I like to have fun, orgasm, overwhelm my partner with pleasure. Impress them. My sexual energy is based in performance wether im giving or receiving. Moaning, impressive positions, lingerie. I like to look good and that is what makes me feel good. I like to perform whatever my lover wants me to do. That’s how I have always had and enjoyed sex.
But, my new boyfriend wants to make love. I’ve only ever done that once in my life and it was amazing but it was after two years on and off and my ex had just bought a house and asked me to live there. It was situational and after a lot of time getting to know each other.
Me and my boyfriend are something new. But we have a lot of emotional closeness. We sleep together almost every night at his or mine. We have dinner and talk. Hold hands. Text lovingly. It’s wonderful and fulfilling.
But neither of us have cum in the 10 times we have had sex. The sex is honestly great, but we’re not on the same wavelength. He told me last night “it’s not a bad thing, but you only know how to fuck like a pornstar” so then I tried to make love but it still felt performative. I don’t know how to make love. I just know how to fuck 😩
Has anyone else struggled with this?