Is this a red flag?
This is a alt account cause I don’t want my dom to possibly see it😓 but I need some advice on whether my dom is possibly taking advantage of the fact that this is my first ever dynamic and I don’t really know what to expect.
So first, my dom (m37) and I (f24) have only been in our dynamic for almost a month, we are long distance and haven’t met in person yet so there’s a lot we still haven’t done, but we have talked about a lot and he has set a lot of rules for me. But some of the rules feel like they’re a red flag to me and I don’t know if I’m just inexperienced and in over my head and this is how it’s supposed to be or if I’m being taken advantage of…
I was scrolling through Reddit on my main and saw some other subs talking about doms expecting full submission right away without building trust first is a red flag and that’s exactly the situation happening with between me and my dom… He requires full submission and trust despite having not really done anything to gain or earn it in the first place.
He also made a rule that I’m not allowed to say “no” and when I asked about safe words he told me no to that at first too and said that subs using safe words is a disappointment and an embarrassment and that I should never use one… This made me kinda sad and a little bit nervous because he is into some heavy stuff that I have never done before and I don’t want to get hurt or something, so he reluctantly said I could have one, but it would be bad if I ever used it😕
He kinda makes me feel bad about myself too and not in a fun way😅… Like I’m 5’1, weigh about 105lbs, and my BMI is 19.8, which is very close to being underweight, but he has started making me feel like I’m fat and is telling me I need to start a workout routine and eating regiment despite the fact that he knows I have struggled with an eating disorder most of my life…
He also knows everything about me, where i live, my family and background, my full legal name, and has “verified me” with countless nude and clothed pictures with my face included and not censored while holding a paper with his name on it, and I’ve sent him voice notes and daily outfit pics (one of my rules). He wants a photo of my ID and passport, which he is making me get because he wants me to move to his country with him someday soon (and rehome my pets because he doesnt want them💔 and I really don’t want to do that!)
But i dont know almost any of those things about him except the bare minimum and i cant ask to know much more because he says i need to earn his trust more or that its not important. Ive seen three pictures of him, one of him at the gym with his face blurred, and two more without a blur but i cant really tell if the bodies match🫤 and none of them have included any actual verification like a paper with my name or in a pose or place that I specified like he has for me. I’ve never heard his voice and I don’t even know his last name!
Am I being stupid and putting myself in a bad situation or is this how it’s supposed to be??