u/vorebellyboy

For a long time I wanted to just give into my hedonism. Just let my gluttony guide my growth.

But I just realized how much I want to be 200 by Labor Day. I’m only 15 pounds away. That will mean I’m up 70 pounds from where I started, and that I gained 40 pounds this year.

But then what will my next goal be? 220lbs? A 40” waist? I don’t know if I can set goals for myself without becoming a slave to progress and growth, as opposed to a slave to my hedonism.

I know so many people in the community have weight and size goals but I don’t know if that’s what I want. And curious how others feel about goals.

So this is my first summer with a pronounced beer gut. And the changes to how I am dressing this summer compared to last is crazy

I basically never wear a shirt anymore. Every shirt I own is too tight so when I do wear a shirt, the buttons pull and show my belly, or they’re so tight that I have to keep pulling them down or they’re expose my belly button. So I’ve surrendered myself to not wearing a shirt around the house and letting my gut hang out. I do have a couple pairs of shorts that still fit, but they’re so tight that they make my gut look even bigger

I’m also so much sweatier. I feel like I always need a shower. Not to mention how sweaty and tired I feel even after basic home tasks.

It showed the most when I went swimming for the first time. Not only did it take forever to sunscreen myself, but I guess 50 extra pounds of blubber makes you much more buoyant. Plus when I jumped into the pool I displaced so much water that I had women in the first row of pool chairs giving me dirty looks. It was only made more embarrassing when I tried to grab an inner tube and I’m now too fat to pull myself though. My gut got stuck and I could only fit my arms.

I’m wondering just how different everything will feel next year when I’m even bigger.

So I was invited to go out to a club by some old friends I haven’t seen in ages. I haven’t gone out in ages so I figured it would be good for me to get out of the house for a change. I got home from work, had a few pregame drinks, and then decided to get dressed. I pulled out a nice pair of jeans and one of my favorite shirts. I was feeling good and buzzed.

Only problem, since I haven’t gone out in so long, I’ve put on at least 40 pounds since the last time I got all dressed up to go out. I pulled on my top, which was previously not a crop top, that squeezed my chest and no longer covered my belly button. Also my arms must be softer since the sleeves squeezed and made it hard to move. Next I tried pulling on the pants. I apparently have an ass now since I couldn’t pull the pants past my thighs. I looked at myself in the mirror, drunk and unable to dress myself for a night out without looking like a sausage, exploding from the casing.

I struggled to pull the shirt off I actually heard it tear a little. But I guess that’s all for the best since I won’t be wearing it ever again. I pulled on my least stained hoodie and the only pair of jeans I have that fit and proceeded to the club.

No one commented on my weight. Which was surprising, but I did get a few odd stares. Unsure how many were into fat guys and how may were disgusted. But I felt self conscious enough that I just got a few beers before heading back home and ordering a whole pizza for myself and going to bed. I guess if I’m going to try going out again I should learn to dress my size.