Hi folks, please be kind. I'm looking to dip a toe back into dating in an intentional way. I'm interested in something with real depth, and that's why I want to take it slowly and gently. I’ve been out of a long relationship for a while, and being careful with each other's hearts while growing is important to me. If that's not your speed, I'm probably not for you. Posting here because… "the apps."
About me (SFW)
46, cis guy, Vancouver. Quiet, funny, affectionate, a bit nerdy, and more "chill wallflower" than the centre of attention. I'm also pretty sensitive, sentimental, and affectionate. If you let me, I will spoil you silly with hand holding and snuggles and kisses. I make a good breakfast and love reading quietly together, having a cozy spa night in, or falling asleep to a favourite show together.
As far as extracurriculars: photography, great food spots, climbing, scuba diving, building models, and reading. I'm slowly reviving watercolour painting and learning the piano, and I've recently gotten into cultivating orchids. I love style, fashion, architecture, and industrial design (Dieter Rams forever). I'm a huge cinephile, I'll go to any art gallery with you, and I love a big international trip — especially if there's bargain hunting involved. Do you like having your portrait taken? I've got you covered.
Adult life is mostly together, financially responsible, the whole bit.
I'm in a "next chapter" phase: doing personal growth, becoming less of an anxious people-pleaser, and trying to do better in general. I can be honest about my red flags if you can be honest about yours — we're all works in progress. It'd be nice to have a companion on that journey. Let me know if you like blueberry muffins.
As far as this human form: 188cm, average-ish build (working on it), short brown hair, hazel eyes and stylish glasses. I clean up well and I've got the wardrobe to prove it — it's definitely a way I like to express myself. Pics in exchange for yours.
About you
Please be local to Vancouver (my heart cannot do long distance) and somewhere in your late 30s to early 50s-ish. Shared life experience goes a long way.
Ideally you're kind, playful, not afraid to be a bit silly, and emotionally available and looking for something real and long term. Open to going slow, building trust and comfort first. A keen sense of humour and a taste for fun and adventure are really important to me — I'll try my best to make you laugh. I'm genuinely interested in what you're passionate about; I think it matters that we both have things that light us up.
I'm pretty into being more active lately, so hopefully that's something you're up for too. You don't need to be crushing ultramarathons — but maybe you want to go for a climb, a hike, or a dive?
About us
What I'm looking for is a soft, loving connection where we like each other as whole people, and can explore kink without it taking over everything. I love when it grows and flowers in a safe container. I'm genuinely looking for my person — someone to grow with and to love, and be loved by.
Being able to talk with care and security about the things that matter to us in a relationship is something I'm very committed to. I like the idea of a regular relationship check-in. Hopefully that appeals to you too.
For dates: I love errands-as-dates, cafe roaming, puttering around the city, aimless day trips, pastry and coffee missions, and cozy evenings in — as well as bigger adventures (climbing, diving, road trips, and I'm thinking about trying skydiving this year). I'd love to do some big international travel together too — I try to get a trip or two in each year and I'm always thinking about the next one.
I'm not looking for the relationship escalator, but I am looking for something real: consistency, care, and "living apart, together." Sleepovers, being at each other's places often, but keeping our own identities and lives. If that appeals, we'll do just fine. If you're looking to move in, get married, or have kids — I'm genuinely not your person, and that's okay.
Monogamy is my thing, and I also don't think we need to meet every single one of each other's needs. I'm here for two fully formed humans choosing each other, with their own social circles and lives intact.
About me (NSFW)
I'm genuinely, happily submissive — and I mean that in the softest, most wholehearted way. I thrive with warmth, care, and a quiet kind of authority. Being cherished, guided, and a little bit owned by someone who knows what they want is the thing for me.
I'm not new to this — I've had meaningful dynamics in past relationships — so I bring some self-awareness to the table. That said, I'm not looking to hand anyone a script. I'd much rather let things grow naturally into something that fits us specifically.
In terms of where my interests land: I lean into service, devotion, and giving up control in ways that feel earned and safe. There's a lot more to say once we get there, but the broad strokes involve sensation, some light restraint, and a few things that might make you smile and raise an eyebrow. I follow directions well and I respond to praise very well.
Aftercare matters to me — real aftercare, for both of us. And ongoing communication, check-ins, and growing the dynamic together is genuinely something I look forward to.
Happy to discuss limits in private chat.
What next
If this sounds interesting, send a DM with a little about you, what you're looking for, and what going slow means to you. I'd prefer some real conversation first, and then let's take it from there. Maybe a coffee and a walk?
If this isn't of interest — thank you for reading, and I hope you have a good day.