I need to vent
So, my wife and I have been in the lifestyle off and on for 13 years. We've probably been active 50-75% of that time. We met as singles in the lifestyle and got together. Back in '21, we took a break bc my wife was diagnosed with a terminal illness. It's not going to happen anytime soon, but eventually it will be what kills her. Recently, she asked to get back into it and i agreed.
Once she met someone, everything was going well until she proposed swinging with this guy and his gf. They originally set everything up as hotwife. They were playing for a few weeks when she asked if I would be interested in his gf. I said yes and started speaking with her. We met a few times and had a good time playing on our last meet together. I've also been talking to another woman to play alone with.
During all this, I was in my head about my wife playing and we had some very interesting discussions. At first I had a problem with her frequency of play but I didnt think it would be an issue. Turns out it was for me and I was hot and cold for a few weeks. I suggested we shut it down and It was at this time that my wife stated that she didnt want to go back to vanilla and this is what she is doing. I get she was super frustrated with me and didn't really mean it, but I haven't been able to get that statement out of my head. Fast forward a few more weeks and everything is good and we are both setting up meets.
Over the last week, I forgot to message the first girl and set something up this week and when my wife inquired if I had talked to the first girl. I said no, it had been about 5 days and she got super pissed at me. She accused me of ghosting her and said that her relationship with the girls bf was in danger bc I dropped the ball and this was supposed to be a swinger thing. She then reiterated that she didnt want to go back to vanilla and that I better fix it. I did what she asked and am meeting the woman tonight.
I've just had some issues getting back into things and my wife thinks I tried to tank this relationship on purpose with her play partners gf. My problem is in thr beginning, I had not thought about playing with anyone because previously my wife didnt want me to play with anyone unless she was there participating, which is cool with me. I've never really played by myself before and I was super nervous at first but I think I've settled into it pretty well mentally. I guess im going to have to set a reminder to keep in contact witg these women bc all of this is like work.