Okay I know this gets posted in reverse often and I’ve tried those suggestions… I’ve tried a couple different ways and turn downs have come for a few reasons. Attraction is an obvious one online and in person. The others are red/yellow flags that I need to work on listening to better tbh but they are warning signs that tell me I need to understand the person better. But if there are red/yellow flags and no attraction then I don’t want to continue. I need to have a line somewhere I guess and attraction is much clearer without requiring hours to days to weeks of convo to fairly uncover in some cases.

The flags are more nuanced and i’d rather not discuss those right now. So I’m focusing my question on attraction alone.

I’ve tried being very straight forward and asking for photos early on. My ad mentions it too. With a couple people I just told them thanks for their time etc but they weren’t my type or something to that effect. (This all feels so mean though…and I hate it) and in return I’ve been guilt tripped, berated and even had someone try to convince me I’d be forever unhappy if I let attraction rule my romantic life (this interaction had a bunch of the warning flags too and created a few new ones) and I gave several reasons besides attraction initially. I have fallen into the trap of letting bad behavior go due to a partner’s attractiveness & being in love with them a few times in my life which is a whole other thing I’m working on in therapy…

Anyways ghosting seems like the safest, easiest option which sucks. But I really don’t want to ghost anyone since it’s awful. And I’m also really working on not letting attraction be an end all be-all as it is a scale too. Any suggestions from both sides or people who have a kind way to handle this? Thanks!

There is no greater temple than a woman's body. I love being infatuated with someone and how yearny I get to worship their body and pussy.

I love the feeling of being focused in on her like I'm trying to memorize every inch as if at any moment she could disappear and I need to make sure I never forget every touch, every taste, every sound she makes.

Savoring the touch of her soft skin on my hands. It's not even just the hands I savor every centimeter that her skin touches my skin, every atom is felt, remembered, enjoyed. It's like I'm writing a prayer book with each touch. It's an other wordly experience. Thinking about it later often gets me hard and leaking just like I was during. And I love that it when that happens. I love yearning, and aching to taste her pussy, to give pleasure. It is pleasure to me when I feel that achy need.

I love the feeling of her skin touching mine -- soft, grabbing, spanking, light and tracing down to the honey between her thighs. Teasing and massaging to build her up. The power of giving pleasure -- of extending it -- of building edges over and over and feeling her body writhe and buck against mine. I love watching this, feeling this, giving this and I taking it in. I'm drinking in the feeling deep in my soul, trying to make it merge with my very bering. It's more than just seeing or touching, I need to experience her with every sense!

I love to revel in my power too -- we both have it in different ways. She, a goddess and me, the one giving her devotions. A goddess is stronger from the prayers and devotions she receives and I will make her more powerful than anyone.

I love pausing and looking up at her. The view over her cute wet mound across her stomach is my favorite. And hearing her whine and beg for me to keep going, I'll never get enough of it. I stop with my mouth so I can see her like this -- the delicate, soft woman before me. She is powerful and delicate at the same time. One does not take from the other and they mingle into perfection.

She's so smol now and needs a kiss. Many kisses. Kisses that start at her lips and work their way back down where she can't wait for me to reach.... She's wet, sweaty and full of anticipation for what's to come. She needs more, I know it and I love knowing it. She wants me so badly, and I can't get enough. She needs more. The insatiable more that I am so happy to give her and so pleased that I get to. I love teasing her, bringing her to the edge over and over until she her mind is blank existing only to process pleasure and then finally finishing her (this time, there will be many more finishes for her though).

The feeling of her thighs pressing tighter against my cheeks, her hands grasping at my hair, and pressing me closer, her moans waking up the neighbors... it drives me wild. After she can't move a muscle, she's sensitive and I place my warm hand over her pussy. No touching just soothing warmth and pressure.

I know she needs to be fucked now and cum again and I'm happy to oblige.

And the after... laying in bed, all smiles, making corny jokes she can barely giggle at through glazed eyes, holding her, feeling how spent and satisfied she is. Making sure she has water to drink and maybe a cookie if she needs one. She always deserves a cookie.

Wondering how many dominant-leaning folks here find this kink appealing. And how many sub-leaning folks have it too.

The kink: Accidental or trained physical conditioning

For example -- Where the sub becomes hard, whimpery, leaking just by being near you, being allowed to catch glimpses of your skin, giving massages, hearing you say certain words in a certain tone or seeing certain texts, the perfume you wear, touch that’s sensual but not overtly sexual.

The accidental or unexpected (with consent) nature of the response is also very hot. If it happens to me I’m always so flustered even though I love it. And then very pliant 🥺

Is this sexy or needy or yeanry or what would you even call it? To me it’s at least part yearny. What do you all think about this sort of conditioned response?

Also if anyone has input on describing it better or more succinctly I’d love to hear that too! Thanks!

edit: more inclusive language

I think there are multiple ways a yearning personality comes through but in my mind there is this one feeling that is yearning at its most intense and that's what I'm trying to describe here... It's not something that happens with just anyone though.

To me yearning is something deeply emotional, loving, psychological and sexual. It's a word I've ascribed to a feeling I've long experienced w certain people across a couple relationships and a few play partners. It always feels like a physical manifestation of many emotions. It really is a physical experience though. It makes my hands tingle, and my head fuzzy, and my chest ache. I simultaneously need to devour and be devoured. Possess and be possessed. Worship, kneel, touch, hold, comfort and be comforted.

It's this overwhelming need to be closer when I'm already close. The closer her lips come to mine the stronger the yearning gets. It’s contagious too and we end up needing to be closer than close. Wrapped up like two octopuses tied in knots. So close, the only way closer would be inside each other. That's when it feels very primal and we grab desperately at each other until we are as close as we can get.

But other times it's silly and aggressively cute like I have this urge to take her, and have her, so much that I want to gobble her right up. Being sweet and silly so my partner giggles while they curl up all smol while I hold them--those moments fill me with even more yearning!

Over the years it's turned into a sort of conditioning kink for me where I love it if the person I yearn for trains my body and mind to yearn at her whim or command. With the slightest of touches, a word, a flash of skin I get so pliant and worshipful.

I'm yearning to yearn like this again but it takes time.