The unsexy side of selling: taking care of the body & brain that actually make you money 🫶🏻

this will be a long post! 🤍

I’ve been doing this for quite a handful of years now, and one thing I genuinely did not think enough about when I was first starting was just how much this job asks of your body and your mental health.

We talk constantly about advertising, buyers, pricing, customs, algorithms, payment methods, scammers, lighting, cameras, etc. But… what about the person actually doing all of it?

I don’t think I’ve seen many conversations here specifically about the little health, hygiene and self-care habits we’ve picked up because of this industry, so I wanted to start one.

Huge disclaimer before anything else: I am not a doctor, dermatologist, gynecologist, therapist, dietitian or medical professional of any kind. 😂

This isn’t intended to be medical advice, and everyone’s body is different. Some of this is simply what I’ve personally learned after years of doing this, while other things are little habits I wish I’d thought about much earlier.

I can also only really speak from my experience having female reproductive anatomy, so some sections won’t apply to everyone. I’d actually LOVE for other creators to add things from their own experiences that I wouldn’t know to mention. 🤍

🪒 Hair removal & your poor skin

If being hairless is part of how you personally like to look, experiment until you find the hair-removal method your skin actually tolerates.
For me, that ended up being waxing.
I used to shave much more frequently, whereas waxing lets me go weeks between appointments. Over the years I’ve personally noticed changes in how much hair grows back, how coarse it feels and even areas where considerably less grows now.
That doesn’t mean waxing is automatically “better” for everyone’s skin. Some people tolerate shaving beautifully. Some get ingrowns from waxing. Some swear by laser. Some don’t remove their body hair at all.

The point is really: don’t destroy your skin trying to maintain an appearance for content.
Your skin has to live with you considerably longer than that one picture does.

🧴 Your skin is working too

This one sounds superficial until you’ve spent years constantly shaving/waxing, changing outfits, wearing makeup, using oils, sitting under hot lights, filming in lingerie, showering repeatedly and putting all kinds of products on yourself.

Take care of your skin!!
For me that’s meant learning what my skin actually tolerates instead of buying whatever smells cute. 😂 Gentle exfoliation when appropriate, moisturizer, body creams/butters, sunscreen, and paying attention when something is irritating me instead of continuing to use it because I paid $30 for it.
You don’t need a 17-step routine either.

Sometimes the boring fragrance-free product your skin loves is worth considerably more than the fancy bottle TikTok convinced you to buy (i was a victim many times).

And if you’re dealing with persistent acne, rashes, pigmentation, ingrowns, irritation, etc., there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a dermatologist rather than playing chemist on yourself.

🧼 Toys, hands & everything we’re putting near sensitive areas

This is probably one of the least sexy paragraphs I’ve ever written here. 😂

Think about how often some of us are handling toys, lube, gels, oils, saliva, fingers, costumes and whatever else during a normal workweek.

Clean your toys according to their material/manufacturer instructions. Let them actually dry. Wash your hands. Keep your nails clean and smooth. Be mindful about moving toys between different areas of the body without cleaning them or changing a barrier.

And please don’t push through irritation or pain because you have content scheduled.
A toy being “clean” also doesn’t automatically mean your particular body is going to love repeatedly using it.

🌸 Vulvar & vaginal health deserves its own conversation

Your vagina is self-cleaning. You don’t need to be putting soap, fragrances, deodorants or random “feminine hygiene” products inside it.

The vulva is external, and that’s where gentle hygiene comes in.

Personally, because work can involve lube, sweat, saliva, oils, toys, etc., I like rinsing/showering afterward rather than sitting around in everything for hours. What products your external skin tolerates is going to be extremely individual.
And this is something I REALLY wish creators talked about more:

BV, yeast infections, UTIs, irritation and changes in discharge/odor are health issues, not something embarrassing that makes you “dirty.”

If something keeps happening, hurts, burns, smells noticeably different, or simply doesn’t feel normal for your body, talk to your gynecologist instead of endlessly throwing OTC products at it.

For people who are prone to UTIs, staying hydrated and peeing after sexual activity is also a very easy habit to build.
Your vagina does not know you’re filming content. 😂 To your body, repeated friction, products and penetration are still repeated friction, products and penetration.
Give her a vacation sometimes. 🏝️🥹

🦷 Your mouth is part of the job too

This is another one I didn’t really think about.

If your content involves frequent oral activity, saliva/spit play, toys in your mouth or partnered content, don’t forget that your mouth is tissue too.
Regular dental cleanings, good everyday oral hygiene, hydration and paying attention to cuts, sores, irritated gums or anything abnormal matter.

And especially with partnered content, sexual health conversations don’t suddenly stop at oral sex.

🧪 Collabs deserve actual sexual-health conversations

If you work with partners, normalize talking about STI testing, when everyone was last tested, what they were tested for, barriers, boundaries and what happens if someone’s health status changes.

Awkward for five minutes is considerably better than dealing with something afterward that nobody discussed beforehand.
And remember that “I got tested” doesn’t necessarily mean everyone received exactly the same tests for exactly the same infections.

Ask questions.

🦴 Your back, hips, knees and neck would also like a word

THIS ONE.
We hold some ridiculous positions for photos and videos. 😂
You’re arching your back for pictures. Kneeling. Holding your legs somewhere unnatural. Repeating the same movement for multiple takes. Sitting editing for six hours. Looking down at your phone all day.

Eventually your body notices.

Stretch. Change positions. Take breaks. Use cushions/knee support when you need them. Set your editing space up somewhat ergonomically. Stop pretending the shooting angle is worth destroying your lower back.
Pain is information!

💧 Water, food, sleep and bathroom breaks are not productivity failures

I’m deliberately not giving diet or weight advice here.
Bodies come in every shape and size, and I don’t think anybody needs another person on the internet telling them what their body is “supposed” to look like.

What I will say is that it’s incredibly easy when you work from home to realize you’ve been editing for five hours, haven’t eaten, barely drank water and have needed to pee since noon. 😭

Take care of the basic human operating system.

📱 Your eyes and brain need to leave the screen

Our screen time can be INSANE.

Reddit. Telegram. Snapchat. Editing. Posting. Answering DMs. Checking sales. Checking notifications. Editing again. Scrolling to research trends.

Sometimes “taking a break from work” while continuing to scroll your phone isn’t actually much of a break.

Go outside. Look at something farther away than 12 inches from your face. 😂 Have hobbies that aren’t monetized. Spend time with people who aren’t clients or creators.
Which brings me to probably the biggest one…

🧠 Please take your mental health seriously

You can genuinely love this industry and still admit that it can be incredibly isolating, exhausting and mentally taxing.
Those things can coexist. I love what I do.

That doesn’t mean rude comments suddenly stop hurting. It doesn’t mean slow weeks can’t mess with your confidence. It doesn’t mean rejection, comparison, harassment, sexualization, algorithms, income fluctuations or spending an ungodly amount of time online never get to me.
And I think sometimes creators feel like admitting that this job affects them somehow means they’re admitting they shouldn’t be doing it.

I don’t agree. 🫶🏻

A nurse can love nursing and experience burnout.
Someone can adore animals and still have an emotionally devastating day working in veterinary medicine.
You can love sex work and still need boundaries between you the human being and you the product/persona/business. Take days off. Have relationships and friendships where nobody is purchasing anything from you.

Have hobbies you don’t turn into content. Mute things. Log out.
Don’t measure whether you’re attractive by how much money you made this week.
And if you need professional support, there are therapists who are sex-worker friendly. Pineapple Support in particular exists specifically for people working in the online adult industry and offers mental-health resources, including therapy and support groups.

There is absolutely no prize for waiting until you’re completely burnt out before taking care of yourself.

And finally the biggest thing I’ve learned?

Your body is part of your business, but it is not disposable business equipment.

Neither is your brain.

A lot of us spend an incredible amount of time figuring out how to make this career financially sustainable.
I think we should put just as much thought into making it physically and mentally sustainable.
These are just things I’ve learned, changed or become more conscious of over the years. Some won’t apply to you at all, and you may have completely different routines that work better for your body.

Again, I’d like to preface, these are things personal, and deeply resonating to me, and my female reproductive and mental health 🥰

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