r/MultiOrgasmicBliss

After having a TO a few days back, I noticed that feelings in my pelvic region had deadened somewhat, which I guess is to be expected.

Today though, I am feeling weirdly charged, to the point where it’s almost as though I’m close to orgasming at my work desk. Not sure I’m in the headspace for it, but even writing this message it’s there. It’s very tingly and I’m constantly getting very pleasant feelings.

For example, just now I had a surge and it felt as though the feeling in my legs went weird, like they were floating in the air!

Guess this is a good sign!?!

We’ve been talking about knowing the different processes people use to bring themselves to a HFDO. We know that it’s very individual to for everyone…. But knowing the different elements might spark some ideas for those of us who are less experienced.

What do you do to trigger a HFDO? What’s your process?

Chasing is searching for a feeling you don’t know. Expectation is deciding in advance what the session is allowed to be.

It's interesting reading people have their first dry orgasm one day and then seeing a post a week later that they've tried 3 more sessions and can't get back there. Chasing or expectation?

I've been finding more and more that my toy-less sessions are as good or better sometimes then my toy sessions. It seemed odd at first - how could less stimulation give a deeper result? It's only recently that i've discovered another variable - I don't really plan my toy-less sessions. They just happen when I'm somewhere and I'm comfortable and I have some charge, energy or desire that i want to let move, so I do. This is often fully clothed and can even be sitting. The new difference between the toy-less vs toy sessions types now comes down to expectation.

I planned a session for last Saturday when I had all the time in the world and was going to use different toys and all of XYZ. I looked forward to it for 4 days. When i got to it i was so worked up and overwhelmed after a crazy week, it ended up being a quick hybrid session with nothing more then an aneros and stroking. I was so relieved I had tears. I lay there longer after than during. All those expectations and on the day it just didn't happen.

Yet, Tuesday night, I felt in the mood and the same physical scenario ended up in an hour surrendered dry rocking into my hand until a wet finish. The difference was how I felt. Come to last night (Thursday) I tried to recreate the surrendered hybrid of Tuesday and realised i didn't want that toy or my cock touched and just lay there for a gentle dry session for 30 minutes until my body just decided it was done...

Planned toy sessions carry a script. Unplanned clothed ones don’t. Less stimulation can go deeper because there’s nothing you’re supposed to produce.

I’m assuming that most of the members here are part of several similar subreddits and that’s quite beneficial because acquiring all sorts of information and knowledge from various sources is beneficial.

I think it’s important on this journey to remember that we’re all uniquely different and our bodies are naturally going to respond quite differently than others. All the techniques and guides out there are happily shared because they are the blueprint that lead to someone’s “Eureka!” moment on their journey. Often, I’ll see posts from exuberant people that have reached a new milestone and are very excited to share what they’ve learned. And they should be excited. And they should celebrate and share their triumphs.

The thing is that while there’s commonality in certain areas, there’s also incredible diversity too. There’s also no standardized lingo and terms are casually tossed around by various people in different ways. This leads to confusion.

What one person calls P-wave might be what another calls a Mini-O.

One person might be getting results from a very “active” approach and celebrating success, but that success may not be the same success we’re aiming for. Their success may be in the form of sympathetic reflex-based orgasm achieved in a novel way, so it’s important not get too caught up in what appears to be working for others.

We’re after the orgasmic state that rises from the parasympathetic nervous system and it is the opposite of active. It’s about presence.

When looking at the posts that describe success, look for inspiration from it but don’t get fussed about trying to make it work for you step by step. Let its content give you ideas to try but use those ideas loosely. Experiment. Explore. Think of them as suggestions and nothing more.

I’ll leave you with an analogy, because it’s kinda my thing…

Consult several similar recipes looking for commonality between each and use the ingredients that show up in each recipe, but get creative and start adding ingredients you think you might like and make a unique meal from scratch but “inspired by” the other recipes. Maybe it’ll be a flop, but you learned something in the process.

Or maybe, you knock it out of the park and everyone starts asking for YOUR recipe!

What was the catalyst that pushed you towards learning to become multi-orgasmic and see of you could achieve novel pleasure?

And did you have any hang-ups that you needed to psyche yourself up about before you gave yourself permission to try?

I am married and have sex about two to three times a week. How can I balance my sex life with my Mindgasm journey? What are your recommendations? Also, I am able to feel HFDO through Mindgasm, but I don’t experience it every day—only about twice a week. Please suggest how I can improve this.

Thank you

We’ve talked about how deep relaxation is incredibly important for a HFO, so for the last couple of days I’ve been really leaning into this. Focussing on meditation and breathing - 5 in, hold for 2, slowly out for 6 - and using this as an anchor to keep me in the present.

But my question is, at what point do you change your focus to your body? If I’m focussed on breathing, then I’m not focussing on sensations elsewhere.

I’m going on the assumption that once the p waves kick in, I can go back to focussing on the breathing as the body will start doing its thing, but what’s everyone’s view here?

Focus on breathing for a few minutes, then focus on growing sensations, then go back to breathing focus when things start?

Being that this community is not just about the multi-orgasmic pursuit, but also about personal growth and improving your life alongside the goal, I’d like to get some engagement with the members. Especially those that don’t feel comfortable!

And here’s why… pleasure that lies dormant within you needs you to feel comfortable before it’s going to present itself.

This journey is especially powerful for those that are anxious, often uncomfortable and spend far too much time in their head. This journey is about learning to get out of your head and into your body, but it requires safety and trust to do so. Learning to let go, which is exactly what needs to happen, will feel uncomfortable.

Growth happens from discomfort. It need not be much, but just enough to begin to stretch your existing comfort zone. The more we expose ourselves to a bit of discomfort each day, the more resilient we become all while our comfort zone begins to slowly expand.

So… I want to hear from everybody on this one. It’s a two part question.

1. What’s ONE thing you’ve already learned on this journey that the moment you learned it, it resonated deeply with you or made you begin to see your reality differently?

2. What’s something you already know you’re going to have to face head on and contend with on this journey to unlock your true pleasure potential?

I’m currently on Day 21 of the 30-day Mindgasm challenge, and while I’m enjoying the process, today was generally a frustrating day. I’m hoping those with more experience can offer some guidance on managing the mental noise and the frustration that comes with it.

To give some context, here’s how my days generally go at the moment:

I get up early and do my Mindgasm training. I really enjoy this because I can genuinely focus on the subtle sensations in my pelvic region, and it leaves me feeling positive about my progress. Later in the day, if my wife goes out, I’ll use my lunch break to have a go with my Aneros (I have a Helix Syn).

The problem is, as much as I try to replicate my morning session, I just can’t seem to get into it. I’ve tried pushing myself to get aroused beforehand, but it makes no difference.

As soon as I feel even a tiny sensation, my brain instantly takes over and I find myself saying:

- "I can feel something, I need to focus on it."
- "Is this going to grow?"
- "Try spreading it around.”

And the second I feel something stirring, I say "It’s starting to happen" in my head, and all of my muscles naturally start to tense up, forcing me to actively focus on relaxing my whole body. It’s usually at this point the sensation dies off.

Between breathing deeply, feeling for sensations, and trying to keep my entire body relaxed, it feels like a constant juggling act of competing priorities. It feels so much simpler with Mindgasm because I just listen and follow the instructions.

Today, despite my best efforts to focus on inputs rather than outputs, I got incredibly frustrated and ended up finishing with a TO. I’ve been berating myself about it ever since.

I’m starting to think using my lunch break is part of the problem. Slack notifications, as I’ve found out, are the ultimate buzzkills for trying to relax into a session!

I’d love to get your thoughts on three specific questions:

1. Why is there such a massive disconnect between Mindgasm sessions and solo sessions with my Aneros?
2. How do I actually get my brain to shut up during a session?
3. How should I view ending a session with a TO, and how do I deal with the guilt? Am I actually resetting my progress when I give in to frustration, or am I just being way too hard on myself as a beginner?

Any advice from people who have moved past this overthinking phase would be massively appreciated.

We have a tendency to think orgasm happens in the genitals, but that's actually not the case. The orgasm happens in the brain, and it's felt in the body.

This is exactly why this community isn't gender or equipment based. Every human shares the same orgasm machine: the brain.

The type of orgasm this space focuses on isn't the kind most of us are familiar with. The orgasms we learned as teens are reflex-based, part of the sympathetic nervous system. Clitoral and penile ejaculatory orgasms are closely related. Both are reflex-based, baked into the human experience to provide incentive to procreate. They feel good and give us reason to engage in sexual activity, ensuring the survival of our species. But the multi-orgasmic pleasure that's dormant within us isn't reflex-based.

The orgasmic potential that leads to the blissful states I'm talking about arises from the parasympathetic nervous system instead.

Reflex-based orgasms don't require much. Direct physical stimulation of the primary erogenous zones, plus time, will eventually get you there. No real skill involved. It's easy by design.

Parasympathetic orgasms are a completely different beast. You can't make them happen, and the biggest mistake people make is trying to. Naturally, they apply the same strategy they've used their whole lives to reach sexual pleasure, but it doesn't work here.

Reflex-based orgasms are about taking action. Outward. Control. Doing.

Parasympathetic orgasms are about being. Inward. Releasing control, relaxing, letting go.

They happen when you've created the right environment for them to find you. They don't arrive if you chase them, and the more you chase, the further away they get.

If you're new here and looking to get started on your own multi-orgasmic journey, I'd bet money on what you're actually looking for. A technique. A method. Step one of some numbered list that tells you exactly what to do with your hands, your breath, your body, so that by step seven you're somewhere you've never been.

I get it. That's how everything else in life works. You want to get better at something, you find the instructions, you follow them, you improve. Except this isn't that.

While there are a ton of guides out there, the biggest problem with trying to follow them is that what works for one person won't necessarily work for you, and attempting to follow a recipe card keeps you in your head analyzing the process rather than focusing on what you feel and what YOUR body responds to.

Nearly every guide, every toy recommendation, every technique floating around online assumes your body is already safe and trusting. Already open enough to receive whatever the instructions promise. Most people skip past that assumption without ever checking if it's true, then wonder why the technique that worked for someone else did nothing for them.

It's not the technique. It never was. The starting point is building the capacity to notice, without judgment, without a goal, without needing it to mean anything yet. For many, this is the exact thing that gets glossed over and leads to frustration.

So here's your actual first assignment.

Spend time exploring sensation on your own body with zero destination in mind. Touch, texture, temperature, pressure. Not to arouse yourself, not to achieve anything. Just to notice what's there. Where a certain kind of touch feels good, where it feels like nothing at all, where your attention wanders and requires you to bring it back. That's the whole assignment.

There is no wrong way to do this.

Afterward, write down or just contemplate what you noticed. It's not about what you achieved, but just what you noticed. You're quietly starting to build your own recipe card, one that helps you better understand your own body.

That recipe card is going to matter more than any guide ever could because this exercise meets you exactly where you're at, rather than a guide that assumes you're starting from the same place as the person who wrote it.

Progress here doesn't necessarily look like arousal, or getting closer to something specific. Progress is made because you slowed down, subtracted instead of adding, and carved out time to spend with your body without the pressure to follow a guide precisely. You practiced presence without demanding an outcome, and that skill is what everything else here is eventually going to depend on.

If you do this, come back and tell me what you noticed. There's nothing about this process that works or doesn't, it's simply just about what you notice while doing it.

I have a very analytical mind. My day job is all about analysing data, finding patterns, and forcing outcomes. So when I first heard about practices like Mindgasm, hands-free dry orgasms (HFDOs), and multi-orgasmic practice, my brain immediately treated it like a project to solve.

Spoiler alert: I have no idea what I’m doing yet, and setting that analytical approach aside is my biggest challenge right now.

I am only about three weeks into this, and I want to be completely open about where I am - which is right at the bottom of the learning curve. I haven't achieved an HFDO, and I don't yet fully know what my body wants or needs to get there. However, I am on Day 21 of using Mindgasm, and it’s slowly starting to help. I'm finally beginning to feel subtle sensations in my pelvic region. That said, everyone's body is different, and what works for me might not be the right path for someone else.

Here is what the reality of being brand new looks like for me right now:

- Unpacking my true libido: I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I don't actually know what my natural libido feels like. For decades, my sexual habits were driven purely by digital stimuli, stress, and boredom. I treated pleasure like a simple binary on/off switch. Learning to distinguish between real physical desire and habitual craving is a massive learning curve.

- I am full of questions: I am still trying to wrap my head around the interplay between mood, mindset, and physical sensation. I keep trying to force results because that's how I’ve been conditioned to operate, but I'm learning this journey requires feeling your way through rather than engineering an outcome.

- I’m starting with basic health: Since I don't have that understanding of what my body wants and needs yet, I’m focusing on what I can control. I've started hydrating more, eating better, taking daily vitamins, and trying to lower my stress and blood pressure. I'm realising my nervous system needs to be in the right space before my body will do anything new.

- Overcoming shame, barriers, and my own fake name: Vulnerability is one of my biggest hurdles. I’ve spent my life internalising societal ideas of what's "normal," building barriers, and keeping sexual desires locked away. Look at my username - "John Smith" isn't my real name. I set up this profile out of pure fear of being found out. But I'm realising that if I want to grow, I have to accept myself for who I am and stop hiding the parts of me that need to be exposed - including eventually taking the terrifying step of opening up to my wife.

- Taking baby steps at home: My wife has her own health journey to navigate, so I’m not rushing anything or looking for instant results. My hope is that by figuring myself out first, breaking down these mental barriers, and dropping my own shame, I can eventually help us rebuild our intimate connection together when the time is right.

- My ultimate goal: Restoring and deepening that intimate connection with my wife is the single most important reason I'm here. My ultimate motivation isn't just physical sensation - it's about learning who I am at my core, addressing my deep-seated vulnerabilities, and ultimately deepening the love and sexual relationship I share with her, because I love her with everything I have.

I am posting this not as someone with answers, but as someone who is going to be asking a lot of basic questions. I am learning something new every single day, mostly by failing and trying again. And importantly, trying not to get frustrated with it.

To anyone else sitting here completely confused, hiding behind an alt account, overanalysing, and feeling completely out of their depth - you’re not the only one.