u/DabblinginDomination

Good morning!

I'm a married queer in an ENM relationship. I've been in the kink community for a decade, but only in the last few have I started considering/exploring being to the left side of the slash. I've had a few short term dynamics in the past, but I want to be honest about my level of experience.

I'm looking for a dynamic with someone of any gender over the age of 25.

My ideal dynamic involves

- Softness with touches of patronizing humiliation and pain play.

I'm a caring person in general and I have no interest in being cruel to a dynamic partner all the time. That being said I have found that I enjoy being mocking at times, and I am a sadist.

- A small number of lifestyle goals/rules for a mature sub.

Whether this is setting one goal/rule that is more of a stretch, that will need more encouragement and active effort or slightly more goals/rules that mostly need encouragement and someone to be accountable too.

I am uninterested in being your total lifestyle overhaul- I don't want to chase a sub daily about drinking enough water only for them to brat about whether or not energy drinks count. I want to work with a sub on something that they want for their life. I get genuine pleasure out of helping people grow and watching them succeed at bettering their lives.

- Some sort of ritual that reifies the dynamic regularly.

Whether this is kneeling in the morning, body writing, cage checks, a weekly journaling exercise- the specifics don't matter as much as building something into the dynamic that makes it feel like a dynamic- not just a series of one off tasks.

Outside of those 3 things, I'm open to working a variety of kinks into the dynamic. My hard limits involve permanent damage, anything that involves exposing nonconsenting parties to kink activities, sissies (though I am okay with feminization just not for the purpose of humiliation), and anything involving myself being called Mommy. No thanks.

If you're hoping to find a sexy smoking hot domme who will be your personal pornstar- I'm not going to be your cup of tea. I'm not against potentially sharing photos in the future, but I don't want a dynamic that is about that. Jerking off is not my goal for either of us- creating a dynamic that feels safe and fulfilling for both parties is. Sexy things are a bonus, not the meal.

Outside of kink, I enjoy going to live theatre and events as well as working on creative projects. I love the outdoors and spending time in nature, in fact after I hit send I will be taking some mending and sitting outside in the garden.

If you're interested in something similar, I would love to hear from you. Please include something in your first message about both your kinks and who you are as a person outside of kink. Any messages that don't include that will be ignored and any suspected AI will also be ignored.

I watched a BL yesterday that turned out to basically be... the line between straight up porn and BL has never been thinner. But it was about a man hiring a 'sex therapist' to help him work through his issues. The sex therapist was very professional about everything- to the point of being a bit robotic- really highlighting that even when he was fucking the guy, it wasn't about his own pleasure but the client's.

And I....

I want to do a scene/have a dynamic where I'm a shady 'sex therapist' helping a sweet girl overcome her problems with sex.

I want to work on her body image, helping guide her into taking more and more revealing photos. Not for me, of course, I'm just reviewing her 'homework'- that's all. I'm complimenting her to build her self esteem.

Assigning various masturbation tasks, having her keep a journal about how it feels. Requiring her to allow me to read it- after all, how can I help if I don't know what's working?

Sessions dedicated to finding all the sensitive parts of her body, to showing her how reactive her body can be to different kinds of touch. Sending her home afterword, aching and wanting, delighted in the knowledge that she'll probably masturbate as soon as she gets home. Maybe she won't even make it there, subtly trying to rub one out in the car because other wise she'd be too distracted.

Working through different goals she has related to sex, gently encouraging her while keeping a 'professional' distance.

Soft, gentle coercion/cnc- responding to Nos/anxiety with 'I know this is scary, but it's important for your growth'. Soft, gentle pushing, all while pretending that none of it is for me.

The show did it all in 4 'sessions' but I love the idea of it being longer than that- maybe agreeing on a pathway for 8-12 'sessions', creating a roadmap for each one. After all, we wouldn't want to rush it too fast, now would we?