u/Goddess_IvyRose

Hey everyone! I am very new in the findom community. Although I have done my fair share of research, I am a total overthinker 🙈
I like to be in (financial) control of my subs and make them more and more submissive for me 🤭 to be honest I am very new even when it comes to being a dom. I used to have fantasies about it a lot and always wanted to try it but until the beginning of the year I really didn’t have any experience myself.
I wonder if there are subs who don’t mind if I explore more of what I like and don’t like and where I would draw the line?
My first sub came to me very unexpectedly and to be honest it was the best experience I could’ve asked for. At the same time I really started to enjoy being in control over him and hearing him beg to even send me money or gifts (yes, sometimes I would even edge him when he wanted to send something to me) 🤭
However I wonder if what I’m into is even financial domination or domination itself? 😩
I am a very gentle dom and so far I’m not sure if maybe I am too gentle for findom and if there are even subs who are into the gentle domination I like to give because it’s not mostly about the money for me 🤔 so I’m wondering if I need to build my profile for findom or femdom?
At the same time I saw many posts recently about subs wanting a quick session? But I am someone who want to build a real connection with my sub slowly and explore together while having honest and clear communication with one another?
Idk I’m just overthinking a lot because I can barely even make any connections with dommes on here as well and I guess I just want to build more connections in this space and find out more about how dominant I can be 🥹🙈

I always wanted to try femdom and always felt really excited and having fantasies about making men submit to me 🤭
Beginning of the year I met a sugar daddy online who wanted to spoil me & I tried my luck with him. Told him my boundaries and that I like when men submit to me. I was lucky because that was just what he was into and also wanted to try out being a sub! 😻 I only talked to him online since we lived in different countries and weren’t able to meet up but we often sexted and I would just let my fantasy run wild. Even edging and denying him from across the world! It felt amazing 😻 and while I was trying myself out I realized I am more of a gentle dom? Degrading someone is really something that doesn’t come easy to me. I would more so work with praise and a reward system. Once he send me a bunch of money and a gold bracelet to my home and I send him feet pics as a reward 🤭 through this I thought that maybe I’m just into findom? 🤔 but to be honest, being new to all of this and being autistic just confuses me what the right space for me is 🙈 I’m not sure if I want to interact with someone one on one. Though I think if I’m comfortable with someone I would 🤔
Talking to someone first and building a connection and trust is just important to me before I even start sexting. I never tried out any of the fantasies I have in real life. Only through text so far and still, even that felt amazing and empowering.

Can you help me out? Do I belong more into the findom or femdom space? 😩

I recently made this account because I really want to get into findom more.
What I like about findom is how empowering it feels to me and tbh I think I would like to interact and talk to my subs.
So far I only had one sub and he also became my boyfriend. He introduced himself as a sugar daddy to me but he was so so so submissive for me I really loved it 😻 through him I found out about findom and researched a lot more before considering to give it a try myself. So far I haven’t been approached by anyone and I don’t mind, cause I know it can take a while to find real subs and for them to find me.
But when I see other dommes online I wonder if I would be too kind? Would anyone even become my finsub? Don’t get me wrong, I like to be firm and in control. And I consider myself more of a gentle domme. I don’t like to degrade, I like the notion of praise a lot more. Calling someone a “good boy” really does something to me too 🤭
I have always been someone that motivates others and people would often tell me I’m too naive or too kind to people. When I have subs that I feel comfortable with and worship me and are so generous with me I want to give back too. It’s just how I am. I would like to get to know my subs too. What they’re into and what they dislike. Even what their dreams and fears are. I want to be a findom that can elevate my subs to become a better version of themselves too. Give honest advice and opinion when they struggle or are unsure and not confident about something. I am someone who believes in lifting others up. But I guess I don’t wanna do it for free anymore and also live out my own fantasy and desire to make my subs submit to me more and only want to worship me more. 🤭
To be honest I just think I should get payed for emotional labor in general lol.
I don’t know… I feel like I rambled a lot. But what do you think? Am I maybe too kind for findom or to be a domme in general? Is there something I should look into instead? I would really appreciate any advice or honest thoughts about this 🥺🙈