u/PinkBiTheWay

I feel like Im already pretty fucked up from past experiences and underlying mental health issues I always had. Having, in total, spent more time on porn than on school or university, more time with my fingers rubbing my needy, wet cunt than being out with friends left me with deranged and perverted kinks that were only amplified by how I lost my virginity when I was raped.

All I do nowadays is fantasize about misogynistic, toxic and abusive men who not just ignore my feelings to get off, but who actually get off on hurting them. Who take pleasure from making my life worse, making me feel more miserable. Who know, like I do, that I am already fucked up but not yet truly broken, not yet living like the filthy, disgusting and worthless piece of trash I really am. My dignity, whats left of it, exists solely to be used to degrade and humiliate me, to make me feel ashamed and embarrassed. Men who know that to abuse me means more than just hitting me and fucking me, that this feeling of powerlessness, dehumanization and shame comes from the mind, not the body.

I crave to know what it is to be truly broken. There are many assholes and misogynists out there, but so far I havent met many who really, truly wanted to make my life as bad as possible. I dont want pity, white knights, sympathy or anyone telling me I need therapy. Keep your "good" advice to yourself, the only thing I want nnow is to be pushed deeper and deeper into that hole of shame, porn addiction, abuse and brokenness. To be made to live like a truly disgusting bitch, amongst trash and filth, living only to serve, get fucked and abused, to be laughed at and to feel embarrassed about who I am. Most men, even those who say "I will abuse you" dont actually do that. I dont want someone who wants to mutually engage in kink play, I want an actually misogynistic incel asshole who hates me and wants to ruin me just for the sake of it.

I feel like Im already pretty fucked up from past experiences and underlying mental health issues I always had. Having, in total, spent more time on porn than on school or university, more time with my fingers rubbing my needy, wet cunt than being out with friends left me with deranged and perverted kinks that were only amplified by how I lost my virginity when I was raped.

All I do nowadays is fantasize about misogynistic, toxic and abusive men who not just ignore my feelings to get off, but who actually get off on hurting them. Who take pleasure from making my life worse, making me feel more miserable. Who know, like I do, that I am already fucked up but not yet truly broken, not yet living like the filthy, disgusting and worthless piece of trash I really am. My dignity, whats left of it, exists solely to be used to degrade and humiliate me, to make me feel ashamed and embarrassed. Men who know that to abuse me means more than just hitting me and fucking me, that this feeling of powerlessness, dehumanization and shame comes from the mind, not the body.

I crave to know what it is to be truly broken. There are many assholes and misogynists out there, but so far I havent met many who really, truly wanted to make my life as bad as possible. I dont want pity, white knights, sympathy or anyone telling me I need therapy. Keep your "good" advice to yourself, the only thing I want nnow is to be pushed deeper and deeper into that hole of shame, porn addiction, abuse and brokenness. To be made to live like a truly disgusting bitch, amongst trash and filth, living only to serve, get fucked and abused, to be laughed at and to feel embarrassed about who I am. Most men, even those who say "I will abuse you" dont actually do that. I dont want someone who wants to mutually engage in kink play, I want an actually misogynistic incel asshole who hates me and wants to ruin me just for the sake of it.

Heyy!

I woke up feeling extremely horny and since I basically need to feel degraded and abused to orgasm at all, I am desperately looking for tasks I can do for you. I get insanely turned on being degraded and humiliated, the more degraded and worthless and dehumanized I feel, the more I get turned on. Even, or maybe especially, being told and made to do stuff I hate, anything I'd never choose to do but have to do just to please you, I need that.

All I do nowadays is fantasize about misogynistic, toxic and abusive men who not just ignore my feelings to get off, but who actually get off on hurting them. Who take pleasure from making my life worse, making me feel more miserable. Who know, like I do, that I am already fucked up but not yet truly broken, not yet living like the filthy, disgusting and worthless piece of trash I really am. My dignity, whats left of it, exists solely to be used to degrade and humiliate me, to make me feel ashamed and embarrassed. Men who know that to abuse me means more than just hitting me and fucking me, that this feeling of powerlessness, dehumanization and shame comes from the mind, not the body.

Im open to a lot and happy to adapt to your kinks, but what gets me off most is being made to do stuff that has real consequences. Whether that is toilet play (piss, scat or more) and similar kinks that are hard to clean up, messing with friendships, involving my clothes, work or uni stuff, intox play, if I know Ill really regret it and still be dealing with it days from now, my pussy just goes from wet to dripping so fast.

I feel like Im already pretty fucked up from past experiences and underlying mental health issues I always had. Having, in total, spent more time on porn than on school or university, more time with my fingers rubbing my needy, wet cunt than being out with friends left me with deranged and perverted kinks that were only amplified by how I lost my virginity when I was raped.

All I do nowadays is fantasize about misogynistic, toxic and abusive men who not just ignore my feelings to get off, but who actually get off on hurting them. Who take pleasure from making my life worse, making me feel more miserable. Who know, like I do, that I am already fucked up but not yet truly broken, not yet living like the filthy, disgusting and worthless piece of trash I really am. My dignity, whats left of it, exists solely to be used to degrade and humiliate me, to make me feel ashamed and embarrassed. Men who know that to abuse me means more than just hitting me and fucking me, that this feeling of powerlessness, dehumanization and shame comes from the mind, not the body.

I crave to know what it is to be truly broken. There are many assholes and misogynists out there, but so far I havent met many who really, truly wanted to make my life as bad as possible. I dont want pity, white knights, sympathy or anyone telling me I need therapy. Keep your "good" advice to yourself, the only thing I want nnow is to be pushed deeper and deeper into that hole of shame, porn addiction, abuse and brokenness. To be made to live like a truly disgusting bitch, amongst trash and filth, living only to serve, get fucked and abused, to be laughed at and to feel embarrassed about who I am.

I want to tell you a story and then hopefully find people to chat with about it.

Before I go on, I want to say that I dont post this to garner pity, or to seek "help" or kind words or anything of the like. I wouldnt be writing on a fetish subreddit if I were, I know youll get off on this story, I hope so at least. I want to please you, i want to help you cum and Im sharing my rape to do that. If you decide to wanna talk with me, please keep that in mind and know that the more you degrade me, the wetter and more subservient I get.

Anyway. Im 22 years old now, all of this happened when I was 19 and to this day, has been my only "full" sexual experience. Ive given blowjobs and handjobs before and since, but havent had real sex.

My best friend and I had planned to go on a holiday together to a house that her family owned for a while, and we finally had everything booked and planned out. A few days before the flight, she had to cancel because of some personal, family matters, and after thinking it through I figured since the flight is already booked, I could just go alone, even if that wouldnt be as fun as together. The whole stay was planned for 10 days, and the first three were great, if a bit lonely.

On the fourth day, I was awoken by the sound of the front door opening and at first I thought she had made it after all. I went down in my sleep clothes, a night shirt and a comfy tanga and was very surprised when I was face to face with her father. I was pretty embarrassed at being dressed in so little, but before I could do more than say "Hi" he crossed the room and threw me on the couch and had my wrists in his hands and literally ripped my shirt off me. I was terrified and tried to scream for help but he hit me in my stomach a few times and that silenced me. I dont remember all the details of the days that followed, but he took my virginity, both my cunt and my asshole on the day he arrived. I begged him to stop and let me go each time he fucked me, I dont even know how often he did but I remember him always cumming inside, always insulting me, verbally abusing me, calling me a whore and a slut, and that I deserve that. He stayed for four days, and he kept me tied up with ropes almost all the time unlless he was using me. He did more than just fuck and abuse my holes too, he forcedme to be his toilet, to lick his ass clean, he hurt my tits and spanked me with hands and kitchen spoons and other stuff.

And I cant even properly put into words how that experience changed me. I was fairly hypersexual before, even though I didnt have Sex, I masturbated a lot and watched porn but that just amplified it so much, especially my submissive side. Not immediately afterwards, for a while I was completely asexual but it returned insanely strongly after a few months and for a while I spent every free minute masturbating, at first trying to push those memories aside, but eventually I just thought about it when I came and gave in and allowed myself to be what I had evidently become, a submissive slut for abuse and humiliation, and I watched more and more misogynistic porn and searched for men to degrade me online to fill that void. Some days i think about messaging him and begging him to use me again, even though I know how stupid that is, but it feels like the only thing that makes me feel whole sometimes.

So I certainly didn't want what happened back then. But I also cannot deny that the memories turn me on immensely and that whenever I think about sex, I think about him to someone similar, or at least similar situations.

I know my best friend did not have anything to do with what her father did, and I have never told her. I am also sure that he never touched her in any similar way.

I am unsure now what to do. On the one hand, I know it'd be insanely stupid to text or call him but on the other hand I also fantasise about it so much that it's kind of impacting my day to day life and I dont feel like I can have a decent relationship or sex life this way either. The thing is, I crave what he did so much, but straight up telling him I want him or how I feel wouldnt be right I think. If he takes me again, Id want him to think I dont want it, so it would have to be something more subtle. Same if I sought relief elsewhere from someone else, CNC, prearranged stuff wouldnt work so well because it wouldnt be real, I want a man who takes what he wants against my will, without caring about what it does to me.

A few things you should know before we talk:

I did not want it. Craving it now doesnt mean I wanted it then. You telling me that I did is a really quick way to let the conversation dry out.

I did not tease him. I did not wear overly slutty or revealing clothes around him. When it was warm, I had less clothes on, like everyone else. If me and my best friend used their pool, we had a bikini on, so naturally that was not concealing my body, but it also wasnt in any way slutty. Yes, I wasnt wearing much when he came to the vacation house, but so did everyone else in the vicinity at around 40°C, especially if they were at a beach house like me. So telling me that my clothes are at fault for what happened and that I should have known better. - quick way to let the conversation dry out

I had orgasms, but again, that does not mean that I wanted it or loved it. I couldnt help it. I dont resent my body for it, and in hindsight it is hot that I came, but it still doesnt mean anything about how much I did or did not enjoy what he did at the time.

Also, if you are asking me questions and then contradicting my answer or not believing me, save your time, thats really not worth it. I am happy to answer questions, and to be degraded, but if you simply not believe me to be honest and truthful, or you think you know better what I feel and think, just leave it.

And lastly, do not insult my intelligence. I am smart, and educated and aware of it. Its fine to call me a stupid slut or a dumb whore, but dont make the mistake of thinking I am actually unintelligent.

I feel like Im already pretty fucked up from past experiences and underlying mental health issues I always had. Having, in total, spent more time on porn than on school or university, more time with my fingers rubbing my needy, wet cunt than being out with friends left me with deranged and perverted kinks that were only amplified by how I lost my virginity when I was raped.

All I do nowadays is fantasize about misogynistic, toxic and abusive men who not just ignore my feelings to get off, but who actually get off on hurting them. Who take pleasure from making my life worse, making me feel more miserable. Who know, like I do, that I am already fucked up but not yet truly broken, not yet living like the filthy, disgusting and worthless piece of trash I really am. My dignity, whats left of it, exists solely to be used to degrade and humiliate me, to make me feel ashamed and embarrassed. Men who know that to abuse me means more than just hitting me and fucking me, that this feeling of powerlessness, dehumanization and shame comes from the mind, not the body.

I crave to know what it is to be truly broken. There are many assholes and misogynists out there, but so far I havent met many who really, truly wanted to make my life as bad as possible. I dont want pity, white knights, sympathy or anyone telling me I need therapy. Keep your "good" advice to yourself, the only thing I want nnow is to be pushed deeper and deeper into that hole of shame, porn addiction, abuse and brokenness. To be made to live like a truly disgusting bitch, amongst trash and filth, living only to serve, get fucked and abused, to be laughed at and to feel embarrassed about who I am.

I feel like Im already pretty fucked up from past experiences and underlying mental health issues I always had. Having, in total, spent more time on porn than on school or university, more time with my fingers rubbing my needy, wet cunt than being out with friends left me with deranged and perverted kinks that were only amplified by how I lost my virginity when I was raped.

All I do nowadays is fantasize about misogynistic, toxic and abusive men who not just ignore my feelings to get off, but who actually get off on hurting them. Who take pleasure from making my life worse, making me feel more miserable. Who know, like I do, that I am already fucked up but not yet truly broken, not yet living like the filthy, disgusting and worthless piece of trash I really am. My dignity, whats left of it, exists solely to be used to degrade and humiliate me, to make me feel ashamed and embarrassed. Men who know that to abuse me means more than just hitting me and fucking me, that this feeling of powerlessness, dehumanization and shame comes from the mind, not the body.

I crave to know what it is to be truly broken. There are many assholes and misogynists out there, but so far I havent met many who really, truly wanted to make my life as bad as possible. I dont want pity, white knights, sympathy or anyone telling me I need therapy. Keep your "good" advice to yourself, the only thing I want nnow is to be pushed deeper and deeper into that hole of shame, porn addiction, abuse and brokenness. To be made to live like a truly disgusting bitch, amongst trash and filth, living only to serve, get fucked and abused, to be laughed at and to feel embarrassed about who I am.

Lately I feel so consumed by the memory of how I was kept and repeatedly forced that I can barely concentrate about anything else. Thinking about what he did to me, how he came inside me, how he was the first guy I ever fucked and that I trusted him, trusted the father of my best friend.

Im so torn between what my head says, and what my pussy wants and needs. Wanting more abuse and more trauma even though I know its stupid.

Not entirely sure what I am looking for by posting here, I guess several things. It gets me so wet knowing people get off to my trauma, asking me invasive questions, degrading and humiliating me, treating me like absolute dirt. Maybe encouragement on how to go forward. Definitely not looking for pity or anyone feeling sorry for me, Ive somewhat accepted what happened and Id much rather you enjoy my trauma than feel bad for me because of it.

I just generally also feel like I only am in my rightful place when I am being degraded, insulted and abused. Not just by him, and not just in as grand or extreme ways. Also generally misogynistic behaviour towards me, I get so wet when I get rape threats, when I get catcalled, even the few times I got groped on public transport or when men just openly stare at my tits or ass.. I feel like the less Im treated with respect, the more I feel right and where Im supposed to be. So please, be mean, be cruel, be toxic. Please help me fuck myself up more, just because it makes me wet and you horny.

If you want to know the details of what happened, have a look on my past posts

Heyy!

Ive been horny since I woke up hours ago and I pretty much spent my day gooning and rubbing my cunt to degenerate porn but its not enough.. I basically need to feel degraded and abused to orgasm at all, I am desperately looking for tasks I can do for you. I get insanely turned on being degraded and humiliated, the more degraded and worthless and dehumanized I feel, the more I get turned on. Even, or maybe especially, being told and made to do stuff I hate, anything I'd never choose to do but have to do just to please you, I need that.

Im open to a lot and happy to adapt to your kinks, but what gets me off most is being made to do stuff that has real consequences. Whether that is toilet play (piss, scat or more) and similar kinks that are hard to clean up, messing with friendships, involving my clothes, work or uni stuff, intox play, if I know Ill really regret it and still be dealing with it days from now, my pussy just goes from wet to dripping so fast.

To be clear, I dont want you to ask if im fine with something, I want you to dominate me and abuse me and force me to do your bidding.

Lately I feel so consumed by the memory of how I was kept and repeatedly forced that I can barely concentrate about anything else. Thinking about what he did to me, how he came inside me, how he was the first guy I ever fucked and that I trusted him, trusted the father of my best friend.

Im so torn between what my head says, and what my pussy wants and needs. Wanting more abuse and more trauma even though I know its stupid.

Not entirely sure what I am looking for by posting here, I guess several things. It gets me so wet knowing people get off to my trauma, asking me invasive questions, degrading and humiliating me, treating me like absolute dirt. Maybe encouragement on how to go forward. Definitely not looking for pity or anyone feeling sorry for me, Ive somewhat accepted what happened and Id much rather you enjoy my trauma than feel bad for me because of it.

I just generally also feel like I only am in my rightful place when I am being degraded, insulted and abused. Not just by him, and not just in as grand or extreme ways. Also generally misogynistic behaviour towards me, I get so wet when I get rape threats, when I get catcalled, even the few times I got groped on public transport or when men just openly stare at my tits or ass.. I feel like the less Im treated with respect, the more I feel right and where Im supposed to be. So please, be mean, be cruel, be toxic. Please help me fuck myself up more, just because it makes me wet and you horny.

If you want to know the details of what happened, have a look on my past posts

Heyy!

I woke up feeling extremely horny and since I basically need to feel degraded and abused to orgasm at all, I am desperately looking for tasks I can do for you. I get insanely turned on being degraded and humiliated, the more degraded and worthless and dehumanized I feel, the more I get turned on. Even, or maybe especially, being told and made to do stuff I hate, anything I'd never choose to do but have to do just to please you, I need that.

Im open to a lot and happy to adapt to your kinks, but what gets me off most is being made to do stuff that has real consequences. Whether that is toilet play (piss, scat or more) and similar kinks that are hard to clean up, messing with friendships, involving my clothes, work or uni stuff, intox play, if I know Ill really regret it and still be dealing with it days from now, my pussy just goes from wet to dripping so fast.

To be clear, I dont want you to ask if im fine with something, I want you to dominate me and abuse me and force me to do your bidding.

I want to tell you a story and then hopefully find people to chat with about it.

Before I go on, I want to say that I dont post this to garner pity, or to seek "help" or kind words or anything of the like. I wouldnt be writing on a fetish subreddit if I were, I know youll get off on this story, I hope so at least. I want to please you, i want to help you cum and Im sharing my rape to do that. If you decide to wanna talk with me, please keep that in mind and know that the more you degrade me, the wetter and more subservient I get.

Anyway. Im 22 years old now, all of this happened when I was 19 and to this day, has been my only "full" sexual experience. Ive given blowjobs and handjobs before and since, but havent had real sex.

My best friend and I had planned to go on a holiday together to a house that her family owned for a while, and we finally had everything booked and planned out. A few days before the flight, she had to cancel because of some personal, family matters, and after thinking it through I figured since the flight is already booked, I could just go alone, even if that wouldnt be as fun as together. The whole stay was planned for 10 days, and the first three were great, if a bit lonely.

On the fourth day, I was awoken by the sound of the front door opening and at first I thought she had made it after all. I went down in my sleep clothes, a night shirt and a comfy tanga and was very surprised when I was face to face with her father. I was pretty embarrassed at being dressed in so little, but before I could do more than say "Hi" he crossed the room and threw me on the couch and had my wrists in his hands and literally ripped my shirt off me. I was terrified and tried to scream for help but he hit me in my stomach a few times and that silenced me. I dont remember all the details of the days that followed, but he took my virginity, both my cunt and my asshole on the day he arrived. I begged him to stop and let me go each time he fucked me, I dont even know how often he did but I remember him always cumming inside, always insulting me, verbally abusing me, calling me a whore and a slut, and that I deserve that. He stayed for four days, and he kept me tied up with ropes almost all the time unlless he was using me. He did more than just fuck and abuse my holes too, he forcedme to be his toilet, to lick his ass clean, he hurt my tits and spanked me with hands and kitchen spoons and other stuff.

And I cant even properly put into words how that experience changed me. I was fairly hypersexual before, even though I didnt have Sex, I masturbated a lot and watched porn but that just amplified it so much, especially my submissive side. Not immediately afterwards, for a while I was completely asexual but it returned insanely strongly after a few months and for a while I spent every free minute masturbating, at first trying to push those memories aside, but eventually I just thought about it when I came and gave in and allowed myself to be what I had evidently become, a submissive slut for abuse and humiliation, and I watched more and more misogynistic porn and searched for men to degrade me online to fill that void. Some days i think about messaging him and begging him to use me again, even though I know how stupid that is, but it feels like the only thing that makes me feel whole sometimes.

So I certainly didn't want what happened back then. But I also cannot deny that the memories turn me on immensely and that whenever I think about sex, I think about him to someone similar, or at least similar situations.

I know my best friend did not have anything to do with what her father did, and I have never told her. I am also sure that he never touched her in any similar way.

I am unsure now what to do. On the one hand, I know it'd be insanely stupid to text or call him but on the other hand I also fantasise about it so much that it's kind of impacting my day to day life and I dont feel like I can have a decent relationship or sex life this way either. The thing is, I crave what he did so much, but straight up telling him I want him or how I feel wouldnt be right I think. If he takes me again, Id want him to think I dont want it, so it would have to be something more subtle. Same if I sought relief elsewhere from someone else, CNC, prearranged stuff wouldnt work so well because it wouldnt be real, I want a man who takes what he wants against my will, without caring about what it does to me.

A few things you should know before we talk:

I did not want it. Craving it now doesnt mean I wanted it then. You telling me that I did is a really quick way to let the conversation dry out.

I did not tease him. I did not wear overly slutty or revealing clothes around him. When it was warm, I had less clothes on, like everyone else. If me and my best friend used their pool, we had a bikini on, so naturally that was not concealing my body, but it also wasnt in any way slutty. Yes, I wasnt wearing much when he came to the vacation house, but so did everyone else in the vicinity at around 40°C, especially if they were at a beach house like me. So telling me that my clothes are at fault for what happened and that I should have known better. - quick way to let the conversation dry out

I had orgasms, but again, that does not mean that I wanted it or loved it. I couldnt help it. I dont resent my body for it, and in hindsight it is hot that I came, but it still doesnt mean anything about how much I did or did not enjoy what he did at the time.

Also, if you are asking me questions and then contradicting my answer or not believing me, save your time, thats really not worth it. I am happy to answer questions, and to be degraded, but if you simply not believe me to be honest and truthful, or you think you know better what I feel and think, just leave it.

And lastly, do not insult my intelligence. I am smart, and educated and aware of it. Its fine to call me a stupid slut or a dumb whore, but dont make the mistake of thinking I am actually unintelligent.

Hey ihr, ich suche mal Leute zum Chatten. Nicht so richtig roleplay, mehr zusammen Szenarien ausmalen, die passieren könnten. Die Szenarien dürfen gerne extremer werden, vor allem Erniedrigung meinerseits sollte im Vordergrund stehen. Das Ganze ist offensichtlich sowieso nicht so richtig consensual, aber kann auch gerne sehr doll non-con werden.

Aber erstmal das Setting für die Szenarien: Ich, 22 Jahre alt und Studentin, bin vor einigen Monaten in eine Wohnung gezogen. Ich wohne jetzt alleine, der Vermieter wirkte ein bisschen komisch aber das ist ja nicht allzu außergewöhnlich. Neben Studium und Teilzeit-Arbeit verbringe ich viel Zeit zuhause, entweder am PC, beim Workout, lernen oder wenn ich Freunde einlade. Und wenn ich alleine zuhaus bin, vor allem wenn es so warm wie die letzten Monate ist, dann bin ich gerne auch mal den ganzen Tag nackt. Schon klar, durchs Fenster könnten manche Leute mich sehen, aber ich bin im vierten Stock und relativ zufrieden mit meinem Körper, das "Risiko" geh ich dann schon ein. Passiert doch relativ selten, dass ich gesehen werde, auch wenn ich ein paar Typen schon mal dabei erwischt hab :P Und die Zeit am PC wird dann eben auch oft ohne Klamotten verbracht, da schau ich sowieso sehr oft ausgiebig Pornos während ich mich selbst befriedige, da wär Kleidung eh im Weg.

Aber da gibts auch was, was ich nicht weiß. Und zwar, dass mein Vermieter mehr als nur die Miete als Einkommen durch mich hat. In der Wohnung sind nämlich überall Kameras verbaut. Kein Winkel unbeobachtet, egal ob im Wohnzimmer, Schlafzimmer, Bad oder in der Küche. Und das alles wird auf bestimmten Seiten gestreamt. 24/7, egal ob ich langweilige Sachen wie aufräumen oder kochen mache, oder ob ich grad Besuch hab und wir Sex haben, ob ich grad auf Toilette oder in der Dusche bin, kein Teil meines Lebens zuhause ist privat.

Und dafür zahlen einige Leute natürlich viel Geld. Das war die letzten Monate so, der Vermieter hat sich jetzt eben entschieden, das ganze etwas zu eskalieren und daraus etwas interaktiveres zu machen als nur einen Stream zum zuschauen. Gegen Bezahlung können die Zuschauer jetzt für bestimmte Events sorgen, die er dann organisiert. Das kann alles sein (hier würd ich mal realismus bisschen außen vor lassen, wir sagen enfach der vermieter kriegt alles irgendwie geregelt), von einem Einbruch, bei dem sich an mir und/oder Freundinnen vergriffen wird, zu Stromausfällen, Probleme mit dem Wasser oder beim Kochen, dass die Türen nicht mehr richtig schließen. Vielleicht werden Medikamente in mein Leitungswasser gespült die bestimmte Effekte haben (gesteigerte Libido, unfähigkeit zu kommen, egal was ich tue, temporäres Wachstum meiner Brüste, da geht viel)

Kurz gesagt, was die Fantasie der Zuschauer zulässt, der Vermieter und Betreiber des Streams kriegt das hin.

Und hier kommt das Brainstorming ins Spiel. Was für Szenarien fallen uns ein, was könnte passieren, wie würden die ablaufen?

Wie oben gesagt, ich mag die eher extremeren Kinks. Erniedrigung ist ganz oben, Non-con und Forced stuff auch. Toilet play, sowohl NS als auch KV und mehr, Bestiality geht auch. Orgasmuskontrolle, generell Kontrollverlust meinerseits, intox play, so lange es mich erniedrigt, werd ich wahrscheinlich geil davon.

Was ich nicht mag ist sinnlose Gewalt und schmerzen, das ist einfach nur langweilig. Als teil eines anderen Kinks, resultat von bspw. hartem Anal oder so ist das geil, aber einfach geschlagen werden ist nicht geil. Ansonsten eben dolle Verletzungen, diaper play und so abdl play mach ich auch nicht, ich nenn auch niemanden Daddy. Der Rest kann zumindest besprochen werden

Heyy!

I woke up feeling extremely horny and since I basically need to feel degraded and abused to orgasm at all, I am desperately looking for tasks I can do for you. I get insanely turned on being degraded and humiliated, the more degraded and worthless and dehumanized I feel, the more I get turned on. Even, or maybe especially, being told and made to do stuff I hate, anything I'd never choose to do but have to do just to please you, I need that.

Im open to a lot and happy to adapt to your kinks, but what gets me off most is being made to do stuff that has real consequences. Whether that is toilet play (piss, scat or more) and similar kinks that are hard to clean up, messing with friendships, involving my clothes, work or uni stuff, intox play, if I know Ill really regret it and still be dealing with it days from now, my pussy just goes from wet to dripping so fast.

To be clear, I dont want you to ask if im fine with something, I want you to dominate me and abuse me and force me to do your bidding.

Lately I feel so consumed by the memory of how I was kept and repeatedly forced that I can barely concentrate about anything else. Thinking about what he did to me, how he came inside me, how he was the first guy I ever fucked and that I trusted him, trusted the father of my best friend.

Im so torn between what my head says, and what my pussy wants and needs. Wanting more abuse and more trauma even though I know its stupid.

Not entirely sure what I am looking for by posting here, I guess several things. It gets me so wet knowing people get off to my trauma, asking me invasive questions, degrading and humiliating me, treating me like absolute dirt. Maybe encouragement on how to go forward. Definitely not looking for pity or anyone feeling sorry for me, Ive somewhat accepted what happened and Id much rather you enjoy my trauma than feel bad for me because of it.

If you want to know the details of what happened, have a look on my past posts

I want to tell you a story and then hopefully find people to chat with about it.

Before I go on, I want to say that I dont post this to garner pity, or to seek "help" or kind words or anything of the like. I wouldnt be writing on a fetish subreddit if I were, I know youll get off on this story, I hope so at least. I want to please you, i want to help you cum and Im sharing my rape to do that. If you decide to wanna talk with me, please keep that in mind and know that the more you degrade me, the wetter and more subservient I get.

Anyway. Im 22 years old now, all of this happened when I was 19 and to this day, has been my only "full" sexual experience. Ive given blowjobs and handjobs before and since, but havent had real sex.

My best friend and I had planned to go on a holiday together to a house that her family owned for a while, and we finally had everything booked and planned out. A few days before the flight, she had to cancel because of some personal, family matters, and after thinking it through I figured since the flight is already booked, I could just go alone, even if that wouldnt be as fun as together. The whole stay was planned for 10 days, and the first three were great, if a bit lonely.

On the fourth day, I was awoken by the sound of the front door opening and at first I thought she had made it after all. I went down in my sleep clothes, a night shirt and a comfy tanga and was very surprised when I was face to face with her father. I was pretty embarrassed at being dressed in so little, but before I could do more than say "Hi" he crossed the room and threw me on the couch and had my wrists in his hands and literally ripped my shirt off me. I was terrified and tried to scream for help but he hit me in my stomach a few times and that silenced me. I dont remember all the details of the days that followed, but he took my virginity, both my cunt and my asshole on the day he arrived. I begged him to stop and let me go each time he fucked me, I dont even know how often he did but I remember him always cumming inside, always insulting me, verbally abusing me, calling me a whore and a slut, and that I deserve that. He stayed for four days, and he kept me tied up with ropes almost all the time unlless he was using me. He did more than just fuck and abuse my holes too, he forcedme to be his toilet, to lick his ass clean, he hurt my tits and spanked me with hands and kitchen spoons and other stuff.

And I cant even properly put into words how that experience changed me. I was fairly hypersexual before, even though I didnt have Sex, I masturbated a lot and watched porn but that just amplified it so much, especially my submissive side. Not immediately afterwards, for a while I was completely asexual but it returned insanely strongly after a few months and for a while I spent every free minute masturbating, at first trying to push those memories aside, but eventually I just thought about it when I came and gave in and allowed myself to be what I had evidently become, a submissive slut for abuse and humiliation, and I watched more and more misogynistic porn and searched for men to degrade me online to fill that void. Some days i think about messaging him and begging him to use me again, even though I know how stupid that is, but it feels like the only thing that makes me feel whole sometimes.

So I certainly didn't want what happened back then. But I also cannot deny that the memories turn me on immensely and that whenever I think about sex, I think about him to someone similar, or at least similar situations.

I know my best friend did not have anything to do with what her father did, and I have never told her. I am also sure that he never touched her in any similar way.

I am unsure now what to do. On the one hand, I know it'd be insanely stupid to text or call him but on the other hand I also fantasise about it so much that it's kind of impacting my day to day life and I dont feel like I can have a decent relationship or sex life this way either. The thing is, I crave what he did so much, but straight up telling him I want him or how I feel wouldnt be right I think. If he takes me again, Id want him to think I dont want it, so it would have to be something more subtle. Same if I sought relief elsewhere from someone else, CNC, prearranged stuff wouldnt work so well because it wouldnt be real, I want a man who takes what he wants against my will, without caring about what it does to me.

A few things you should know before we talk:

I did not want it. Craving it now doesnt mean I wanted it then. You telling me that I did is a really quick way to let the conversation dry out.

I did not tease him. I did not wear overly slutty or revealing clothes around him. When it was warm, I had less clothes on, like everyone else. If me and my best friend used their pool, we had a bikini on, so naturally that was not concealing my body, but it also wasnt in any way slutty. Yes, I wasnt wearing much when he came to the vacation house, but so did everyone else in the vicinity at around 40°C, especially if they were at a beach house like me. So telling me that my clothes are at fault for what happened and that I should have known better. - quick way to let the conversation dry out

I had orgasms, but again, that does not mean that I wanted it or loved it. I couldnt help it. I dont resent my body for it, and in hindsight it is hot that I came, but it still doesnt mean anything about how much I did or did not enjoy what he did at the time.

Also, if you are asking me questions and then contradicting my answer or not believing me, save your time, thats really not worth it. I am happy to answer questions, and to be degraded, but if you simply not believe me to be honest and truthful, or you think you know better what I feel and think, just leave it.

And lastly, do not insult my intelligence. I am smart, and educated and aware of it. Its fine to call me a stupid slut or a dumb whore, but dont make the mistake of thinking I am actually unintelligent.

Heyy!

I woke up feeling extremely horny and since I basically need to feel degraded and abused to orgasm at all, I am desperately looking for tasks I can do for you. I get insanely turned on being degraded and humiliated, the more degraded and worthless and dehumanized I feel, the more I get turned on. Even, or maybe especially, being told and made to do stuff I hate, anything I'd never choose to do but have to do just to please you, I need that.

To be clear, I dont want you to ask if im fine with something, I want you to dominate me and abuse me and force me to do your bidding.

I want to tell you a story and then hopefully find people to chat with about it.

Before I go on, I want to say that I dont post this to garner pity, or to seek "help" or kind words or anything of the like. I wouldnt be writing on a fetish subreddit if I were, I know youll get off on this story, I hope so at least. I want to please you, i want to help you cum and Im sharing my rape to do that. If you decide to wanna talk with me, please keep that in mind and know that the more you degrade me, the wetter and more subservient I get.

Anyway. Im 22 years old now, all of this happened when I was 19 and to this day, has been my only "full" sexual experience. Ive given blowjobs and handjobs before and since, but havent had real sex.

My best friend and I had planned to go on a holiday together to a house that her family owned for a while, and we finally had everything booked and planned out. A few days before the flight, she had to cancel because of some personal, family matters, and after thinking it through I figured since the flight is already booked, I could just go alone, even if that wouldnt be as fun as together. The whole stay was planned for 10 days, and the first three were great, if a bit lonely.

On the fourth day, I was awoken by the sound of the front door opening and at first I thought she had made it after all. I went down in my sleep clothes, a night shirt and a comfy tanga and was very surprised when I was face to face with her father. I was pretty embarrassed at being dressed in so little, but before I could do more than say "Hi" he crossed the room and threw me on the couch and had my wrists in his hands and literally ripped my shirt off me. I was terrified and tried to scream for help but he hit me in my stomach a few times and that silenced me. I dont remember all the details of the days that followed, but he took my virginity, both my cunt and my asshole on the day he arrived. I begged him to stop and let me go each time he fucked me, I dont even know how often he did but I remember him always cumming inside, always insulting me, verbally abusing me, calling me a whore and a slut, and that I deserve that. He stayed for four days, and he kept me tied up with ropes almost all the time unlless he was using me. He did more than just fuck and abuse my holes too, he forcedme to be his toilet, to lick his ass clean, he hurt my tits and spanked me with hands and kitchen spoons and other stuff.

And I cant even properly put into words how that experience changed me. I was fairly hypersexual before, even though I didnt have Sex, I masturbated a lot and watched porn but that just amplified it so much, especially my submissive side. Not immediately afterwards, for a while I was completely asexual but it returned insanely strongly after a few months and for a while I spent every free minute masturbating, at first trying to push those memories aside, but eventually I just thought about it when I came and gave in and allowed myself to be what I had evidently become, a submissive slut for abuse and humiliation, and I watched more and more misogynistic porn and searched for men to degrade me online to fill that void. Some days i think about messaging him and begging him to use me again, even though I know how stupid that is, but it feels like the only thing that makes me feel whole sometimes.

So I certainly didn't want what happened back then. But I also cannot deny that the memories turn me on immensely and that whenever I think about sex, I think about him to someone similar, or at least similar situations.

I know my best friend did not have anything to do with what her father did, and I have never told her. I am also sure that he never touched her in any similar way.

I am unsure now what to do. On the one hand, I know it'd be insanely stupid to text or call him but on the other hand I also fantasise about it so much that it's kind of impacting my day to day life and I dont feel like I can have a decent relationship or sex life this way either. The thing is, I crave what he did so much, but straight up telling him I want him or how I feel wouldnt be right I think. If he takes me again, Id want him to think I dont want it, so it would have to be something more subtle. Same if I sought relief elsewhere from someone else, CNC, prearranged stuff wouldnt work so well because it wouldnt be real, I want a man who takes what he wants against my will, without caring about what it does to me.

A few things you should know before we talk:

I did not want it. Craving it now doesnt mean I wanted it then. You telling me that I did is a really quick way to let the conversation dry out.

I did not tease him. I did not wear overly slutty or revealing clothes around him. When it was warm, I had less clothes on, like everyone else. If me and my best friend used their pool, we had a bikini on, so naturally that was not concealing my body, but it also wasnt in any way slutty. Yes, I wasnt wearing much when he came to the vacation house, but so did everyone else in the vicinity at around 40°C, especially if they were at a beach house like me. So telling me that my clothes are at fault for what happened and that I should have known better. - quick way to let the conversation dry out

I had orgasms, but again, that does not mean that I wanted it or loved it. I couldnt help it. I dont resent my body for it, and in hindsight it is hot that I came, but it still doesnt mean anything about how much I did or did not enjoy what he did at the time.

Also, if you are asking me questions and then contradicting my answer or not believing me, save your time, thats really not worth it. I am happy to answer questions, and to be degraded, but if you simply not believe me to be honest and truthful, or you think you know better what I feel and think, just leave it.

And lastly, do not insult my intelligence. I am smart, and educated and aware of it. Its fine to call me a stupid slut or a dumb whore, but dont make the mistake of thinking I am actually unintelligent.

​

Heyy!

I woke up feeling extremely horny and since I basically need to feel degraded and abused to orgasm at all, I am desperately looking for tasks I can do for you. I get insanely turned on being degraded and humiliated, the more degraded and worthless and dehumanized I feel, the more I get turned on. Even, or maybe especially, being told and made to do stuff I hate, anything I'd never choose to do but have to do just to please you, I need that.

To be clear, I dont want you to ask if im fine with something, I want you to dominate me and abuse me and force me to do your bidding.

I want to tell you a story and then hopefully find people to chat with about it.

Before I go on, I want to say that I dont post this to garner pity, or to seek "help" or kind words or anything of the like. I wouldnt be writing on a fetish subreddit if I were, I know youll get off on this story, I hope so at least. I want to please you, i want to help you cum and Im sharing my rape to do that. If you decide to wanna talk with me, please keep that in mind and know that the more you degrade me, the wetter and more subservient I get.

Anyway. Im 22 years old now, all of this happened when I was 19 and to this day, has been my only "full" sexual experience. Ive given blowjobs and handjobs before and since, but havent had real sex.

My best friend and I had planned to go on a holiday together to a house that her family owned for a while, and we finally had everything booked and planned out. A few days before the flight, she had to cancel because of some personal, family matters, and after thinking it through I figured since the flight is already booked, I could just go alone, even if that wouldnt be as fun as together. The whole stay was planned for 10 days, and the first three were great, if a bit lonely.

On the fourth day, I was awoken by the sound of the front door opening and at first I thought she had made it after all. I went down in my sleep clothes, a night shirt and a comfy tanga and was very surprised when I was face to face with her father. I was pretty embarrassed at being dressed in so little, but before I could do more than say "Hi" he crossed the room and threw me on the couch and had my wrists in his hands and literally ripped my shirt off me. I was terrified and tried to scream for help but he hit me in my stomach a few times and that silenced me. I dont remember all the details of the days that followed, but he took my virginity, both my cunt and my asshole on the day he arrived. I begged him to stop and let me go each time he fucked me, I dont even know how often he did but I remember him always cumming inside, always insulting me, verbally abusing me, calling me a whore and a slut, and that I deserve that. He stayed for four days, and he kept me tied up with ropes almost all the time unlless he was using me. He did more than just fuck and abuse my holes too, he forcedme to be his toilet, to lick his ass clean, he hurt my tits and spanked me with hands and kitchen spoons and other stuff.

And I cant even properly put into words how that experience changed me. I was fairly hypersexual before, even though I didnt have Sex, I masturbated a lot and watched porn but that just amplified it so much, especially my submissive side. Not immediately afterwards, for a while I was completely asexual but it returned insanely strongly after a few months and for a while I spent every free minute masturbating, at first trying to push those memories aside, but eventually I just thought about it when I came and gave in and allowed myself to be what I had evidently become, a submissive slut for abuse and humiliation, and I watched more and more misogynistic porn and searched for men to degrade me online to fill that void. Some days i think about messaging him and begging him to use me again, even though I know how stupid that is, but it feels like the only thing that makes me feel whole sometimes.

So I certainly didn't want what happened back then. But I also cannot deny that the memories turn me on immensely and that whenever I think about sex, I think about him to someone similar, or at least similar situations.

I know my best friend did not have anything to do with what her father did, and I have never told her. I am also sure that he never touched her in any similar way.

I am unsure now what to do. On the one hand, I know it'd be insanely stupid to text or call him but on the other hand I also fantasise about it so much that it's kind of impacting my day to day life and I dont feel like I can have a decent relationship or sex life this way either. The thing is, I crave what he did so much, but straight up telling him I want him or how I feel wouldnt be right I think. If he takes me again, Id want him to think I dont want it, so it would have to be something more subtle. Same if I sought relief elsewhere from someone else, CNC, prearranged stuff wouldnt work so well because it wouldnt be real, I want a man who takes what he wants against my will, without caring about what it does to me.

A few things you should know before we talk:

I did not want it. Craving it now doesnt mean I wanted it then. You telling me that I did is a really quick way to let the conversation dry out.

I did not tease him. I did not wear overly slutty or revealing clothes around him. When it was warm, I had less clothes on, like everyone else. If me and my best friend used their pool, we had a bikini on, so naturally that was not concealing my body, but it also wasnt in any way slutty. Yes, I wasnt wearing much when he came to the vacation house, but so did everyone else in the vicinity at around 40°C, especially if they were at a beach house like me. So telling me that my clothes are at fault for what happened and that I should have known better. - quick way to let the conversation dry out

I had orgasms, but again, that does not mean that I wanted it or loved it. I couldnt help it. I dont resent my body for it, and in hindsight it is hot that I came, but it still doesnt mean anything about how much I did or did not enjoy what he did at the time.

Also, if you are asking me questions and then contradicting my answer or not believing me, save your time, thats really not worth it. I am happy to answer questions, and to be degraded, but if you simply not believe me to be honest and truthful, or you think you know better what I feel and think, just leave it.

And lastly, do not insult my intelligence. I am smart, and educated and aware of it. Its fine to call me a stupid slut or a dumb whore, but dont make the mistake of thinking I am actually unintelligent.