u/General-Resort818

What according to you is submission. Is it about touching feet, taking orders, punishment and all that? i had a moment few years ago that happened during a simple drive back after dinner. I had a horrible week work pressure, family expectations, constant mental exhaustion . But I still spent the evening trying to act normal, making conversation, opening doors for her, doing all the “good sub” things properly.

But while sitting in traffic on the way back, I just went quiet. Not angry quiet....Drained quiet. She noticed immediately and said, Stop performing for 10 minutes. You don’t always have to earn attention as a sub. Hearing that from her broke my usual guard down.The crazy part is she had to leave the country a few months later, and ever since then I keep replaying that small moment more than any intense session or fantasy. I think because for once someone noticed I was emotionally tired without me having to explain it. Indian men especially will understand this ,sometimes life makes you feel valued only when you’re useful... So when someone sees beyond that, it hits differently. Funny how the smallest moments are the ones you end up missing the most. Has anyone else had a non sexual moment in a that stayed with you for a long time?

What according to you is submission. Is it about touching feet, taking orders, punishment and all that? i had a moment few years ago that happened during a simple drive back after dinner. I had a horrible week work pressure, family expectations, constant mental exhaustion . But I still spent the evening trying to act normal, making conversation, opening doors for her, doing all the “good sub” things properly.

But while sitting in traffic on the way back, I just went quiet. Not angry quiet....Drained quiet. She noticed immediately and said, Stop performing for 10 minutes. You don’t always have to earn attention as a sub. Hearing that from her broke my usual guard down.The crazy part is she had to leave the country a few months later, and ever since then I keep replaying that small moment more than any intense session or fantasy. I think because for once someone noticed I was emotionally tired without me having to explain it. Indian men especially will understand this ,sometimes life makes you feel valued only when you’re useful... So when someone sees beyond that, it hits differently. Funny how the smallest moments are the ones you end up missing the most. Has anyone else had a non sexual moment in a that stayed with you for a long time?

When i was introduced to femdom..I used to think domination was about commands, punishment, collars, all the obvious stuff. But the older I got I realised the strongest domination I’ve experienced has been completely mental. A woman(also my collegue at that time) texted me “behave yourself today” before I left for work. That was it. Nothing explicit. No scene. No instructions after that. And somehow that sentence sat in my head the entire day.I was checking my phone like an idiot during meetings hoping she’d text again. I caught myself fixing my posture at my desk because I knew she liked discipline. Even getting praised later with a simple “good boy” felt embarrassingly rewarding. Sometimes it’s just a woman understanding your mind well enough that her approval quietly starts controlling your behaviour without her even trying too hard. Honestly, I think mature submission becomes less physical over time and far more psychological. Anticipation, attention, tone, silence… those things hit harder than punishment ever has for me. And the craziest part is nobody around you notices it happening. You just look like a normal composed man while internally one woman has completely occupied space in your head.

A domme once made me read out a menu to her while she leaned back comfortably and listened. Halfway through, the waitress arrived at our table and I instinctively stopped talking.The domme looked up at me calmly and said, “Continue. Don’t get shy now, dumbfuck.The waitress tried not to react but still giggled a little.I don’t think I’ve ever felt humiliation hit me that quickly in public before.

Curious if others here feel the same way what’s the most subtle thing a domme did that completely stayed made you go crazy for her dominance?

I know I’m going to get judged for this, but I’d rather hear honest takes than pretend it didn’t happen. So I met this woman from fetlife. She works in event management, not someone who identifies as a Hardcore domme, but there was enough for me to lean into it. We decided to meet, and somewhere in my head I had already built this up into something more than it was.From the start, she tried to test my submissiveness. The questions were… average. Nothing that really showed depth or understanding. But I didn’t question it. That’s probably where I went wrong.I was too ready to believe or desperate to be honest. At one point, she gave me a name...a sissy name infact.. Ramya. Said that’s who I’d be for the day. And I just accepted it. I slipped into it way too easily, like I was waiting for someone to tell me who to be.We were sitting there, having coffee, and on the surface it looked like any normal meeting. But internally, I was trying to feel something more some kind of control, tension, presence. It just wasn’t landing. Her dominance felt… put on. Like lines she had learned rather than something she owned. And then she casually mentioned how she got into this. Some guy who used to give her gifts, introduced her to femdom, and she liked it enough to continue...That’s when it clicked for me.I had walked in hoping for something real, or at least something intentional. But for her, it felt like a role she could step into when it suited her. And I had already given too much of myself to that idea.The uncomfortable part? Even after realizing it, a part of me still wanted to stay in it. That’s what the submissive urge does it just quietly pulls you in until you’re already invested...and later you hate your self for it..

I know I shouldn’t treat women like they exist to fulfill a kink. I get that. But I also can’t ignore how strong that need for connection gets sometimes, So yeah tell me straight...Where did I lose the plot? i think i know anyway... And more importantly, how do you stop yourself from giving in too fast when that headspace thing hits...