u/Rule34Uploading

I recently had a first date with a potential submissive for coffee, followed by a walk and then small meal. They never had a kink relationship before and were nervous, it was cute. The second date was to see a movie, I kissed them in the theatre, they complimented my outfit. On our third date (Friday) with them we went for a walk. There were some religious people with loud speakers preaching the benefits of Christianity. My date turned to me and said we should kiss in front of the preachers to scare them since we’re not heteronormative. This made me uncomfortable and left me in a sour mood, I said I didn’t like being overly aggressive towards those kinds of people because it only strengthens their beliefs they’re being targeted and persecuted. I’d rather just be myself and ignore them. My date disagreed with me, saying it wasn’t a big deal, and that because they had a religious background they knew kissing wouldn’t have that effect (ie persecution). I texted them later saying I don’t feel comfortable being performative for shock value, and that initiating something like that is a hard boundary and made me feel like I was being used for their personal political agenda. They apologized and I accepted their apology. Today (Sunday) they messaged me saying they appreciated our dates but wanted to part ways because they didn’t feel any attraction towards me. I thanked them for being upfront and wished them the best. It’s been a little over a month from meeting them to today as we got to know one another. This kind of misconnection is not uncommon. This is what dating can be like: weeks of investment, possibly months, and that’s before a relationship starts. I see many of you asking about how to meet Domme’s. What you should be asking is do you have the time and energy to do this and still not match, because that’s what finding a partner will take. Time and energy. There’s a good chance you will have dozens of dates, and most of them won’t work out. That’s the hard truth: do you have the motivation and time for this?

If you do want to find someone but are feeling overwhelmed this is my advice to you. Stop actively looking, do it passively, and in the meantime work on yourself. Get fit, socialize, work on yourself via introspection and therapy. Go to places with people for the sake of being there (rock climbing, bowling, dog walking, etc) rather than just to find someone. Get on several dating apps and be forthcoming with your needs, join local fet groups geared towards your interests (+18) and find local discords to socialize and meet likeminded people with similar hobbies. Take care of yourself while you passively search for a partner, because in a relationship that’s (mostly) your job. Nothing, and I mean nothing, turns me on more than learning a potential submissive is making an effort looking after themself in their own time. It makes me want to break them with blowjobs, it makes me want their pillows stained with tears and saliva and teethmarks from me obliterating their boy button with a dildo. It makes me want to let them suck on my tits while I run my fingers through their hair and softly tell them how much I love them. It makes me want to walk with them dressed as my plaything to a restaurant and order all their food and spoil them. It should go without saying the next most attractive quality I look for in a sub is them communicating their wants and needs and being respectful of mine. When they aren’t comfortable they tell me and we talk about it, it’s very reassuring to know when and how their needs are being met and how I can improve doing so.

Hopefully this helps some of you. Have a lovely week cuties😉

While Mommy’s working out share a special interest you have and why you like it (artist: speedl00ver)

What dating is like and how to accept the hard truth

I forgot to get f’d by my sub