u/masochiblood

posting this hoping i can get some intel on what i can do.

tw for mentions of eating disorders.

i am so lost at the moment. okay so i'm a chubby gal who's struggled with eating disorders a good portion of her life and only know slowly learning that my weight does not define my whole person, but I'm still struggling with wearing kinkwear to public events in fear of being judged. now I know that most events are strict about judging others but i'm still so scared of passive aggressive comments or even being ignored due to my weight.

and this is also affecting me doing anything kinky or to do with dynamics. i just feel so out of place and don't know if others would even find me "attractive" enough to do anything with.

please if there's anybody that can help/ has gone through the same feeling that can offer a bit of advice ild love that.

i need to rant. (this is a new account) but i'm struggling so hard here to make friends, esp as a female submissive!!! i feel like a good majority of the people messaging are just randos who think i'm going to instantly submit to them instead of even attempting to get to know me. so this is me on my hands and knees begging y'all.. how do y'all make friends with the same interests!!! i want more sub/dom friends as i know we both share the same mindset and i need more people to talk to kinky shit about.

while i don't mind flirting with people.. it just gets to a point like.. cant a sub get some friends round here??? anyway rant over.