I love to hike and swim while I'm there plus find someone to take some new modeling pics for me. Then, when the sun goes down, spend some time having lots of sweaty fun
I did some therapy today, not sure why...I should know better, but did, was really tired after, so had a couple of drinks and took a nap. Woke up, really wound up, not really horny but just feeling self destructive. I was either going to cut or fuck. Met this guy leaving some club, so we go to an alley and do things. He then bends me over a railing and when I tell him no, he laughs and says is all good, I'm just a slut and used to it. He finished, laughs, and just left me there. I still hate myself but I know I deserved it.
I'm wondering if guys ever used, disgusted with themselves after a random hookup. I mean, I'm pretty much used to the feelings after a trick, but knowing how guys are always ready, do they ever feel sick or dirty or disgusted with themself or is it the chick is just another piece of meat.
I worked, got with a few guys, so just another normal day. Just later, the f'king demons in my brain started. Hooked up with 3 guys to go to a soccer after party. We partied for a couple of hours, I left, got to my place...cut, drank, smoked some pot, screeamed, cried....nothing made me feel any better. Why the F do I do this shit.
Awhile back, I was walking by a church that has AA meetings, when a bunch of guys and only a couple of females came out. I quickly had a couple of car dates with some guys and found out it was a SA meeting. So, my question is, can us sw's also be sex addicts? Sorry if this is a dumb question, it just got me wondering about myself.