u/PassionLovr

This is a long rant btw

So lately I’ve been doing so good with triggers. I usually touch myself at least twice a day, more if I’ve been triggered or stressed or just have time. I’ve decided to self impose a rule of not touching everyday Especially if I have homework. And I do mean no touching. None of the excessive casual touching I do with my body, no masturbating, no cumming, no porn, nothing nada. I’ve gone 3 days dry turkey with nothing but meditation, breathing exercises, and night walks lol.

Some important info, I’m definitely a sub, maybe a switch, I haven’t explored that, but definitely submissive. I get in the loveliest headspace with the right triggers. And unfortunately doctor’s visits tend to check every box. It’s just something about the casualness of being touched, being given orders, handing over some control, and the calming voice a lot of doctors, dentist, etc, have. I’m sorry but a lot of doctors would make great soft doms lol.

Now usually, im ok, I just don’t be weird and focus on my health because, well, they’re just doing their job and I’m just trying to figure out why I have a toothache.

Today I had a visit to get some new glasses and check my eyes. All good. Except my body is haywire and looking for any outlet for all the horny energy.

Doctor walks into the room, greetings and whatever, guy talks in a low calm voice. He lowers the light. Only lighting on is a warm tone lamp in the corner. He talks even quieter now. Mood and voice ✅Walks up to me, and starts adjusting those devices so he check my eyes. Starts giving me orders, ✅. Then the praise starts “tilt your head more, mhmm just like that”, “put your chin here, good”, “sit back more, theree youu goo,”. ✅✅✅. My god it wasn’t even full on praise but it definitely did it for me. I completely dropped. Smashed on the pavement. He had to ask me a couple of times to read the lines of letters, I was just too gone.

What’s really embarrassing was how after the tests, we’re going over some eye scans and stuff and he was just praising me for having healthy eyes. Telling how I did good during the scans earlier, “You’re a natural”, how I gave him some really clear photos, my nerves look really good and healthy, and my prescription hasn’t changed and I’ve done so well, Y’all I sat there like an idiot when it was time to get up to leave. He just standing by the door and I’m just sitting and smiling like an idiot.

Even when we were done I hadn’t come back up yet. My head was all fuzzy and I just felt so warm and heavy, felt like I just ate a big homecooked meal over Christmas break. Felt like I was touched all over in the best way. I don’t even remember what snapped me out of it just know I stared at a pair of ugly frames for like 5 mins to catch my bearings.

Anyways I just needed to write this out because I can’t get any work done and I just can’t stop thinking about it, I’m definitely relapsing tonight and never going cold turkey again because as horny as I am that was the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m cheesing over optic nerve compliments wtf. But I also know what’s going into the search bar tonight. Also sorry to any doctors, especially mine….

F22 idk why but my needs are really heightened whenever I’m nervous, anxious, or stressed, and considering I have a anxiety disorder I feel like more often then not I’m wasting so much time masturbating .

I was doing so good for a while. Like getting out of bed and staying calm. Actually being useful with my day. But with the next semester starting and just stress from family and friends, I had a bad anxiety attack and an even worse relapse.

Have barely left my room and two days, just had multiple tabs open and locked my door. I was suppose to meet with a counselor today to test out of some math and pick my classes which start in august mind you, and I haven’t even done that.

Genuinely frustrated because it seems so easy. All I had to do was close my legs and get up. And now I might have to wait a week to pick classes that might be filled now.

Even typing this all out is making me more anxious and I want to go back to bed.

Does anyone else find themselves more triggered with stress and anxiety. I try to listen to music and meditate, even have a drink. But I just get so anxious and scared that nothing really makes those feeling go away except for when I finally give in…

This is long

I’m looking for an online relationship that can become in person. I don’t have much experience with dating (except one early college relationship) I swore off relationships but…

I can’t get that moment my brain was turned off out of my head. I have adhd and anxiety. Definitely on the spectrum. I stimm alot. My brain is topic hopping all the time. But once I had a hand around my throat and he told me to be quiet, god, I swear everything went quiet. I just sat there like a dumb doll waiting for the next order. I remember not knowing where to put my hands but looking back I was waiting for him to tell me.

All that is a bit tmi but it’s the best example of where my mind is going with this just incase we both get a bit lost 😅. Let me try to get us back on track..

Hiiii! 22f looking for a relationship and connection. I don’t want just a fling. Looking for something that will grow and last with another person.
I don’t think I can do without a connection so here’s A little bit about me:

I’m 5’4 and petite (about 110 last time I checked). Have a cute ass (that I’m working on getting fatter) and pretty lips or so I’ve been told. I’m black so if that’s a deal breaker you suck and I hope you stub your toe.

I’m an avid gamer. Playing overwatch and marvel rivals rn, fav game is bioshock, and once I get a pc up and running it’s back to steam for some lfd, tf2, and some other fps games. I’m into detective shows. Love Columbo and Criminal minds. Love to read. Yes I do read the classic sexy romances with the ceos and y/ns and but I’m also an intellectual too and love sci-fi books. Also love a good conversation! I’m very self aware, so please don’t be afraid to pick my brain. I have a dumb sense of humor and love to laugh and not ashamed of my laugh lines.

Don’t worry I like going outside as-well. Love walks where I can just think. I’m in my head quite a lot, which is probably my biggest problem. I also roller skate and I’m actually trying to learn how to rollerblade. Currently trying new recipes and destroying my kitchen less with each one. I love trying new foods and will try anything once 😉. Avid cat mama and pet parents will be priority, no one understands the struggle of pet hair like us.

I’m looking for anyone, not picky about body types, while I am attracted big sturdy guys, and curvy girls or Nbs, I’m not into people who are too heavy-set, sorry. Any race is fine but for age only 20-30, will consider older but y’all tend to want to move fast af lol. I do not want to move in next week 😅) we don’t have to share the same ideas about everything but I’m a leftist.

Onto some kinks/fantasies- I’m needy. No seriously. I may be looking more for a pleasure dom/sadist because I need to be touched, licked, sucked, bitten, and I want it to feel good…too good. I want to be addicted to orgasms, to feeling good, and I want you and only you to make me feel that way.

I want my brain off. I want to listen and follow. To forget myself and trust you to know me instead I want to be a good girl and take it,a Overstimulated dumb puppy, bitch, slut for Daddy, mommy, your name here, whatever. I also want that afterwards where we Put something on just for background noise and hold eachother while we come down from our highs.

Getting a little carried away let me spell it out before I become more of a mess.

Specifically I’m into: Joi, orgasm control, overstimulation, edging, cnc, freeuse, cumplay (mine and yours), breeding, marking/biting, objectification, and interested in pet play and ddlg but it’s not completely necessary. -Curious about…light raceplay or politics play (I-…just ask me about it), and maybe water-sports ( I have concerns about it myself lol just ask 🥴) , and like I said I’ll try anything once.

no scat, permanent scaring, or anything illegal