u/IrritatedButterfly44

(CW for MDLG, but I feel that was implied.)

I don't think my heart can take it. It squeezes every time I'm reminded that I'm her mama, her protector, the one who is responsible for her, the one who loves her more than anything simply because she's my precious baby girl and I am utterly incapable of not adoring her.

I have cried when she's sent me the most innocent little things. "I love you mama" "hi mama" "I miss my mama", the last one makes my heart break.

I have squeezed her tighter in my arms when she's murmured it to me softly, almost overpronouncing each syllable in the sweetest little way, voice full of sleep. I know it means she feels safe, and knowing that makes me ache.

I have heard her whine it out, trembling, as I work my fingers inside her, sounding just pained enough that all of my instincts tell me there's something I need to protect her from, and yet it only makes me want to go harder, faster, until I hear her little breathy moans and feel her thighs clench for me.

My sweet little girl. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. Blood doesn't connect us and yet I feel strongly that something even deeper must. As if from the moment she was born, she was my everything.

(Please read the whole post before commenting!)

I ask because we're in a long distance relationship, and I just got back from a 3 week visit. It was wonderful. She was in littlespace a large portion of our time together because she felt so safe and content with me. Now that we're apart again, though, we're really feeling the distance and when she's little and vulnerable she's been feeling as if her mama left her. It breaks my heart honestly.

What can I do to help her feel safe and less abandoned by her mama while we're still adjusting to being apart again? Believe me, I've had these discussions with her too - but I'm wondering if anyone else in a dynamic like this could offer some of their perspective as to what they do with their Dom or little to feel safe and reassured, so I have more in my toolbelt.

Also, what can I do to cope with my own feelings of heartbreak? I really feel like I've lost my baby. We have an incredibly deep bond as mama/little and sometimes when I'm deep in my role I truly feel like she is my "daughter", my responsibility, someone I need to protect and care for at all costs and I can't believe I had to go back home and leave her like that. It has been taking me out of our online scenes and I've already had to safeword because I couldn't stop crying due to wishing I could actually hold her.

We're closing the gap next year so it isn't forever, but it's very hard in the moment and I just want to be a good Dom and mama for her.

(Please read the whole post before commenting!)

I ask because we're in a long distance relationship, and I just got back from a 3 week visit. It was wonderful. She was in littlespace a large portion of our time together because she felt so safe and content with me. Now that we're apart again, though, we're really feeling the distance and when she's little and vulnerable she's been feeling as if her mama left her. It breaks my heart honestly.

What can I do to help her feel safe and less abandoned by her mama while we're still adjusting to being apart again? Believe me, I've had these discussions with her too - but I'm wondering if anyone else in a dynamic like this could offer some of their perspective as to what they do with their Dom or little to feel safe and reassured, so I have more in my toolbelt.

Also, what can I do to cope with my own feelings of heartbreak? I really feel like I've lost my baby. We have an incredibly deep bond as mama/little and sometimes when I'm deep in my role I truly feel like she is my "daughter", my responsibility, someone I need to protect and care for at all costs and I can't believe I had to go back home and leave her like that. It has been taking me out of our online scenes and I've already had to safeword because I couldn't stop crying due to wishing I could actually hold her.

We're closing the gap next year so it isn't forever, but it's very hard in the moment and I just want to be a good Dom and mama for her.

I have to roll my eyes when I see people giving general advice for Doms and subs where they are exclusively using she/her pronouns for the hypothetical sub and he/him pronouns for the hypothetical Dom. Not only that, but much of it will focus on activities that can only be done with a female sub and/or male Dom.

Sometimes I see people giving this kind of advice out on posts from same-sex couples or straight couples with a female Dominant. It drives me up the wall, seriously.

I also very much dislike how Dommes can often be treated as if they are lesser than male Dominants, as if their dominance is somehow less serious or worthy of respect, or as if being a Domme is another way a woman (AKA sub in some people's minds) can play pretend to service her man.

A lot of this is often more subtle and only really noticeable to me as a lesbian Dom in this space and other BDSM communities, but it makes me feel seriously unwelcome.

Can we do better to call these people out, please?