After having a TO a few days back, I noticed that feelings in my pelvic region had deadened somewhat, which I guess is to be expected.

Today though, I am feeling weirdly charged, to the point where it’s almost as though I’m close to orgasming at my work desk. Not sure I’m in the headspace for it, but even writing this message it’s there. It’s very tingly and I’m constantly getting very pleasant feelings.

For example, just now I had a surge and it felt as though the feeling in my legs went weird, like they were floating in the air!

Guess this is a good sign!?!

We’ve been talking about knowing the different processes people use to bring themselves to a HFDO. We know that it’s very individual to for everyone…. But knowing the different elements might spark some ideas for those of us who are less experienced.

What do you do to trigger a HFDO? What’s your process?

I made it up to day 21 of the 30 day challenge and with all the practice I’ve been doing I realised that my muscles were shot!

I’ve made the call to give it a few days off. I’m glad I did as I’ve had sore muscles since! Think I’m gonna have to have up to 4 days off before I start again.

I’ve still been trying to do the meditation session on the off days, but…. I’m worried about my progress being affected.

Has anyone else had any experience on how they retain the sensations?

And secondly, would anyone recommend maybe going back a few days/week to revisit the previous lessons to get me back to where I was?

We’ve talked about how deep relaxation is incredibly important for a HFO, so for the last couple of days I’ve been really leaning into this. Focussing on meditation and breathing - 5 in, hold for 2, slowly out for 6 - and using this as an anchor to keep me in the present.

But my question is, at what point do you change your focus to your body? If I’m focussed on breathing, then I’m not focussing on sensations elsewhere.

I’m going on the assumption that once the p waves kick in, I can go back to focussing on the breathing as the body will start doing its thing, but what’s everyone’s view here?

Focus on breathing for a few minutes, then focus on growing sensations, then go back to breathing focus when things start?

I’m currently on Day 21 of the 30-day Mindgasm challenge, and while I’m enjoying the process, today was generally a frustrating day. I’m hoping those with more experience can offer some guidance on managing the mental noise and the frustration that comes with it.

To give some context, here’s how my days generally go at the moment:

I get up early and do my Mindgasm training. I really enjoy this because I can genuinely focus on the subtle sensations in my pelvic region, and it leaves me feeling positive about my progress. Later in the day, if my wife goes out, I’ll use my lunch break to have a go with my Aneros (I have a Helix Syn).

The problem is, as much as I try to replicate my morning session, I just can’t seem to get into it. I’ve tried pushing myself to get aroused beforehand, but it makes no difference.

As soon as I feel even a tiny sensation, my brain instantly takes over and I find myself saying:

- "I can feel something, I need to focus on it."
- "Is this going to grow?"
- "Try spreading it around.”

And the second I feel something stirring, I say "It’s starting to happen" in my head, and all of my muscles naturally start to tense up, forcing me to actively focus on relaxing my whole body. It’s usually at this point the sensation dies off.

Between breathing deeply, feeling for sensations, and trying to keep my entire body relaxed, it feels like a constant juggling act of competing priorities. It feels so much simpler with Mindgasm because I just listen and follow the instructions.

Today, despite my best efforts to focus on inputs rather than outputs, I got incredibly frustrated and ended up finishing with a TO. I’ve been berating myself about it ever since.

I’m starting to think using my lunch break is part of the problem. Slack notifications, as I’ve found out, are the ultimate buzzkills for trying to relax into a session!

I’d love to get your thoughts on three specific questions:

1. Why is there such a massive disconnect between Mindgasm sessions and solo sessions with my Aneros?
2. How do I actually get my brain to shut up during a session?
3. How should I view ending a session with a TO, and how do I deal with the guilt? Am I actually resetting my progress when I give in to frustration, or am I just being way too hard on myself as a beginner?

Any advice from people who have moved past this overthinking phase would be massively appreciated.

I have a very analytical mind. My day job is all about analysing data, finding patterns, and forcing outcomes. So when I first heard about practices like Mindgasm, hands-free dry orgasms (HFDOs), and multi-orgasmic practice, my brain immediately treated it like a project to solve.

Spoiler alert: I have no idea what I’m doing yet, and setting that analytical approach aside is my biggest challenge right now.

I am only about three weeks into this, and I want to be completely open about where I am - which is right at the bottom of the learning curve. I haven't achieved an HFDO, and I don't yet fully know what my body wants or needs to get there. However, I am on Day 21 of using Mindgasm, and it’s slowly starting to help. I'm finally beginning to feel subtle sensations in my pelvic region. That said, everyone's body is different, and what works for me might not be the right path for someone else.

Here is what the reality of being brand new looks like for me right now:

- Unpacking my true libido: I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I don't actually know what my natural libido feels like. For decades, my sexual habits were driven purely by digital stimuli, stress, and boredom. I treated pleasure like a simple binary on/off switch. Learning to distinguish between real physical desire and habitual craving is a massive learning curve.

- I am full of questions: I am still trying to wrap my head around the interplay between mood, mindset, and physical sensation. I keep trying to force results because that's how I’ve been conditioned to operate, but I'm learning this journey requires feeling your way through rather than engineering an outcome.

- I’m starting with basic health: Since I don't have that understanding of what my body wants and needs yet, I’m focusing on what I can control. I've started hydrating more, eating better, taking daily vitamins, and trying to lower my stress and blood pressure. I'm realising my nervous system needs to be in the right space before my body will do anything new.

- Overcoming shame, barriers, and my own fake name: Vulnerability is one of my biggest hurdles. I’ve spent my life internalising societal ideas of what's "normal," building barriers, and keeping sexual desires locked away. Look at my username - "John Smith" isn't my real name. I set up this profile out of pure fear of being found out. But I'm realising that if I want to grow, I have to accept myself for who I am and stop hiding the parts of me that need to be exposed - including eventually taking the terrifying step of opening up to my wife.

- Taking baby steps at home: My wife has her own health journey to navigate, so I’m not rushing anything or looking for instant results. My hope is that by figuring myself out first, breaking down these mental barriers, and dropping my own shame, I can eventually help us rebuild our intimate connection together when the time is right.

- My ultimate goal: Restoring and deepening that intimate connection with my wife is the single most important reason I'm here. My ultimate motivation isn't just physical sensation - it's about learning who I am at my core, addressing my deep-seated vulnerabilities, and ultimately deepening the love and sexual relationship I share with her, because I love her with everything I have.

I am posting this not as someone with answers, but as someone who is going to be asking a lot of basic questions. I am learning something new every single day, mostly by failing and trying again. And importantly, trying not to get frustrated with it.

To anyone else sitting here completely confused, hiding behind an alt account, overanalysing, and feeling completely out of their depth - you’re not the only one.

Finally decided to upgrade from my Aneros Helix. Given all of the positive comments found here, I’ve upgraded to the Progasm. And in a moment of madness, I added an Njoy Wand to the basket too…

God help me!

Today, I managed to do it. I was sat at my desk working when I felt it start to build. Managed to close my eyes and ride it out and I finally achieved a HFDO. This time I can be completely confident in what it was. And it was completely unaided, no toys, just some pelvic floor involuntaries.

But…. My heart rate rose so much and the pressure inside of me spiked to such a degree that I had some chest pains. Got over them after a few seconds but that really threw me off my game and I’ve not been able to get anywhere near it again since.

Thinks it’s playing on my mind now. Although I have realised since that if actually worked straight through my lunch and hadn’t eaten anything all day (it was nearly 5pm).

Going to have to see the doc as I don’t want this to become a mental block for me.

Question for you all though…. After a while, does the HR begin to settle? Or does anyone have any tips for helping with this besides breathing properly?

Today, I managed to do it. I was sat at my desk working when I felt it start to build. Managed to close my eyes and ride it out and I finally achieved a HFDO. This time I can be completely confident in what it was. And it was completely unaided, no toys, just some pelvic floor involuntaries.

But…. My heart rate rose so much and the pressure inside of me spiked to such a degree that I had some chest pains. Got over them after a few seconds but that really threw me off my game and I’ve not been able to get anywhere near it again since.

Think it’s playing on my mind now. Although I have realised since that i’d actually worked straight through my lunch and hadn’t eaten anything all day (it was nearly 5pm).

Going to have to see the doc as I don’t want this to become a mental block for me.

Question for you all though…. After a while, does the HR begin to settle? Or does anyone have any tips for helping with this besides breathing properly?

Today has been a really strange day. Woke up first thing and did my Mindgasm training for the day like normal. Had practically no sensations in my pelvic region at all which isn’t necessarily uncommon, so i started work as normal (I work from home).

My wife went out for a few hours in the afternoon so I took an hour to have a go with my aneros. Had absolutely no sensations at all, which actually left me feeling really frustrated. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get my prostate to ‘wake up’. Gave up in the end.

It got to the evening, sat on the sofa next to my wife, and I was doing a few exercises on my pelvic floor, then my wife needed to go up to the toilet. Whilst sat there in the room alone I started to hold some of my pelvic floor muscles. They immediately started twitching involuntarily. Didn’t feel anything for a few minutes but then the pleasure started to build. This was really surprising considering the day up to now. But after a couple more minutes my wife came back down so I stopped, but I could feel my prostate thumping inside of me.

Went to bed about an hour later and led on my side to go to sleep. I could feel a lot of warmth in my pelvic region, and that was when the sensation started to build again. And I didn’t even do anything. For about 45 minutes I went through cycles of sensations escalating rapidly, only for my heart to start thumping so hard it was nearly coming out of my chest. Then it would settle and I’d relax, then up again, heart rate would race, then relax. This cycle would continue until I changed position and eventually fell asleep.

It’s now 2am and I’ve woken up as my wife has just come to bed. The sensation is still there but thankfully no where near as intense as earlier.

Despite the disappointing and frustrating day, I’d say this was the closest I’ve gotten to an orgasm so far, and without any toys at all. It’s funny how a day can start and end so differently.

One of the key elements of Mindgasm is the removal of porn. In the main, I’ve been good at this but there have been times I’ve slipped due to what I see on social media.

I’ve since removed myself from all NSFW communities (apart from the ones helping me), but arousing material is still everywhere!

Let’s take Reddit as an example…. I scroll down my Home Screen and it’s filled with images of women wearing tight fitting clothes with low cut tops…. And even when I hide them, they return again and again!

From everyone’s experience, how important is this? These are not extreme images in any way, shape or form, but they still trigger a reaction in me. Clearly the lack of masturbation is doing the right thing…. But if the focus is purely on internalising pleasure, should I be avoiding it entirely?

I’ve just finished day 15 of Mindgasm - The Top. My previous expectation of what the top was was completely and utterly wrong. Before today I thought it was a physical muscle! And holy cow….

The sensation from it hit me like a ton of bricks. How can something so abstract make such a profound feeling?? How does this even make sense?? But amazingly it does.

My mind was blown! I had to pause the session before the rest of the exercises because it made me really emotional! This journey really is incredible.

UPDATE:

So turns out it is an actual muscle, which I was able to actualise moving! Been practicing whilst sat at my desk and I’ve been tingling all day! (Not conducive to productive work I might add….)

So that leads me on to ask about the pelvic floor muscle groups…. I’ve seen the diagrams that people have shared, and they don’t tally up with what I’m feeling…. I’m counting 5 distinct areas I’m able to contract/use - 2 that I’ve not heard mention at all. Am I imagining this?
- Base
- Centre
- one between base and centre (no idea, but it’s there)
- now top - which pulls the penis in
- one at the root (using the term from the top training) which makes the penis stand up.

Had my first listen to a Shibby Audio file the other day - the Super O track. Was really interesting, and when it got to the part where she pushes fingers into you to stroke your prostate, the sensation in my prostate jumped massively.

It got me wondering - I’ve heard people say that they visualise their prostate. Some saying things like blowing on embers, others channeling energy to it. Is this a vital part of increasing sensations and pushing toward orgasm?

Question…. My wife mentioned to me earlier that she found me asleep one night last week with the Mindgasm app playing out loud on my phone. She asked me what it was and I said it’s just a meditation app. Tbh, I wouldn’t be surprised if she immediately researched what it was online and that she really knows what it is, but I quickly moved the conversation on.

I’m historically terrible at having these conversations…. I get really embarrassed, even with my wife. Clearly I need to be more open with her about this, as I’d love to share the experience with her, but even in my 40s I have a massive fear of judgement and i guess a sense of shame. I know I shouldn’t, but it’s just the way I’m made.

How would you guys approach this?

Been using my Aneros helix on and off for a couple of weeks. Maybe every couple of days. But seem to get an uncomfortable feeling right at the very top when contracting fully. Was using to today and I was only flexing lightly to reduce this feeling. Does anyone else get this? Wondering if it’s because I’m still relatively new to it all?

Been using my helix on and off for a couple of weeks. Maybe every couple of days. But seem to get an uncomfortable feeling right at the very top when contracting fully. Was using to today and I was only flexing lightly to reduce this feeling. Does anyone else get this? Wondering if it’s because I’m still relatively new to it all?

I’ve seen that quite a few posts on here have highlighted on how their wives libido has skyrocketed when on HRT. Sadly due to a cancer diagnosis a few years back, my wife is now on hormone suppressants - which has the opposite effect. She also had a single mastectomy so she finds intimate times challenging (ps - she’s all clear and well now thankfully!)

I’m wondering if anyone else has had any experience in dealing with this scenario?

I’d love to help reinvigorate things between us. I’ve been treading carefully for years and I want her to know that I am absolutely sexually attracted to her!

A question for the wives out there…. I’ve been getting into prostate play lately and am working on triggering hands-free orgasms. I’ve also bought myself an anal toy. I’d love to bring this into the bedroom with her.

My wife doesn’t really have a sex drive at all (or at least to my knowledge!) and I’m hoping that bringing something new to the equation would help spice things up a little.

What would be your advice for broaching this subject? I really don’t want to cause any friction or judgement and I’d love to share these experiences with her

How many sessions do people have per week, and do orgasms get more intense after a few days off? (I’m assuming they do like everything else!)