u/SoKandid

So I've been in everything from BDSM to just Dom/ Sub type stuff for about as long as I've been in the MFM / group lifestyle. What I find is that especially the D/S stuff is pretty mainstreamed right now, to the point where it's basically in around 30% of my normal casual encounters with women. So I've tried to see if I can tie in the two lifestyles together and it's been an interesting mixed bag.

Basically, I bring this up casually with any couple I'm talking to. What I've found is that a decent number are interested and want to engage, but when we get to it, the woman often wants to do a lot more than the husband / boyfriend is comfortable with, which leads to some pretty awkward moments.

I've since switched my approach and put a lot into testing whether this is the right fit before I do anything like this with a couple and it's mostly boiled down to either couples where both parties are super submissive (which works great but very rare) and couples which already have a D/S dynamic and it's me + the husband dominating her. These latter have still been a bit of a mixed bag tbh.

Curious if anyone here really mixes the two? How does it work for you?

Wanted to share something that's been fun for me and that I tend to do a lot nowadays.

Years ago, I started trying to follow up every new encounter with a casual meetup - dinner or drinks or some daytime activity. Basically, if I meet a couple and the sex wasn’t awful, I’m going to obviously try to meet up again, but I’ll also just try to offer up a daytime / evening activity. Reason is simple - I’ve found this super hot and fun and if I can ever parlay a MFM threesome into a friendship (hopefully with the ongoing MFMs) it’s honestly one of the most fun parts of the lifestyle for me. The only times I don’t do this are again, either we didn’t really have fun, or super out of my age bracket couples (I do meet couples 25 years older than me routinely, so that’s a thing).

My experience so far has been limited but with some very great results. I’d say that only about 10% of couples are responsive to this, maybe even fewer. This is true even when you include couples who do want to meet me again. A lot of them want to just get to business, which is fine. With that said, the 10% that are receptive to this do end up almost always being a lot of fun and of course almost always end up in repeat meetups.

Generally we end up doing a daytime brewery or an evening dinner / drinks. The vibe is always really fun to observe. Sometimes, there’s just this fun tension around the fact that I had sex with the guy’s wife a week or so ago and we don’t like immediately or openly talk about it, but it’s there. Other times though it’s like super open and flowy and we just talk about everything that happened. Both are very hot in different ways.

Pretty much every time this has happened, we end up having follow on sexual meetups. Most end up being sort of an ongoing mix of date + bedroom. The novelty of the dates does wear off but I’ve found ways to keep the dates fun when a couple is up for it. A few of these ongoing things really did pan out into longer friendships and personally it’s been one of the more rewarding parts of the lifestyle for me.

Anyhow, curious if anyone else does anything like this.

This came up from a recent experience. After like a ton of MFM meetups, I've realized that there's basically only one thing that still weirds me out or feels awkward and that's when the husband watches with zero interaction with us particularly if he's fully clothed the entire time.

The watching itself isn't really an issue in my mind. I find it super natural when the guy gets in bed with us and especially if he's naked or at least half naked. I try to encourage it and I've found that some couples start with the husband watching from a distance at a default but tend to enjoy the more intimate setup more once you suggest it.

How do you all do it?

The past 3 or 4 years I've found myself increasingly frequently in meetups that involve me + a couple + one or more other guys. I used to be very averse to these (didn't particularly enjoy the sausage fest vibe) but over time I've found these more fun. In part because as I get older I also enjoy just sitting back and watching the action and in part because half the time this just involves guys I know.

I'm mostly curious how the logistics work out for others here? I guess mostly couples but also a question to solo dudes.

- How do you find guys to join?
- Given there are so many flakes, do you just invite like 5 guys and see who shows up?
- Do you go out in public with more than one guy?
- What are the dynamics when it's working out with one guy but not the other?

I won't belabor trying to answer this for myself, but wanted to share two stories of how this has worked out and been really fun.

Couple A. Live in a place I travel to frequently. Known them for a few years. They're late 40s and they like adding guys in their early 20s. We've done this 8 times so far, every time with a new guy and I've helped them find guys. I've kind of figured out, that the reason it works is they're not super picky and really go with the flow with guys I find. They like something specific - definitely early 20s and sometimes some novelty (race or ethnicity maybe something else) but outside of that I've figured out the vibe and I know that she'll be 100% down. It helps that she's super down with shy guys or a bit dorky guys.

We've had flakes and duds but most of the experiences have been fun. Most of the time husband and I just chill while her and the new guy go after it. Sometimes we give them direction lol. About half of the time the guy will peace out after he's done and husband and I just take over after. When we're lucky he'll stick around and we get to go back and forth.

Couple B. Organized two gangbangs with them. Well one was a GB, the first one was perhaps what you'd describe as a train.

Again, useful to describe what in my mind made this work. We agreed that I was going to pick the guys. They gave me some likes and dislikes but we agreed that I'll pick the guys and they're not going to know who is coming. This couple is def a bit on the submissive side so this was I guess part of the fetish. I ran some sample profiles by them but again they didn't know if any of the guys I showed them were going to be picked.

I think I'm as good as one can be at filtering flakes. As a side note, we picked bi guys mostly because the husband is bi and I find that bi guys flake less.

The train was the first one we did. Basically we got an airbnb (important not to do a hotel here, if you know you know). I had to navigate the logistics of getting several guys to show up at different times. The story was basically they were coming to get oral from her and him. We were aiming for 15 but only 9 showed up. The fun part here is I got to make the call after feeling out the vibe of whether a guy would proceed to sex or just be done after oral (progressed 4 of the 9).

The gangbang came later, building partly on all the experience doing the train. Airbnb again. Invited 8 guys but only 6 showed up. The deal was I either vetted you a day ahead of time (just hung out at a booth in a bar) or day of I'd meet the guys a block down at a parking lot before they got the address.

Bottle game followed by sex. I just filmed the whole thing which was a blast. I think the whole thing lasted like 6 hours which felt crazy.