Authentic dommes and subs
Constantly showcasing dominance is without question grueling. I wouldn't pretend to know enough to cultivate a counterargument. But I will say being genuine is usually, in a great majority of cases, less laborious than performing dominance.
Being true to one's authentic identity should not take a back seat to our emotional state in a given moment. Expressions and assertion of one's role aren't necessary in proving that these identities exist. They come naturally, or they don't. They come when appropriate, not when coaxed or demanded.
As a submissive, I never feel compelled to prove my identity as submissive without any solicitation from a domme, and a domme should enjoy those same conditions without feeling their perceived identity is in question.
As subs, do we demand attention in the here and now at the cost of a solid, fulfilling future? We shouldn't, but we do. Often to our own detriment.
Women, as dominants, often display subtleties that require a more detail oriented observer to fully realize. Their control over us is not binary. It doesn't turn off and on to accommodate anyone, especially not their submissives. It's a presence that builds. It's a gradual course correction that takes time, not a sudden u-turn.
Being submissive needs to be more active and never passive. Being dominant is usually misunderstood by subs to require constant effort in maintaining "character." Without active submission, you can expect your relationship to fail no matter how good she may be.
Confident domination doesn't need pushing like our submission may be relying on for direction. Instead, it's ever present nature is deeply rooted in a relationships construction. The best of which is unspoken, and maybe unrealized by one or both partners.
It's a gradual process between a domme and sub that involves both parties orbiting a center of gravity where the pull of each is unbalanced. When woven together with submission that is given with deliberate intention, it grows. The end result is a submissive who is useful to his domme and a life of purpose for both of them.
One takes the lead while the other acknowledges its their job to match the energy. This is where it becomes deliberate. Submission is actively giving. Dominance receives, not takes. Submission acts in the interests of another, actively. Dominance accepts and approves and redirects when needed.
Submission actively serves, anticipates, cares for and nurtures, is proactive and reactive, is always on high alert, and eventually acts without hesitation.
Dominance fills the voids left in submissions wake. She corrects the course and trains and exhibits patience for her submissive as he learns his dynamic role in her life. She can be catered to without having to prove herself to him. Bc she is not trying to assimilate to his life, but rather the other way around.
Submission is a gift and should not be given lightly. But when it is given, it should be understood and given fully.
None of this should be mistaken as an excuse for dominants to be passive, lazy, uninterested, or uninvolved. That's counter to the point that interpersonal relationships aren't born and nurtured in "sessions."
"Dominate me" is a demand that sounds to me like "make me laugh." The demand is the very thing that disallows the act that follows, the one being demanded.
My partner gives me more than I could ask for, and that makes me give back more. And she responds by surprising me with even more. So begins the volley of all things virtuous that they will share going forward with sacrifice and compromise, giving part of themselves to create something much larger than they put in.