u/Doc_Spooky

After years of failure trying to unravel the mysteries of women I gave up my quest to find the most bodacious babe in existence and became a nomad. My journey eventually led me to a cave along the border of Mongolia and the republic of Altai. It is here that I was taken in by a tribe of primitive women that explained to me their ways in exchange for yard work and back rubs. This tribe of Mongolian primitives taught me the secret of understanding female speech patterns, by wearing a bra on my head the once incomprehensible clicks and whistles of feminine speech were made clear to me! It is this skill that has helped me uncover their greatest secret, the Clandestine Ladies Intimate Taco club otherwise known as the C.L.I.T.

The C.L.I.T. For those who don’t know is a secret club of women from around the world that gather in a hidden location to discuss lady things like the golden girls and vaginas and if the legends are true, any man that finds it gets to make the sex and touch boobies. I’ve also heard stories of a blue raspberry icee machine but so far these are just rumors.

There have been many whispers of the location of the C.L.I.T. hideout, some say the moon, others say it’s inside Fort Knox, and the closest we ever came to finding out was Abraham Lincoln, who claimed it may be inside a dormant volcano but they had him killed before we could know the exact coordinates.

So what is the point of all of this? Ladies, women, XX chromosome havers; I am prepared to offer a sacrifice of brisk linen scented candles, 4 smut books and a large bag of recess peanut butter pumpkins (because they have the most pb) in return you will grant me access to the C.L.I.T. Club where upon entry I allowed one Blue Icee, to touch your dirty pillows and you do not feed me to your serpent god as long as I don’t tell anyone the location of your hideout.

Sound fair? Consult the council and get back to me, I may be able to add some kittens and mozzarella sticks to up my bargain

Thanks in advance.
Doc