u/KxxxFactor

This is part me glowing with enjoyment and wanting to share it with people who understand, and part advice/AMA for people who may be introducing their vanilla partners to kink/BDSM.

PSA: This is just my experience, it is different in every relationship.

I had experience subbing before, but we didn’t introduce kink in our marriage until about 2 years ago. His default isn’t to be a Dominant person, and I’m both pretty dominant in our day to day life AND a brattty sub who likes CNC, so it felt really weird at first. But he’s discovered ways of being Dominant that feel authentic to him rather than conforming to what is more typical of Doms, and he’s helped me discover some new kinks I didn’t know I had!

On to the part that has me smiling….

We’ve been working on slut training lately - I fight it so hard (can’t help it, my brain won’t give up easy) - but this week he tied me up and kept at it until I gave up and voluntarily called myself a dirty slut and a whore. I watched in the mirror while he fucked me. I gave him a blowjob and made eye contact while his cock poked me in the face.

I’m so shy about sex, oral and masturbation, and being able to explore the slutty side of me has been so freeing - I’m doing things I’ve always been ashamed to do and LOVING it. And I love seeing him so happy when I look him in the eye while gagging on his cock, or send him dirty photos of me masturbating.

What is was like introducing kink to a vanilla marriage - especially with him as a new Dom…

We did a few things differently, but it works for us:

We introduced the dynamic before sorting through all the marriage issues; this probably isn’t usually a good idea, but worked really well for us since 1) I trusted him absolutely when it came to respecting limits and boundaries, 2) some of our issues stemmed from me needing him to take more of a leadership role in our relationship, and 3) it gave us a fun, low pressure place to practice good communication and giving feedback before moving on to more emotionally charged discussions.

Calling him Sir just felt weird for both of us, and spanking and impact play just never felt like “him” - so we don’t use titles (I sometimes call him Mister SparklePants when I’m feeling sassy), and he managed to find even worse punishments than spanking, that he also really enjoys doling out. Clit biting tops the list. (For any Doms reading this who have subs with a clit, you’re welcome…and to all the subs, I’M SORRY!) He also loves watching me squirm and blush while telling him my fantasies.

The result….

Kink and BDSM has helped us feel closer as a couple, and build our communication skills in ways that have helped us outside the bedroom too - it’s also helped remind us that we don’t have to do things the same way as everyone else, it’s about works for us. Having him take the lead in our sex life has helped me practice relaxing and giving up control, and it has also helped build his confidence to take the lead in other areas - and I’ve seen the difference.

Anyways…not looking for advice, just wanted to share, and happy to answer questions in the comments :)

Hey fellow brats - I’m looking for recommendations for bratty kinky movies or TV shows to watch with my HusDom. Unfortunately most of the “traditionally” kinky/BDSM movies just don’t do it for me - we watched Secretary last night and neither of us got into it - it honestly turned into a scene where he made me
keep watching and masturbate to it just because he could; I’m not a Rocky Horror person, and most of what I can find seems more centred around Old Guard-style BDSM, S&M or Dominatrix-focused.

I know 50 Shades is truly a terrible representation, but it actually got me way more turned on than anything else I’ve seen (probably because CNC and manipulation are pretty strong kinks for me, so the unhealthy dynamic, “breaking her in” and ignoring safewords was pretty hot - even though it’s totally not cool in real life).

Honestly the show How to Build a Sex Room was hotter for me than most other kink-centric content!

What am I missing? Even if it’s not specifically kink/BDSM, anything that evokes a brat/tamer type dynamic is fun.