u/HeadintoTex

(Sorry so long) Older couple, been together awhile. A few months ago I had mentioned the vixen-stag kink I was feeling. She had the usual first responses and said she wasn’t interested, but did kind of play along. Our sex went through the roof in a great way. She started experimenting and admitted to some sexual habits she wouldn’t share before. We have an amazing relationship. Love each other deeply and are attached at the hip when together. I mistakenly thought she might consider the LS. A few weeks later she shut down everything. No fantasy play, no role-play. I fully accepted she is a hard no. Our sex life did, however, get even better. I had, last week, stopped by a LS club to check it out just due to curiosity (she was out of town). I let her know ahead of time. Apparently, when we met up this last weekend, she said she was upset by the visit. I explained that I was just curious, have no interest in any other women (100% true), and just wanted to give it a look. After hearing her being upset about the visit, I agreed not to go again. Then, as of last night, she expressed that all the sex talk (involving us only, no vixen stuff) is stressing her. Now, sex is a problem I guess. This has taken a bad turn and will have a huge negative impact on our future. We shared this by phone because she is out of town. I am hoping she clarifies this when we meet (the comments made me choose to end the call politely with a “love you”) Question is, wtf is going on here? She is an highly intelligent, self confident, independent, accomplished person. We are a total match in our life. Last night’s revelation is a huge red flag. What say you, oh wise one’s?

So I was reading a similar story on Reddit and an idea popped in my head. My wife is very against the vixen role after much discussion but has upped her sexuality within our marriage. She is also against the hotwife roleplay/fantasy play too. All of that is fine with me since it takes two to play. Instead, I thought that maybe I could buy a burner phone and start texting her with a back story that we knew each other years ago and I always had a crush. Keep it safe, no longer live in the area, but not far kind of thing. I would indicate I am choosing to stay anonymous for now, but would love to text from time to time. Stay classy, but with a flirting component. See where it goes. If she gets hot from it, even better. If she shuts it down, perfectly fine. Has anyone here played this game and, if so, how did it go. Serious replies only.

About two months ago my wife and I, together for 14 years, discussed the stag/vixen LS (my idea). She was immediately a hard no, which I said was fine because I wouldn’t want her doing something that made her uncomfortable. Our sex life did rocket up and we developed a playful role-play, fantasy play life in the bedroom. This was really hot and kept things between us energized. Last night she said she is uncomfortable with all of it. It stresses her. No more role-play, fantasy talk or anything. I am fine because again I don’t want her doing anything that makes her uncomfortable. Problem is it was a gut punch to me and I now feel somewhat disconnected and have no interest in being intimate while I process this. There are a lot of things I do for her that make me very uncomfortable, but I know that’s not a justification. I don’t really have interest in spending time together right now but I don’t want to damage our relationship. Thoughts?

Is the reason you are a hard no to hotwifing the fear of opening Pandora’s box? Describe that fear and how do you control it in your daily life? What are ways you think could mitigate it if you did move to the Hotwife role? Since there are many here who made that transition, was this a fear you had? How has it worked out?

Was there a moment with another male, even if it didn’t result in play, that made you so intrigued that you changed your opinion about becoming a Hotwife?

If given the opportunity, would you prefer solo play with your third? Many of you probably can’t answer this publicly, so DM me if you want. What I am trying to figure out is the reasons a wife might want this as opposed to playing together with her stag.

We are in the very beginning phase. Lots of discussion, some games (the hotwife non-cheating Truth or Dare) She remains a hard no, which I fully accept. She does, however, play along and our sex life has never been better. She has expanded her sexual side immensely. Vibrating panties in public. Masturbating for me (which in 16 years was non-existent to me) She has opened up in a way she never could before, so at the very least, that’s a positive development. She has at times said, “baby steps.” To those vixens/hotwives who were adamant that this wasn’t going to happen, how did you move to the plus column?