U know what I actually really like this life
Been feeling really down in the dumps lately. For the first time in 2 1/2 years since doing SW full-time, I decided to try having a civvie relationship. Oh & I fell hard. Met this guy through a shared hobby, and he told me that he was partnered & in an open relationship. Come to find out he was married with 4 kids and claimed he & his wife had a don’t ask don’t tell policy 🙄 Made a lot of fake future plans & promises he never kept. Just dragged me on for almost 6 months constantly canceling, and flaking on me last minute.
Love bombing was crazy and intense, fell for it like a sucker. Then once intimacy happened and things started getting real, learned that he is a true dismissive avoidant to the T. Will spare u all the details but got totally heartbroken and I’ve been feeling very salty about it obviously. (also was not a romantic at all no flowers no gifts no nice gestures NOTHING)
Was doing SW during our connection, but when I was with clients, I was always just thinking about him. I’ve been recovering for almost 2 months now since the whole ordeal.
I have this regular that lives on the East Coast and whenever they come into town, they always hit me up so I see them sporadically every couple of months. They are my absolute FAVORITE client. Like totally my type super hot, the sex is great, just everything with him feels sooo good. So he hit me up. He flew into town kinda late, brought me in his room already had room service. It was just so passionate and intense and hot. Literally just blew my mind. Before meeting him, I was feeling depressed, but once I was with him, literally just all the stress and bullshit of the past couple of months just melted away. I woke up this next morning just still feeling the high of the date. It just further justified the fact that I’m not a traditional girl & need to stop playing myself. My clients have always treated me better than my boyfriends. They do WAY more for me that’s for sure & no I’m just talking about $$ but have actually helped me reach and accomplish life goals. Really just want to vent, because I know I’m not the only one who goes through stuff like this.