a lot, and her tone indicated she wasn't going to take it from anyone—especially not another woman.
Obviously Vashira totally misread the situation. Dallin's chick wasn't doubting our capabilities—on the contrary, she instinctively viewed us as competition.
Me in particular.
As she should.
Because small-tits gals like her should know their place in the pecking order!
I watched her work through it. The jealousy was real—sharp, instinctive. She didn't want other pussy near her meal ticket. I'd seen it a hundred times in corporate wives at Christmas parties. The way they'd circle their husbands when a new secretary walked in.
The tight smile—If their other lips were that tight, they wouldn't have to worry!
But this one was smart enough to recalculate. She knew Dallin's weakness because she'd exploited it herself. Pretty women made him stupid. If three pretty women were standing here, it was because Dallin's dick had done the hiring.
Not a threat to her gig. Just more tools in the box.
Her shoulders relaxed. The smile came back. Real this time.
"Well." She pushed off the wall. "I suppose I should explain the situation."
She looked at the three of us like a manager briefing contractors.
"Three men are coming for me. Merchants. They claim I wronged them—lies, of course. The ravings of bitter, grasping men. They will arrive soon, and they will threaten me. Your job is simple: dispose of them when they do."
Vashira snorted, looked at me, then at her sister. Our read of the situation was identical. This was assassination work. Dark alley, evening—somehow merchants were going to 'arrive' here to 'threaten' her.
Definitely not her setting up an ambush on them in a dark alley. No, no.
I inclined my head, smiled at her and Dallin. "We will act as your guard, with all that it involves—such as 'disposing' of threats to your life. For the agreed price." I said it calmly and looked at Dallin. The sisters nodded slowly. It was clear to me they weren't happy with straight murder.
The woman smirked. "Good. And I would advise you—strike fast. Whatever you do, don't speak with them." She paused. Let that sit. "One of them is a mage. His mystic words can sway even the most wise of men. Or women."
I raised an eyebrow. So recruiting me in particular made even more sense now. Fight fire with fire, I supposed. That was Dallin's idea.
And yeah, that made sense. Don't let a mage get a word in. Obviously.
But then.
But then I'd said that exact phrase to Brad's lawyer once, before a meeting with a competitor's CFO. "Don't let him talk. Just get the signature." You say that when you know the other side's explanation will fuck your narrative.
I looked at her. She looked at me.
She knew I knew.
She didn't care. She thought I was just another greedy adventurer who'd take the money and swing the sword or spell.
I smiled at her again.
She smiled back.
We were both lying.