I'm definitely a strict top, but not a dom top. I operate outside of BDSM or kinks. No power games/struggles, or trying to break anyone. No D/s. I just really enjoy bringing firm masculine energy.
It feels like it’s automatically labeled as a dom top nowadays.
Anyone else?
I’m noticing a weird trend where asking for transparency about a partner's recent history is being treated as a personal attack.
My preference is simple: I want a clean slate. If someone has been with others recently and is pre-loaded, I’d like to know so I can make an informed choice. Even with PrEP and Doxy-PEP, medicine isn't 100%, and informed consent should still matter.
Why has basic honesty about what you're bringing to the table become such a mood killer or a point of defensiveness? Are we moving toward a don't ask, don't tell culture where the next guy’s safety is an afterthought?
I’ve got a hard rule: I don’t go behind other tops.
For me, I’m not sticking my dick into a recently used space. I don’t come second. I’m fine being the first one in and letting someone follow me, and in a group setting, anything goes as long as everyone’s involved. But one-on-one, I need a clean slate. I don’t want a pre-loaded hole. I also believe in being upfront—I’ll always tell a partner if I’ve been active recently.
Bottoms: If a top just finished fucking someone else and comes to you primed and ready for more, do you want to know? Even if he’s wiped down and clean, does knowing he’s already been "in use" recently turn you on, or do you prefer being the only one?
Tops: Are you "First or Nothing" like me, or do you actually like going in second? Do you care to know if they are pre-loaded?
Where do you guys draw the line?