My first time sleeping with another man besides my husband was November 2024. I share that to give perspective because Matt first brought up the hotwife fantasy 3 years prior. (We talk about that 3 year journey in this sub also.)
I had been chatting with L off and on for a few months and a couple weeks prior to setting up our first playdate, Matt and I met him at a swingers club. He and I danced and made out, but nothing more. But that night confirmed for me and Matt that we were turned on by this dynamic and wanted to explore it further.
L made it known that he was definitely interested in seeing me/us again, but we didn’t confirm anything on the spot. I wanted time to check in with Matt and talk things through before taking this big step.
After that initial meet at the club, Matt and I were both buzzing. We were so turned on and felt so connected having had this sexy experience together. My stomach was flipping when I texted L and asked if he would want to meet for a playdate at a hotel in the city.
The week leading up to the playdate, I was a wreck. I kept questioning if this was the right thing for me in our relationship. Kept wondering if I would feel immensely guilty afterwards. I thought about canceling dozens of times. But, Matt and I talked through it. We talked through our feelings together and realized that if it wasn’t an experience that we both enjoyed, it could just be a one time thing. That helped me a lot — realizing that this didn’t have to define me. It could just be a fun, crazy sexy thing we did once.
The day-of felt surreal. We packed our bags to go to the hotel, like we’ve done dozens of times for overnights together. But this time was different…we were meeting someone else there.
Every time I thought about why we were going into the city, butterflies raged through me. It was a mix of anticipation, anxiety and “oh my God are we really doing this??!!” coursing through my body.
Once we got to the hotel and started unpacking and getting ready, my nerves calmed a bit. I settled into “this is really happening” and leaned into the comfort that we were doing this together.
We got the text from L. He was in the lobby. Matt went down to get him and I checked myself one final time in front of the mirror.
When I got to the room, we settled into comfortable and friendly conversation. He was experienced in the lifestyle which definitely helped. At this point I think Matt was more nervous than me!
At L‘s prompting, I stood to let him take in my slip of dress barely covering my lingerie, and he pulled me close, holding my ass firm in his grip. We started kissing, and all three of us moved towards the bed.
L and I undressed and began fooling around on the bed as Matt eagerly capture pictures and videos of the first moments of our encounter. After some foreplay I realized a big threshold moment was coming up. I was going to have sex with another man besides my husband for the first time ever. Caught up in the moment, I didn’t overthink it, and L positioned himself and slowly pushed inside. And what struck me most about this moment was that it felt natural. Not crazy, not weird, not “guilty”.
It felt natural to go with the rhythm of my body, to have fun and be playful and experience something new. It felt natural to fuck and kiss and not overthink it. (I have a tendency to do that lol)
With Matt holding my hand and another man inside me, I officially became a hotwife.
That first playdate was a major shift for both Matt and myself. We realized that by experiencing something so “counterculture” together, it brought us infinitely closer.