My tastes are shifting to heavy rubber and I’ve acquired a heavy suit and plan to get waders with attached boots.
I’m realizing that my usual cleaning and shining routine (soaking in buckets) is not practical with these larger items, as they don’t fit.
Is the solution to simply get giant buckets? Does anyone have other tips for cleaning and shining drysuits, boots, waders, and other heavy gear? Thanks!
I guess I’m just here to vent. I (32M) get lots of attention on Recon, kinky Instagram, etc., but all anyone wants to do is fuck. For context, I’m into latex and BDSM in general.
I make it very clear in my profiles that I am looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship, and when I reiterate that, people in the gay BDSM community seem genuinely shocked. They often tell me I’m naive or misguided for wanting these things. Sometimes they are also surprised to hear that I have been in love before.
I am relatively successful on vanilla dating apps, and find I relate to people there more, until I open up about my latex kink, which in most cases results in me being swiftly rejected. I feel like I’m developing trauma from dating nice guys and then being rejected for this. Sometimes I’ll put a latex pic on my vanilla dating profiles to avoid this rejection in the first place, but I often feel like it leaves a bad first impression and I take it down.
I just feel caught in the middle and totally misunderstood by both parties. I never thought that being kinky meant I couldn’t fall in love or build something long-term or monogamous, but it seems like there is a widespread assumption in our community that these things are mutually exclusive.
Does anyone relate to this? Does anyone have advice for me?
So the general consensus on this sub is that you should clean your latex completely (i.e., soak it with cleaner/Dawn, and not just rinse it) after each use.
But I follow a lot of rubberists on Instagram, and I very frequently see them post stories about “cleaning days,” where they wash large quantities of rubber in batches.
Is this actually the most common practice, even if it is a bit less “ideal”? Does anyone here do this, and if so, can you describe your cleaning routine?
I’m frustrated by how clumsy I am when I dress up as a gimp. Once I put my gloves on, I have a hard time putting on my wrist cuffs and other accessories. My gloves and the cuffs often get lube on them and it’s hard to grip anything, so I keep slipping around, and it dampens the mood. Any tips?
I (31, M) just had a lovely guy I’ve been seeing swiftly reject me when I told him about my latex fetish. I’m always surprised by how much some people hate it.
I mostly use Hinge and Tinder for dating. I’ve tried using Recon (gay fetish app) but almost no one wants to date there; I often get invited to hookups and orgies instead, which I’m not interested in. I haven’t felt an emotional connection on any of the (very few) Recon dates I’ve managed to set up over the years.
Beyond my latex fetish and general kinkiness, I am a very conventional person. I keep the kinks private, and I’m looking for a romantic, long-term, monogamous relationship.
I feel stuck; too wild for Hinge/Tinder and too mild for Recon. I feel like I’m starting to become traumatized by all the judgment, rejection, and loneliness that I face when trying to date.
Does anyone have advice?
I’m a 30-something-year-old gay guy who happily came out of the closet more than a decade ago … but not completely. My homosexuality is no secret, but my kinks are something that I continue to hide from nearly everyone.
I’ve only shared this part of myself with one close friend, my previous boyfriends, and those in the kink scene. I have a kink Instagram, but I blur my face.
Part of me thinks that this secrecy is totally appropriate. I don’t want to subject people to my kinks without their consent, and I don’t want my coworkers, family members, or fellow parishioners (Episcopalian, very chill) to find out.
But on the other hand, this secrecy weighs on me. It feels like my “coming out” was never totally complete or honest. Kink is as big a part of my sexual identity as my homosexuality (I truly think I was “made this way”).
I’m jealous of the guys who don’t blur their faces in their kink photos. I feel so inhibited and uptight. Dating is hard; when I tell people about my kinks (which are not that crazy, I’m just into leather/latex and general BDSM), it often turns them away. And I think that they can sense my lack of confidence about the subject.
I’ve attempted to make friends in the kink community, but have not been very successful. I am very LTR- and monogamy-oriented and a bit more traditional than many in “the scene.” I haven’t ever felt a strong connection or identification with anyone I’ve met there so far. I feel like I don’t fit in, and it’s lonely.
Have you felt this way before? Do you have advice for me?
I’m a 30-something-year-old gay guy who happily came out of the closet more than a decade ago … but not completely. My homosexuality is no secret, but my kinks are something that I continue to hide from nearly everyone.
I’ve only shared this part of myself with one close friend, my previous boyfriends, and those in the kink scene. I have a kink Instagram, but I blur my face.
Part of me thinks that this secrecy is totally appropriate. I don’t want to subject people to my kinks without their consent, and I don’t want my coworkers, family members, or fellow parishioners (Episcopalian, very chill) to find out.
But on the other hand, this secrecy weighs on me. It feels like my “coming out” was never totally complete or honest. Kink is as big a part of my sexual identity as my homosexuality (I truly think I was “made this way”).
I’m jealous of the guys who don’t blur their faces in their kink photos. I feel so inhibited and uptight. Dating is hard; when I tell people about my kinks (which are not that crazy, I’m just into leather/latex and general BDSM), it often turns them away. And I think that they can sense my lack of confidence about the subject.
I’ve made attempts to make friends in the kink community, but they have not been very successful. I am very LTR- and monogamy-oriented and a bit more traditional than many in “the scene.” I haven’t ever felt a strong connection or identification with anyone I’ve met there so far. I feel like I don’t fit in, and it’s lonely.
Have you felt this way before? Do you have advice for me?
This is a serious question.
As of last year, I have become an “every Sunday” churchgoer within an inclusive and open-minded denomination. But I have no role models who are gay, kinky, and religious.
I don’t really have anyone to talk to about navigating these aspects of my identity. Would love to chat over DM with anyone who’s willing.
Thank you!