u/Distinct_Horror_2104

well i finally took it completely truthfully, not quite sure where it got vanilla from in my answers but everything else is pretty damn accurate.

What is the science behind subspace and sub drop, i somewhat know what it is, but i cant find any articles or forums that actually explain the sciecne behind either as in what happens in the brain that makes you experience it. Can someone explain it to me? I am neuroscientist however hve never dealt in this "realm" of the brain if you will.

What exactly does subspace feel like for yall and could yall describe it? Im a fairly new sub and am still trying to learn stuff here and there so what exactly is subspace besides some sort of numb-ish feeling? I cant tell what is me being in subspace and what is just my body shutting down from a lot of previous trauma ive had(i talk about it in other posts)

So I have some boundaries set with my dom being no tying me to a chair AND gagging me because that was how my r*pists had me tied up for weeks on and off for around a year. (its fine if done seperately) Something that makes me feel absolutely awful is I will sometimes have a panic/anxiety attack in the middle of a scene because of my old trauma, and when that happens my Dom will untie me and comfort me and make sure im ok, but when that happens despite them being so caring and telling me they dont care if it cuts our night short, it makes me feel terrible because it prevents me from always meeting the expectations my Dom has, and I feel like im just not good enough for them because theyre so fucking perfect for me and I love them so so much. It makes me feel sick and like im a terrible sub for ruining such amazing nights all because of something that I cant fix.

TW: Talk of r*pe

Im a trans-lesbian sub and I have a question for you fellow subs

1. When (about what age) and how did yall find out you are a sub

For me it was even without consensual sexual activities and I started thinking about it when I was about to turn 18 a couple years ago. I had ended up in sexual activities before because i was r*ped around 10 times for a couple years, but I dont count those as figuring out youre a sub or anything because you didnt want it. I however, completely disregarding the trauma from my childhood, and completely unprompted, had started thinking just how much I wish for someone to control me and use me as a doll in bed despite never having fucked in a bed before. After I had confirmed it shortly after I turned 18 I had figured out how I adored being used by a harcore Dom, just so long as they provide good aftercare especially after an extremely rough/long scene where I would usually pass out (I found one that will clean me, make sure im in comfortable clothes, and put me in a clean bed. God i love my Dom) and didnt think I was super weird due to old trauma and let me vent to them.

As an introduction, Im trans-lesbian, total bottom/no even remotely switch type thoughts in my brain, im a masochist to a certain degree and adore being used till I pass out from exaustion or till the dom gets too tired, but I do have some questions

1. Is it weird or wrong that I have both a degradation and praise kink? For example I love being degraded most of the way through, but as like an ending or as we wrap things up I love being praised.

2. What are some good ways to explore more sides of bondage?

3. Any nickname reccomendations for my mistress that are similar or have the same levell of authority as mistress that yall use?

4. How do I provide aftercare for my Dom? Im not very good at it currently though the lack of it isnt necessarily hurting our dynamic.

5.Is it normal to just want to pass out at the end of everything even before aftercare just from exaustion? I do still end up with aftercare because of my AMAZING Dom, usually if im out cold for longer than an hour, when I wake up, especially after rougher nights, im all cleaned up and tucked in with pajamas. (I dont think i could ask for a better Dom)