u/WhatstheAnwser

Genuinely when does it get easier?

16 days in and it still feels the same.

Title is fairly self explanatory, but to give a little more is it normal to just hate yourself for how we feel?

That constant itch and craving that ruins so many situations, always making excuses or trying to hide stuff. Shoild be happy with what you have but your brain screams for more dopamine.

Is it just me?

Been going pretty well solo but think I could do better if I had an accountability bud, if anyones willing id appreciate it.

I struggled for so long trying to stop myself from viewing stuff and fapping and always found myself relapsing and finding work around but the last few weeks like got so hectic I just didnt have time to even consider it.

Its been at least two weeks and the want and urges are gone.

I guess you can hyper focus on the wrong aspect and get bogged down concretrating.

It's never good when you feel alone and the voices get louder

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Happy to talk to anyone see how it goes

Is it common to feel worse on weekends when there's more free time? Or am I just over thinking and making it that way?

Some days it's easy like a walk in the park.

Other days it's like a walk in the park, the problem is it Jurassic Park.

Is the stigma of what people may think of you or judge you that makes it so hard to ask for help?

Why is it always so difficult to just reach out?

Am I alone or does anyone else have like a public and private persona that and separate from each other. There's the "normal" personality for everyday life around your friends, family, work that you use to be friendly and easy going but rhen a private persona that you keep hidden from everyone even those you're close to out of fear of being considered "weird or freak". I know for a fact ive self censored myself most of my adult life I'm terrified to share anything with people incase they judge me for what I like or have done. Is this standard for this world? Am I just wrong?

How do you all deal with it?

I can only speak for myself but I can't tell if this was something I would always want or if it's something I created or was formed into.

Like most who grew up in the 90's 00's i was a latch key kids left home alone with unrestricted access to the internet, sure it was dial up but we made it work.

I spent as much time online as I could and inevitable ended up in the wrong places for my age and did things that definitely shaped me.

But now here I am at 36 in work and all I find myself.doing is doom scrolling for any kind of adult content in hopes of that dopamine hit, that thrill when a new message is received, that instant arousal. Was this always my destiny or something I turned myself into?

I deleted accounts to try be better but always end uo back craving more.

This is more a rant than anything but anyone else stuck like this?

That never ending cycle of self satisfaction and chasing dopamine?

Made the mistake of scrolling without safety features now im in work struggling to keep it together