u/Poster9999999999

(spoiler: another orgasm for her)

My KH would like to try a flat cage with detachable toys like in the pic (not my content). Do I need to get a specific flat cage or will any of them work?

I saw a thread recently where a husband talked about how his wife said her bull's cock feels like the "normal" one now, and his feels "unusual." And the comments were all over the place ("size does not matter", as usual when it's about that topic 😮‍💨), so I thought maybe a woman should say something.

I'm Amy. I'm in a committed cuckolding marriage. I see my lover once a week, sometimes twice. My husband is average-sized, and my lover is very well endowed. I also happen to be a surgical nurse in urology, so I might have seen and touched more penises than many of you have seen in your entire porn life. And unlike most of you, I also have a vagina and have tested a fair selection of what's out there. So I think I'm qualified to talk about this 🤷‍♀️

So let's clear a few things up.

The physical "resizing" myth

Your wife is not getting permanently stretched out. No, she is not. That's not how a vagina works. The vagina is made of muscles and like any muscle, it contracts back. That means the vaginal walls touch when the vagina is in a resting state. After sex with my lover, even rough, deep sex, I'm physically back to normal within maybe a day, sometimes less. The idea that a big cock will permanently "ruin" or gape a woman's tightness is something insecure men invented, and it has zero basis in anatomy. Childbirth stretches a vagina significantly more than any penis ever could, and women recover from that too. When my husband goes down on me and uses a single finger, he often mentions surprised how strong and tight she grips him.

So if that was your worry, you can relax. She's not broken.

But here's where it gets more complicated.

Your wife's body absolutely adapts

The vagina goes back to its shape. But your brain learns and remembers.

When I have sex with my lover once or twice a week, my body gets used to a certain level of stimulation. I mean he stretch at the entrance. The pressure against my inside. I get used to that. It becomes what my body expects when something enters me.

And then when my husband enters me, which currently happens "rarely" in our dynamic, my body goes:

> oh, is that all?

And this is definitely not because he is doing anything wrong or different than my lover! There is simply less happening physically. Less friction and pressure. My body got used to being stretched in a very intense way and now it's barely being stretched. It's like someone whispering after you've been listening to loud music. You can hear it, but it doesn't hit the same.

Now before anyone panics: this is not necessarily permanent either. Think of it like stretching your legs. If you stretch every day, it gets easier and easier. Your body adapts, your flexibility increases, it becomes your new normal. But if you stop for a few months? You're back to stiff.

Same principle with a vagina. If she's having intense sex once or twice a week, her body stays adjusted to that level. If she stops for a while, things go back to "normal". She gets used to less again.

But there's a catch. If you stretch daily for years, it takes years to undo. And if you never really stop it probably becomes permanent.

I had my first boyfriend for three years. Very well endowed, lots of sex. Three years of my body having sex on a high level of intensity, at an age where everything was new and forming. By the time we broke up, I was very well adjusted to him. And my expectations never fully came back down. Every man after him felt less, and I spent years wondering what was wrong with me before I understood: nothing was wrong. I was just used to more.

So for me there is no way back I guess 🤷‍♀️

What the difference actually feels like

I'll try to be concrete here because men always ask and women rarely answer honestly.

When my lover enters me, I feel the stretch immediately. My vagina has to open for him. There's a moment where my body resists but then gives way. I feel him slide along my walls, and there's friction the whole way. I feel full. Not in some metaphorical sense, I mean I physically feel my vaginal walls being pushed apart and held there. When he is all way inside, it feels somehow "right". And when he pulls out it feels like something is missing. When he thrusts, I feel every movement because his girth keeps constant contact with the nerves along my vaginal canal. The movement is a big and slow and heavy one. That's why my orgasms come so easily.

When my husband enters me, it feels like something warm is inside me. That's the best way I can describe it. There is just little stretch. The more time has passed between him and my lover, the more intensity it has. There is little friction, especially when I'm already wet. I don't feel that constant pressure and no fullness. When he is thrusting, the feeling is more on the outside and entrance, where our bodies touch. The movement is a smaller, faster and lighter one.

In twelve years I have never had a vaginal orgasm from my husband's penis. And that is not because he's a bad lover. He is the best oral sex I have ever had, and I mean that. But his penis inside me does not produce enough physical sensation to get me there it feels good and I love the feeling, but orgasms are not a part of this. That is just a fact of our bodies.

So what IS "resizing" then?

The physical resizing that men talk about in forums, the "he stretched her out permanently" thing, is a myth. It doesn't happen.

But the psychological adaptation is very real. When a woman gets fucked regularly by a significantly larger cock, her body and mind adjust their expectations upward. She gets used to a certain level of intensity. And then the smaller one feels like less. Not nothing, but noticeably less. And the more frequent the sex with the larger partner and the less frequent with the smaller one, the bigger that gap becomes.

The husband in that thread said his wife has been "mentally resized." I think that's actually pretty accurate. She got used to a new normal. And his cock is no longer it.

Whether that's purely psychological or whether the body itself learns to expect more (or most likely both feeding into each other) I honestly can't say. What I can say is that the experience is real for her, even if the mechanism isn't fully understood.

One more thing

I know this is not what many of you want to hear. But I'm not here to comfort. I'm here to be honest. And from the perspective of a woman who lives this, the truth is: your wife gets used to what she has most often. And if someone bigger is there more often, that becomes the standard.

It doesn't mean she loves you less or that your marriage is in danger. It just means her body is doing what bodies do. Adapting.

What you do with that information is up to you 😊

Before you spiral

And before the usual accusations come in. "She doesn't respect her husband." "Poor guy." "This is just abuse with extra steps."

You don't know us. My husband and I have been together over twelve years. We have children, a home, and more intimacy than most couples after being together for so long. He is the one who opened this door. He is the one who recognized what I needed before I spoke about it. And he is the reason I can write all of this without it threatening a single thing between us. My husband is not a victim but the strongest man I know. I have written other posts about why I'll never leave him, read them if you don't understand the dynamic.

Everything I write is purely subjective. I'm not a doctor, and I'm far from being an expert. This is just my experience and my body. Yours might be completely different.

Meine Frau liebt es, von mir mit Strapon richtig gut durchgefickt zu werden. Als vor über vier Jahren unsere Reise in meine mittlerweile dauerhafte Keuschheit losging, war das unser neuer Sex und auch für meine Frau, natürlich in Verbindung mit meiner Zunge und meinen Fingern absolut ausreichend.

Irgendwann kam abends aber von ihrer Seite mal, dass es ihr leid tut, sie aber unbedingt auch mal wieder einen echten Schwanz haben möchte. Und sie meinte, dass sie sich momentan nicht vorstellen kann, dass es meiner sein wird. Ich habe ihr gesagt, dass das für mich vollkommen in Ordnung ist und ich mich auch nicht mehr in dieser Rolle sehe. Zu dem Zeitpunkt hat sie von mir auch ihren Freibrief bekommen.

Wir hatten also erste Dates über Tinder, bei denen ich auch immer dabei sein durfte, und es war wirklich aufregend und schön, und wir haben es beide geliebt! Tun wir noch heute!

Im Verlauf kam bei ihr irgendwann dann aber auch der Wunsch auf sich mal alleine mit einem Liebhaber vergnügen zu dürfen, weil sie dann den Kopf doch freier hat und nicht gleichzeitig immer noch nach mir schauen muss. Ich habe das verstanden und fand die Vorstellung auch ziemlich geil, dass ich nicht dabei sein darf. Und so kam es zu ihren ersten Solo-Dates!

Ein Stück weit sind Tinder Dates. Anstrengend, weil man sich immer wieder auf neue Menschen einstellen muss und meine Frau eigentlich eher introvertiert ist. Es kam bei ihr, das Bedürfnis auf einen festen Liebhaber zu haben, den sie gut kennt, bei dem sie sich sicher fühlt und der sie einfach perfekt vögelt. Sie ging also auf die Suche! Das Projekt ist aber viel viel schwieriger geworden als gedacht und es ging über ein Jahr, bis sie ihren jetzigen festen Liebhaber gefunden hat. Wichtig war für sie auch, dass ich auch gut mit ihm klarkomme, obwohl ich bei den Treffen nicht dabei bin. Aber wir unternehmen öfter mal was zu dritt. Für den Sex ziehen die beiden sich dann aber zurück und ich übernachte im Gästezimmer.

Neu jetzt für uns: sie ist jetzt mit ihm eine Woche im Urlaub und die beiden haben mal wirklich richtig viel Zeit für sich. Mein Kopfkino ist krass und ich freue mich aber wirklich wahnsinnig für die beiden.

Kurzum: Cuckolding und Keuschheit entwickeln sich weiter, bleiben immer spannend und aufregend. Meine Frau und ich lieben uns innig und sind emotional und körperlich sehr eng miteinander. Wir haben viel großartigen Sex zusammen, verbringen unsere Zeit am liebsten einfach zu zweit miteinander. Aber durch die Möglichkeiten des Cuckoldings ist unser Leben so viel schöner und spannender geworden und wir freuen uns jeden Tag darüber ♥️