u/Successful_Hour6937

I keep thinking about being kept full and pregnant, belly growing while my body is used over and over, never given a real break. The idea of belonging to someone who wants to breed me until I’m leaking and marked as theirs won’t leave my head. I don’t just want the sex I want the purpose of it, the constant reminder that I’m there to be filled and claimed.

I imagine coming home already soft and swollen, knowing another load is waiting for me the second I walk through the door. No birth control, no pulling out, just being taken whenever they want and left dripping. The thought of building a whole messy, overfilled little family like that makes me so wet it’s almost embarrassing. I need it more than I should.

I’ve been using porn a lot just to deal with how high my sex drive is while still being a virgin with zero real options. I know touching myself is normal, but I’m starting to worry about what all that visual stuff is doing to my head. I also end up scrolling Instagram and TikTok a lot for softer stuff that isn’t straight-up porn, and some people say reading novels is way healthier.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m training my brain to only get turned on by things that don’t even exist in real life. The idea of needing screens or fantasy just to feel anything makes me a little uneasy, like maybe I’m making it harder for myself later when I finally do get to be with someone.

I don’t want to stop completely, but I also don’t want this to mess me up more than it already might have. Curious if anyone else has been in this spot and what actually helped.

he already knows how I get when I’m like this. I’ll start texting other guys and leaving the house without really explaining, and instead of getting mad he just gets quiet and waits for me to come back. sometimes I tell him what I did and he listens like it’s normal. I think part of him likes that I still come home to him after.

I don’t even feel bad anymore. when I’m that horny I just need someone who can actually keep up, and he’s never been that person. so I go get it somewhere else and he deals with it. it’s easier for both of us this way.

When the jealousy is replaced with acceptance, everything gets lighter. He stops trying to be enough on his own and starts finding pleasure in watching me get what he can’t give. The tension that used to sit between us turns into something we both feed on.

I get to be desired the way I want, and he gets to stay close while it happens. There’s no more pretending, no more quiet resentment. Just honesty, hunger, and a different kind of loyalty that actually works for both of us.

There’s something about sinking down onto him, feeling every thick inch stretch me open as I take control of the pace. His hands grip my hips, my thighs, my ass anywhere he can reach while I ride him slow at first, then harder, watching his face twist with that mix of pleasure and need.

It’s not just the depth or the way he fills me completely. It’s the power of it, the way I can lean forward and pin his wrists or sit back and grind so he feels every squeeze of me. Looking down at him while I bounce and roll my hips, hearing him groan my name, knowing I’m the one making him lose it… yeah, that feeling stays with me long after we’re both spent.