44m based in Sunnyvale. Happy to host or to meet at another place in the SF Bay Area. 6', 185 lbs, bearded. I adore eating pussy and have had a couple ongoing interactions in the past where unreciprocated oral was the main or only sexual interaction. I'm hoping to find a dynamic like that again.
I've (44m) been in a poly relationship with my partner (36f) for almost a decade. Most things in the relationship are really good. We love and support one another and have a broad range of shared interests. We enjoy spending time together. The main issues for several years have revolved around sex. It mostly boils down to the fact that I really like pleasuring her and she doesn't like pleasuring me. We've ended up with a strongly asymmetric sexual relationship and I feel pretty disregarded. Her differing level of interest in sex with me versus her other sexual partners is extremely obvious. The plausible paths forward seem to me to be for us to make attempts to find ways to have sex together that I feel included in or to turn the denial/exclusion/asymmetry stuff into a fun, kinky element. Both of us have some interest in that sort of dynamic during play, but she has expressed strong reservations about adopting it as a baseline pattern. She's also abandoned the last several attempts to start rebuilding sexual rapport (different activities each time) really quickly (within 5-10 minutes each time). We still have good sex when it's solely focused on making her feel good, but any time my enjoyment would require attention or effort from her she disengages or makes clear that it feels like a burden. We're in couples therapy and this stuff also occupies most of my time in individual therapy. Looking for some outside opinions.