u/DeepKinkQuestions

So first, I got the Tantus Inner Band Trainer and I love it. ❤️ It runs true to size, feels great, and I think I’m already dilating the outside sphincter to around 5.5” inches circumference after a couple sessions. It seemed like it was going to be sticky, but once you throw lube on it it’s smoother than the Future Method Dilators (which are already pretty smooth).

Question: I’ve also been using the Mr S Leather Large plug. I was stretching with that for a couple weeks and can easily get it all the way to and past the widest point (especially post Tantus), no issues. The only part the feels weird/vaguely uncomfortable is the last bit where the sphincters close over the neck. Is that normal? Again, fully able to accommodate the width, even going slightly beyond to where the hole starts to close, but that last bit of length where the neck slips into place feels weird. Even trying it 3 times in one session (full insert, wait for 20-30 seconds, gently pull out partway/back over the bulb, wait 10-20 seconds, repeat).

It’s not painful, but it doesn’t feel great either?

Added: it’s not the point poking into the rectal wall. That’s not super comfortable either but I know what that feels like.

Is there a good reason to get one over the other? I know the Tantus has a ridge midway down and is essentially a dilator with a thinner/longer taper at the tip, but that’s about it. The cone is wider but with what looks like an ultra smooth taper down the full length, although the tip is wider than a dilator. This is just for long term stretching rather than a dedicated play toy.

Is there a good reason to get one over the other? I know the Tantus has a ridge midway down and is essentially a dilator with a thinner/longer taper at the tip, but that’s about it. The cone is wider but with what looks like an ultra smooth taper down the full length, although the tip is wider than a dilator.

Just checking in. I’m still on a 1.4” dilator after 3 weeks (started from the smallest one 7 weeks ago), and for the past week I’ve plateaued at about 20 seconds to get it in to full width, or roughly 3 insertions (withdrawing partially after the first two). It doesn’t seem to be going any faster even though I’ve gone up to dilating every day for the last 3 days (up from every other day for the first 2.5 weeks).

I know the info posts say that being fully adapted means only needing one smooth motion or a just few seconds to go all the way to full width/stretch. Is it possible that my resting tension is just at the level where 20 seconds is what “adapted” looks like for me at my current level of maximum stretch?

I was reading the post about upsizing and got a little spooked so I thought I would ask here.

I'm getting a 1.4" dilator to its full width every other day, with an occasional second day off. It takes me about 2 minutes of warm up with a finger and another couple minutes with the dilator to stretch the rest of the way open. No pain, 5 second insertions only.

When the dilator does hit full width at both sphincters everything is still pretty tight around it, which I'm guessing is normal and healthy since that's my maximum stretch so far. (I wouldn't expect it to be loose unless the muscles were already adapted to accommodating something bigger.)

My ass is a bit more relaxed than when I started (it took about a month to get there, after I had moved up to the 1.3" dilator), but that's coming from a crazy tight baseline. I can get a fingertip in right from the start with just some lube and the outer sphincter doesn't have a death grip on it. It still takes me a minute to get in past the first knuckle.

So first question: even at this relatively low level, it's normal to not have death grip as the outer sphincter baseline after a month of dilation, I hope?

Second question: am I correct in my assumption above that it's normal and probably healthy for one's maximum adapted diameter to not be painful but still remain relatively tight? (For example, 1.4" wouldn't feel any less tight unless I moved up something like 1.6" as a max, just to throw out a random plausible number.)

Third question: given what I described above, do I have anything to worry about if my next step is a Small Egg? As long as I start out with 10 minutes at a time, listen to body signals, etc?

(The part that spooked me was the passage in the upsizing thread that warned about still having potential damage if pain wasn't involved, especially the part about months or years later without realizing it, and some of the signs being easier insertion and the sphincters feeling less tight. I'm assuming that that's taking for granted in part that there's going to be some adaptation doing from zero to some level of dilation.)

Progressing to 4.4"!

After a couple of sessions (and about a month of building up with smaller dilators) I can take the full width of the largest Future Method dilator with no pain! 🎇 I'm probably just going to stay on this stage for a week or two.

The next toys I have after that are a Small Egg and a 5" black plug. I was thinking that I might go in reverse and use the body of the black plug to dilate further to 5" and then go back to the Egg since that has a slightly smaller circumference.

Awkward question: most of my stretching time is done standing at the moment due to convenience and privacy, and my shoulder is not super happy with being in that "reaching backwards" position for a few minutes at a time. Does anyone else deal with this, and have you found a solution?

I’m up to the 3rd dilator in the Future Method set. It’s not inserting to full width yet but I’m almost there. The biggest lesson for me is accepting that my ass is still *really* tight some days (I suppose I should be grateful?) and I might have to spend 5 minutes just slowly getting a finger in there and massaging the outer ring to get it to relax. The benefit is being able to dilate with no pain afterwards. I can’t believe that I’m seriously considering getting the inner band trainer in the future if I graduate from the biggest dilator and get comfortably adapted to both of my plugs.

I’ll probably keep saying this for as long as I’m on here, but being able to stretch and make progress with no pain is just amazing in light of the “no pain, no gain” butt play philosophy that I learned in my younger days. You all are doing really important work.

I’m coming up to what was supposed to be 2 weeks of dilation with a 0.9 inch dilator (every other day). Insert and withdraw for 5 minute sessions. The first week went great, the 2nd week has seen me literally seem to get tighter every session. I have a small hemorrhoid that has gotten irritated from the repeated insertion friction as well. It looks like I’m going to need to take at least a couple days off to let that calm down. It’s really frustrating.

I’ve been using the Future Method dilators for 8 days and I’m still on the 0.9” one. (Going with the accompanying guide that suggests staying on the first one for 2 weeks even if it seems easy.) I’ve been doing 5 minute sessions every other day and I had gotten up to being able to get it in within 20 seconds of starting (after using a finger for pre-lube).

Today it took me a whole minute just to get those first couple inches in, and while there was never any pain, there definitely seemed to be some sort of tension/resistance going on throughout the session that was way less friendly than the progression I had been experiencing for the week prior. Is this normal?

I got the Future Method silicone dilators, they seem like they're going to be pretty great and a step up from the trainers I've used over the past couple decades.

I definitely still have some of my muscle memory because I was able to get the .9" one all the way in within 5 minutes with no pain. (Though I did have an issue with the water based lube thinning out in one spot that was kind of sensitive, but that was more of a friction than a stretch issue, and it got better when I switched to a thicker gel.) It's been out for about 15 minutes and some of the deeper areas still feel like they're getting used to the idea of having something in that deep.

I'm guessing that my MO should be to stick with this size for at least a week until it pops right in and feels comfortable hanging out in there for a bit before I progress to the next size up. (And then use a tapered plug after the last dilator to get to 5" circumference.) Does that sound like a good/safe strategy?

Hey all. I’ve been lurking for a little bit. I’ve read the guides on here and they are really interesting as an anal play enthusiast who’s read many of the standard texts on the subject. Especially the suggestion to focus on the gradual use of dilators over the long term for training rather than “work the plug in over 2 or 3 sessions until it pops in”.

What’s a good plug for someone who has a modest end goal of, say, a plug with a 1 inch diameter neck? Assuming dilators are used for the preceding training/stretching work? Also wearing for short durations, not even daily necessarily. (I just recently realized how big the “Xtra Small” SP Blunt plug is 😆 despite seeing it mentioned frequently here. I’m not looking for anything in that range.)