You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to have it perfectly put together. The dynamic you have with the person you care about can be fluid and malleable. There's no hard and fast rules to these kinda dynamics
I see so many of yall stressing yourselves out trying to be the perfect submissive. That's a road that burns people out.
You read all these hard and fast rules online and think you gotta have this flawless 24/7 dynamic where you never make a mistake and always say the exact right thing. You think if you stumble or get too exhausted, you are somehow failing at your role.
Hell, you might even think that if you want to take a break or pause and try something different, you will let the person you're with down.
Stop it.
Just breathe for a second shawty.
Life is entirely too chaotic for you to be performing all day. You spend your whole day putting out fires, dealing with fake folks at work, and carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. When you finally get home to your man, or whoever is anchoring you, you do not need to perform. You dont need to have all the answers. You absolutely do not have to have it perfectly put together.
The dynamic you have with the person you care about can be completely fluid and malleable. There are no hard and fast rules to this shit. The person for you will know know how to read your body and understand your mind is going to adapt to whatever you need on any given day. They're not a mind reader, and you're going to communicate the best way you know how.
Y'all are a team. They're gonna make it work.
If you come home completely drained, nonverbal, and ready to cry from frustration, the dynamic shifts. It becomes pure caretaking. I take your heavy bag out of your hands. I run your bath water. I wash your back, lotion you down, and feed you without forcing you to make a single decision. You get to just exist and be soft.
But if you wake up the next morning feeling rebellious, mouthy, and bratty because your energy is back. Well then the dynamic shifts again. Then I get to pin those wrists down, grip your waist, and remind you exactly who is in charge until you are a dripping, begging mess.
It is supposed to flow naturally. You do not have to force yourself into a tiny little box just because some post on the internet said a sub is supposed to act a certain way. You are a human being, not a robot.
And that's just how I would be able to switch the dynamic up. The perfect person for you would be able to switch it up in a way that tailors to what you and them decide.
You are allowed to be messy. You are allowed to not know what you want to eat for dinner. You are allowed to just collapse into a big heavy chest and let somebody else steer the ship for a few hours. That is the whole point of surrendering control. It is supposed to bring you peace and safety, not give you more anxiety about doing it right.
So take that heavy armor off.
Drop the crazy expectations you put on yourself. Let your dynamic breathe and just let yourself be taken care of.
You deserve a soft landing.🖤