u/moddedmaster_

hello beautiful dommes on my phone… i think i thought of something fun but i need your 🫵 participation! do you have any questions, need for pointers/advice, or seek an opinion?
write in to me in my DMs (if you want to be anonymous) or down in the comments. these can be about findom or truly just anything you want me to respond to!

i will compile all of these and release them somewhere free and accessible!

why bother? because its fun, duhhh
my qualifications: fin/femdomme of 3 years, educational background on human nature and psychological profiling, is a beautiful goth woman on the internet, yapper.

thankssss <333 i hope i can provide genuine insight and fun for this community

I posted this to the other findomsupport group about a year ago; it seemed quite helpful for many, so I figured it belonged here as well :o)

“Where are the real subs at?” “How to get a paypig?” “There are only scammers here.” I will hold your hand when I say this, dear reader, but that is unequivocally false IF you know how to navigate the world of online domming. Here are a few reasons I have had confirmed to me by submissives over the years.

REASONS:

1. WORDING MATTERS:

• Saying “I need” comes across as desperate or needy. We don’t “need” these men; we are strong and independent with or without their money. Whether or not that is actually true of your situation, that is what you need to come across as.
• Beware of anything that makes you come off as reliant on subs, and honestly I wouldn’t post about not being able to find them either.

This goes back to the common quotes aforementioned on these spaces of the internet. Any sub worthwhile WILL look at your posts, your comments, and your overall online presence as a domme. If they see post upon post about how this isn’t working for you, it doesn’t spark their interest. In fact, the more a domme posts about such things, the more likely you are to further attract sugar daddy scammers and submissives who try to “top from the bottom” (AKA push your boundaries and tout their money over you).

1. PERCEIVED INTELLECT:

• Subs like when we are smart and capable, again lending itself to the “we don’t need them” angle.
• Check your spelling, and if you don’t know the meaning of a word, don’t try and flex by using a “big word” because it comes across as uneducated.
• When a domme doesn’t know the difference between ‘their,’ ‘there,’ and ‘they’re,’ or is constantly spelling shit wrong/misusing words, it comes across as if the domme in question isn’t intelligent.

Here are some helpful pointers regarding this section.

“Their”: A possessive pronoun used in reference to belonging to somebody.

ex: Their sub is so obedient, how cute!

“There”: In reference to a specific location.

ex: My payment links can be found over there, in my bio.

“They’re”: The contraction of ‘they are ’.

ex: I heard a femdom party is being thrown at a dungeon; I’m so excited to see what they’re planning!

Another HUGE example that is so often seen on the findom side of the internet: loser vs. looser. Two ‘O’s means that something is more LOOSE than it was previously, such as a knot. One ‘O’ is in reference to somebody who has lost. This one drives me crazy, and I’ve seen subs make fun of it countless times; it’s kinda embarrassing, ladies.

1. ENGAGING THE FANTASY:

• This is findom, not charity service.
• This is findom, not being a sugar baby.
  • Not that there is an issue with being a sugar baby! It’s just simply a different niche.
• PLEASE DO NOT disclose your financial struggles unless you really, REALLY trust a submissive. Subs want to be subs, not sugar daddies and not anything else. Knowing you’re struggling kills the fantasy.
  1. VIBES:
• Subs (and other dommes) can read a domme’s presence fairly easily, whether that’s through conversation or looking through profiles. We CAN tell if you’re actually dominant, because you either got it or you don’t. I seriously implore you to check out another avenue to making money if you aren’t naturally dominant, willing to do your research, and engaging properly in kink. This isn’t an easy money thing, and I despise how diluted findom has become due to this misconception.

TIPS:

• Engage with other dommes; don’t try to cater solely to subs.
• Find a niche or kink to combine findom with, such as chastity or anything else.
• Do not ask other dommes how to get “paypigs,” unless you are prepared to pay for her time and assistance. It’s unprofessional, rude, and desperate. We put in the time to do research, and you should too.
• Don’t create a persona that is too far off of your real personality. Findom is easy for many of us because we aren’t acting. If you are acting, it will become tiring, and burnout is inevitable.
• Don’t comment under another domme’s ANYTHING if you’re trying to leapfrog off of her popularity and be noticed by subs. It’ll get you noticed for the wrong reasons. By this I mean, posting your own links under another domme’s post, finding her subs from her posts and trying to poach them, or any sort of advertising under another dominant’s posts unless prompted.
• Do not navigate findom as competing with other dommes; we are your co-workers and even friends. Jealousy is not cute.
• Be patient. Dynamics take time to build and cultivate. Again— not a quick money grab
• NEVER EVER EVER sacrifice or compromise your morals, beliefs, ANYTHING for money. Stand up, diva.

Basically, be a girl’s girl. Be knowledgeable and respectful to other dommes. Conduct yourself with confidence and build your co-workers up. RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH. This is a kink and requires BDSM etiquette, so learn it.

If you could only use ONE platform for all things findom, which one would it be?

I use LoyalFans, Twitter, Reddit, and Fansly! I’m curious to know the platforms that people like the most, even the more niche ones :p

edit: also open to platform shoe recs XD!!

Pretty girl online can’t do much damage, right? I’m a bully who can be quite sweet, a soft spot for good toys who spoil Me, but that’s all just for show, right? You treat Me well and we become friends, you share your vulnerabilities with Me and our chemistry is wonderful. You don’t even stop to think that I’m keeping the information, that I have a cute little black book for all My prey. No, surely I wouldn’t do that. Surely this is just a standard findom dynamic, one you can exit without any cost. You’d be wrong. You’re MY little pet now, and I plan on keeping you for My use, forever and ever <3 If My pet ever tries to run away…I’ll find you~ So just accept your place as My personal ATM and enjoy it. That’s a good pet.