u/HappyModernMarriage

I have mentioned here before that my wife and I are out to our friend; most of our friends have at least met her Lover at this point, and we’ve met many of his. One of our (informal) rules is that our lives don’t stop just because someone might see her kiss him or whatever. Of course, they’re not setting up a stage and fucking for an audience, but they’re not hiding their relationship either.

That idea got tested in a new way this past weekend, when a couple my wife and I have known since college came to spend the holiday with us. Another normal part of our lifestyle is that her Lover spends most of his weekends with us - I move into the guest bedroom and he takes the master bedroom either her. Only this weekend obviously, both couldn’t quite work the same way.

She and I talked about it, and we talked with her Lover, and settled on this: we didn’t want to pause our lives for this. Our friends know our situation and have met her Lover, and we’re not ashamed of being honest about our relationship in our own house. So I recently bought a very nice air mattress, and last weekend I slept in my wife’s office.

I was honestly nervous about being seen this way. I had butterflies in my stomach the entire week before our friends arrived. Turning my cuckold bedroom back into a regular guest room made me weirdly shaky. My wife and I talked a lot.

In the end, it was completely fine - certainly not normal, but fine. I caught some raised eyebrows from our friends when we showed them their room, and again when they went up to bed (I stayed up a little bit longer). Ultimately, it gave us time to normalize our relationship a little bit. The first morning, I woke up early to make scones, and the wife came down just as I was getting started, and we talked for quite a while about everything, life, goals, new books we’re reading, and, naturally, my relationship with my wife. Later in the weekend, the husband and I stayed up playing through my vinyl record collection and drinking bourbon and talking. I know other conversations were had too, when I was busy. So, this was good. Really good.

But wow, seeing my wife pop into the kitchen in a casual, cute sleep shirt, hair tussled from sleep, holding her Lover’s arm, and kissing him as she hands him his coffee, was an emotional moment I will be thinking about for the rest of my life. I could feel our friend’ eyes on me, watching me smile at seeing their kiss, showing my acceptance of our dynamic, was a jolt of painful electricity. I was seen this weekend in new ways, and I think it will have an impact on how I understand myself now. It hurts, but I think it’s the hurt of growing.

So, my wife and I have come out to out close friends (but not family) about our relationship and her Lover. Overall it’s been a positive experience and we are glad to have the freedoms that have come with that decision, but it was a scary and intense thing to do.

It was interesting to me that my wife’s Lover of several years now took longer to be comfortable coming out to his friends. I just assumed that a “normal” male ego and the natural course of “locker room talk” would make make him quick to brag once he knew we weren’t hiding it. But it actually took him a while to be comfortable telling his friends, and he was less open about our arrangement even as he began to open up about it at first.

I recognize that we’re uncommon in being so public, but I’m curious about the bulls here - would you like to be able to brag about the sexy wives you’re satisfying, if it were up to you? Is this something that you prefer to keep private? What’s your ideal level of disclosure?

My wife made me cry a little bit last night, in a really good way, and I thought I’d share. Every now and then, she likes to hold Mulva (as we call my penis) and gently caress her and compliment her. She coos softly that Mulva is dainty and delicate, pretty (even adorable!), and gentle. She giggles as it leaks and praises me for staying soft and limp.

I guess my wife has a coworker whose high-school age son has started getting into “red pill” stuff through his friends, and the coworker has been struggling to guide him back to reality. The coworker doesn’t know about our marriage, but somehow she’s seen my wife as a good role model for a strong woman.

Anyway, my wife brought this up last night and thanked me for not “trying to be some kind of red pill alpha male.” She said that she fell in love with me because I would never push, never try to “be a man” in ways I clearly wasn’t capable of, and instead was eager to follow her lead and honor on her sexuality.

I knew the day she proposed would be the last time Mulva would ever be used for penetration, as we had discussed it extensively over the year before she got down on one knee. And I cried with joy as I said yes to her. But hearing her say, “you’ve never had to be a man to be my perfect husband” last night made me tear up again.

I’m so incredibly lucky to have a wife who honors and celebrates the person I am - far from a traditional man, but still her safe place, her calm port in any storm, the brst friend she returns to after every adventure with her Lover. Soft, eager, loving, and ready to cheer her every step.

I wish we could more fully celebrate PF husbands and partners as models of masculinity without its toxic aspects. But last night I dripped into my wife’s hands and cried into her shoulder as we fell asleep, and it’s all I could ever image a perfect marriage being.