u/FastSuccotash1948

I’m bored in a way that feels medically significant.
Nothing is happening. Nobody is being weird enough. My brain has started chewing on the electrical wiring.

So I am once again opening applications for One Man With a Distinct Vibe

This is digital only because I have a life, responsibilities, and no desire to be identified by a hotel receptionist.

I am intelligent, affectionate, funny, and occasionally possessed by the need to be perceived so intensely that it alters somebody’s sleep schedule.

My hobbies include:

• Very random books (not genre specific)

• badminton

• interpreting delayed replies with the full resources of a federal intelligence agency

• becoming briefly convinced that a stranger is the missing narrative device in my life

I do not need a boyfriend.

I need a \*\*stimulus\*\*. A small, contained psychological event. A man I can open like a suspicious email attachment.

You should be attractive, obviously. I’m not asking for perfection. I’m asking for a face that could make me temporarily abandon my values but not permanently damage my reputation.

Age range: 24-37

Requirements:

• good face

• good brain

• good hands, even though this is online and therefore largely theoretical

• no motivational speaking

• no “alpha male” content

• no opening with a photo of your penis as though I’ve won it in a raffle

• must understand that flirting is a collaborative art form, not a hostage negotiation

I am not looking for peace. I have peace. Peace is boring.

I’m looking for someone who can make me say, “Oh, this is probably not good,” while smiling at my phone in the kitchen.

Sexting game MUST be on point. Mutual obsession is negotiable. Public embarrassment is off the table. Private embarrassment can be discussed.

I am partnered and don’t like discussing it a lot

Please send me a short introduction about you

I’m bored in a way that feels medically significant.
Nothing is happening. Nobody is being weird enough. My brain has started chewing on the electrical wiring.

So I am once again opening applications for **One Man With a Distinct Vibe**.

This is digital only because I have a life, responsibilities, and no desire to be identified by a hotel receptionist.

I am intelligent, affectionate, funny, and occasionally possessed by the need to be perceived so intensely that it alters somebody’s sleep schedule.

My hobbies include:

• making playlists for situations that have not happened

• developing a crush based on one correctly timed sentence

• interpreting delayed replies with the full resources of a federal intelligence agency

• becoming briefly convinced that a stranger is the missing narrative device in my life

I do not need a boyfriend.

I need a **stimulus**. A small, contained psychological event. A man I can open like a suspicious email attachment.

You should be attractive, obviously. I’m not asking for perfection. I’m asking for a face that could make me temporarily abandon my values but not permanently damage my reputation.

Age range: 24-37

Requirements:

• good face

• good brain

• good hands, even though this is online and therefore largely theoretical

• no motivational speaking

• no “alpha male” content

• no opening with a photo of your penis as though I’ve won it in a raffle

• must understand that flirting is a collaborative art form, not a hostage negotiation

I am not looking for peace. I have peace. Peace is boring.

I’m looking for someone who can make me say, “Oh, this is probably not good,” while smiling at my phone in the kitchen.

Sexting game MUST be on point. Mutual obsession is negotiable. Public embarrassment is off the table. Private embarrassment can be discussed.

I am partnered and don’t like discussing it a lot

Please send me a short introduction about you

Hello,

I’m a muslim wanting to eventually marry someone who matches the level of my kinks. Ideally someone over 6 ft and on the leaner side or atleast skinny.

I’d prefer to discuss my kinks in private once I’ve spoken to you, as some of them are a bit intense

I cannot negotiate on your english typing / speaking skills as I absolutely cannot stand improper language or the risk of being not understood or misunderstood.

Dms are open please feel free to message me with a small introduction.

25 and above only please.

I’m bored in a way that feels medically significant.
Nothing is happening. Nobody is being weird enough. My brain has started chewing on the electrical wiring.

So I am once again opening applications for One Man With a Distinct Vibe

I am a partnered woman just to put it out there so I am not single

My hobbies include:

• making playlists for situations that have not happened

• developing a crush based on one correctly timed sentence

• interpreting delayed replies with the full resources of a federal intelligence agency

• becoming briefly convinced that a stranger is the missing narrative device in my life

I do not need a boyfriend.

I need a stimulus. A small, contained psychological event. A man I can open like a suspicious email attachment.

You should be attractive, obviously. I’m not asking for perfection. I’m asking for a face that could make me temporarily abandon my values but not permanently damage my reputation.

Age range: 24-39

Requirements:

• good face

• good brain

• good hands, even though this is online and therefore largely theoretical

• no motivational speaking

• no “alpha male” content

• no opening with a photo of your penis as though I’ve won it in a raffle

• must understand that flirting is a collaborative art form, not a hostage negotiation

I am not looking for peace. I have peace. Peace is boring.

I’m looking for someone who can make me say, “Oh, this is probably not good,” while smiling at my phone in the kitchen.

Sexting game MUST be on point. Mutual obsession is negotiable. Public embarrassment is off the table. Private embarrassment can be discussed.

To apply, send any of these:

– the most incriminating thing about your personality

– a photo where you look suspiciously employable

– one sentence that would make me cancel the rest of my evening

I’m bored in a way that feels medically significant.
Nothing is happening. Nobody is being weird enough. My brain has started chewing on the electrical wiring.

So I am once again opening applications for **One Man With a Distinct Vibe**.

My hobbies include:

• making playlists for situations that have not happened

• developing a crush based on one correctly timed sentence

• interpreting delayed replies with the full resources of a federal intelligence agency

• becoming briefly convinced that a stranger is the missing narrative device in my life

I do not need a boyfriend.

I need a **stimulus**. A small, contained psychological event. A man I can open like a suspicious email attachment.

You should be attractive, obviously. I’m not asking for perfection. I’m asking for a face that could make me temporarily abandon my values but not permanently damage my reputation.

Age range: 27–45.

Requirements:

• good face

• good brain

• good hands, even though this is online and therefore largely theoretical

• no motivational speaking

• no “alpha male” content

• no opening with a photo of your penis as though I’ve won it in a raffle

• must understand that flirting is a collaborative art form, not a hostage negotiation

I am not looking for peace. I have peace. Peace is boring.

I’m looking for someone who can make me say, “Oh, this is probably not good,” while smiling at my phone in the kitchen.

Sexting game MUST be on point. Mutual obsession is negotiable. Public embarrassment is off the table. Private embarrassment can be discussed.

To apply, send any of these:

– the most incriminating thing about your personality

– a photo where you look suspiciously employable

– one sentence that would make me cancel the rest of my evening