u/Anon_Daughter7845-23

I think that’s the simplest way to put it, I want a damn crush, the kind where I see your name on my phone and immediately smile, where we send voice notes back and forth, stay up way too late talking, and somehow spend 40 minutes discussing a rock before accidentally getting into whether life has any actual purpose. I have a whole life already, marriage, kids, responsibilities, and people constantly needing something from me, and I’m tired of being needed, I want to be wanted. I want my own secret little world with someone, I want you to be clingy, because I’m clingy, double text me because I’m gonna quadruple text you, tell me the dumb thing that happened at work because I’m gonna complain about how my coworker keeps stealing my snacks, call because you have ten minutes and wanted to hear my voice, because I will call for two seconds just to hear you say hi, and annoy the hell out of me in a way that makes me smile, because I’m definitely doing that. I never want to wonder whether you actually enjoy talking to me and I never want you to wonder if I enjoy talking to you. I want communication too, so if you’re going to have a busy day, it takes three seconds to say, “Babe, I’m going to be super busy today, I’m not ghosting you, I’m just busy, and I’ll get to you when I’m free.” It’s not hard, it’s the bare minimum. I want intelligence, humor, curiosity, emotional depth, and consistency, so please, for the love of God, have a personality beyond your dick. If your preferred method of ending a connection is spontaneously evaporating into the atmosphere, we are not compatible. Also, completely unrelated, but if you actually made it this far, work the phrase nice rock into your first message somehow. Don’t tell me why. I’ll know. If you just want to think with your cock, there are a million different women on Reddit who want exactly that, but I want your brain first. I want to be excited by the way you think, your humor, your perspective, and the way you make me feel when we talk, and maybe later, if your brain excites me first, we can see where the rest of the chemistry takes us. I want attraction too, and I want to meet eventually, have elaborate dates, steal afternoons together, and find excuses to dress up. I want to feel like a teenager with a boyfriend again, except now we have adult money and can go somewhere considerably better than the mall. So you gotta be local and you have to be sure this is what you want, I don’t wanna set up dates and plans only to be ghosted because it’s suddenly too real. I don’t want cold feet because I’m sure of where I am. And we’re both here looking for something. I’m not looking for someone to rescue me or rearrange my life, I just want a corner of it where I feel ridiculously alive.

I don’t really know what I’m expecting from posting this.
Maybe nothing. Maybe I just need proof that there are still people out there who love the way I do. I’ve realized something about myself over the last few years. I don’t know how to love halfway.

If I care about someone, they become part of my everyday life without me even trying. I see something funny and immediately want to send it to them. Something good happens and they’re the first person I want to tell. I remember the random things they mention, I check in just because, I call because I have ten free minutes and I’d rather hear their voice than listen to music. My brain just… stays with the people I love.

I’ve spent so long being that person that I honestly don’t know what it feels like to have someone do it back.
And I want to, I want someone who’s excited to see my name pop up on their phone, I want someone who texts me too much, calls me just because. Sends me a picture of something stupid because it reminded them of me. I want to roll my eyes because you’re blowing up my phone while secretly loving every second of it.

I want to know what it feels like to live in someone else’s mind the way they’ve always lived in mine. Call it obsession if you want. I think that’s exactly what I’m looking for.
Not the unhealthy kind where people lose themselves.
The kind where you genuinely can’t wait to tell each other about your day. Where hearing their voice makes a bad day better.

I’m a mom, and that’s always going to be my first priority.
Life gets busy sometimes. There will be nights when I’m helping with homework, making dinner, or dealing with whatever chaos comes with having kids. If I disappear for a little while, it’s not because I’m losing interest.
And honestly I’d love someone who keeps sending the texts anyway. Who sends a “hope your day’s going okay” text without expecting an immediate reply. Who calls later because they just wanted to hear my voice. Someone secure enough to understand that being busy isn’t the same as not caring.

I’m not looking for sex, I’m not looking for someone who’s secretly counting the messages until they can steer the conversation toward nudes, hookups, or anything physical. Please don’t waste either of our time if that’s your goal, there are plenty of people looking for that.
I’m looking for something deeper, emotional intimacy.
I want conversations that accidentally last until two in the morning. I want to know what makes you laugh, what keeps you awake at night, what you’re passionate about, what you’ve survived, and who you’re trying to become. I want to build something from the inside out.
I’m in the Los Angeles area and would love to meet people locally. If we genuinely connect, I’d absolutely be open to meeting in person when it feels right.

I’m just exhausted, exhausted from always wondering if I’m texting too much, wondering if I care more, exhausted from feeling like I have to make myself smaller so I don’t come across as “too much.”
I don’t want that anymore, I don’t want to be less.
I want to find someone who matches me, who loves loudly, who thinks of me often, who’s just a little obsessed.
Because I want to be selfish, I want to have someone obsessing over me, thinking of me, wanting me.