r/maturefindom

“It’s not dominant to message first” - idk… I don’t really care what people think and if I see something I want, I express that. I don’t play games and I don’t give a shit if I don’t get an answer.

I just don’t want to wait to go after something I want.

If I saw someone I wanted to get to know IRL, I’d go up to them to start convo…. So what is that? Submissive? Lol

I just really like talking to interesting people.

And if someone is entertaining, respectful, and we still don’t click enough to continue chatting…then alright that’s cool 🤷‍♀️ I don’t consider it a waste of my time if I’m having fun. And if I’m not having fun, I just won’t engage.

I’m outgoing and pervy.

I’ve clicked with some really cool, compatible people this way.

I’ve often been told that they’ve been lurking already and are so happy to see my message.. or that they find it hot to be messaged.

Why? Because I only message people i can see posting or commenting in a way where it seems like we would vibe. I don’t just message anyone I recognize as a sub with a “pay me 🐽 “.

I never message anyone who is obviously owned, and if I’m told that someone is owned, I back off. I don’t need anyone else’s sub.

And yeah, I’ve also gotten a lot of no-replies… but I also have lots of fun memories I wouldn’t take back facilitating (I am a facilitating kind of girl, after all 😏) and idc if it’s the one time we ever talk - life is too short to worry about how we’re perceived (said as someone who worried about that the most, for SO LONG 🩷).

Who the hell has time for “oh how would it seem if I send a message”? I personally refuse to base my actions on the presumed reaction of an internet stranger. 🤷‍♀️ But that’s just me.

Tell me :

Dommes, do you have a hard boundary on not messaging first?

Subs, what do you think when a domme thoughtfully or uniquely messages you first?

Hey, wandering subs seeking a Domme, let’s talk about approaching ✨

I created a short helpful guide for if you actually want your prospective Domme to answer your chat request.
I’ve been getting a lot of eye-rolling, low-effort approaches lately. Do I answer them?

Never.

For the sake of this post, let’s say you’re interested in becoming my plaything. I won’t assume to know what other Dommes want, but if you want to find your way into my lap, your first few messages don’t need to be complicated. They should show some thought.

DO:

✨ Read my profile and pinned posts first
✨ Be prepared to offer age verification via Yoti
✨ Introduce yourself and tell me what specifically caught your attention
✨ Ask thoughtful questions
✨ Be clear about what you’re looking for
✨ Be respectful of my time and boundaries
✨ Understand that you’re going to have to earn my trust

ABSOLUTELY DO NOT:

✨ Just send “Hey” or “Hi”
✨ Immediately demand a task
✨ Lead with your fantasies, a list of kinks, or with your submissive resume
✨ Assume a title or level of familiarity I haven’t invited
✨ Send photos
✨ Keep messaging when I haven’t responded
✨ Reach out while your dick is in your hand ready to pop 😒
✨ Have your post or comment history hidden

And remember:
You’re approaching a person for a conversation, not applying for a position as my submissive.
You haven’t earned the title, the attention, or the dynamic yet.
Your first message is your opportunity to give me a reason to want to know more about you, so make it worth answering.

Good luck, be sharp 🖤✨