u/Zealousideal-Bid948

Do y’all ever intentionally hold back on the sexual side of things when you’re getting to know a new Dom?

I don’t mean ignoring boundaries or initiating sexual stuff without consent 😂. I mean more like… sometimes I’ll be talking to someone new and start feeling that warm, excited feeling, but I don’t necessarily want to jump straight into sexual things.

Part of it is that I really value building the connection first. I want to get to know the person behind the Dom and see if there’s actually chemistry, trust, and compatibility there.
But I also think there’s a part of me that just wants to save that side of myself for them if we do end up developing something. I’d rather let the anticipation build and have that intimacy feel more meaningful once we’ve established something.

That definitely doesn’t mean I won’t be a little tease with consent though 😂. I love flirting, I love being called pretty, and I’m honestly really excited to explore this side of myself more. Some Doms I’ve talked to lately have actually been low-key helping me find my sub space a little more, and I’ve really been enjoying discovering that part of myself.

I guess I’m just excited to see where things go while still letting the connection develop naturally.

Am I making any sense?

What’s one kink you could never give up?

For me? A good voice. 😮‍💨

There’s just something about a deep, firm, slightly sultry voice giving me a simple command that makes my brain go completely quiet.
Like… you don’t even have to say much. It’s how you say it.

Give me that calm, confident tone with just enough authority behind it and suddenly I’m like, “well… I guess I’m listening.” 😂

And if you throw in a “princess” or a good honorific? Ugh. I’m sat. Immediately.
Kneeling in position, obviously. 😌

Honestly, I could probably live without a lot of things, but take away the voice kink? Absolutely not. What’s yours?

Sometimes I look at pictures of myself from when I was deeply in subspace and it genuinely feels like I’m looking at a different person.

I used to be so comfortable in that part of myself. Then after some bad experiences, I became a switch because being in control felt safer. It’s been years, and now that I’m interested in finding my submissive side again, I’m realizing I don’t really know how to get back there.

Interestingly, I have a friend who flirts with me and sometimes just makes me feel warm. I’ve caught myself wondering more than once if he might actually be a Dom, or if I’m just projecting because I’m starting to crave that dynamic again.

Has anyone else experienced this? Feeling like your submissive self almost became a completely different version of you, and then slowly starting to notice little things that make you wonder if she’s still in there?

I’m curious how other submissives have handled this. I used to identify as a sub, but after some bad experiences with Doms, I became a switch. I think part of that was realizing that I wasn’t comfortable giving someone that level of control or vulnerability anymore.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’d like to explore submission again, but I know I don’t want to rush into another dynamic just because I miss being submissive.

For those who have had a bad experience with a Dom and eventually felt comfortable submitting again:
How did you rebuild that trust?
What did your vetting process look like afterward?
What green flags made you feel safe enough to gradually give someone more control?
Did you find that you had to approach submission differently the second time around?
Is there anything you wish you had known before entering your next dynamic?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who eventually found a healthy, long-term dynamic after having a negative experience.
I’m not looking for Doms or trying to advertise myself here.

I’m genuinely just trying to understand how other people navigated getting back to a place where submission felt safe and enjoyable again.