r/bdsmconfessions

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So after quite a while of talking online, I finally agreed to meet my Dom in real life.

I was nervous in that very specific “this is either going to be a night to remember or a cautionary tale I tell my friends later” kind of way. I don’t have much in-person D/s experience, but I knew enough to know he wasn’t exactly going to be the soft-launch type. And that, for reasons I still can’t fully explain, felt both exciting and mildly terrifying.

We met at a popular dumplings spot. He let me choose that at the very least.

The conversation started off pleasant enough… but I could tell he was already testing the waters. Subtle little pushes. Observing reactions. That calm, patient kind of attention that makes you suddenly very aware of your posture, your hands, your existence as a whole.

At some point he ordered wine for me because apparently I “don’t have refined wine taste.”

He wasn’t wrong.

After food, we moved to another spot for drinks. I was starting to relax… briefly.

Then I walked in front of him and he casually smacked my ass like it was the most normal punctuation in the world.

My brain did a full system reboot. I chose silence. My dignity chose denial. Something else… woke up.

By the time we got to the second place, it was small, quiet, almost empty. Very intimate. Very “you can hear your thoughts and unfortunately so can he.”

I was sitting opposite him trying to follow the conversation like a normal human, but honestly I was fighting for my life internally. He has this way of looking at you that makes concentration feel like a suggestion rather than a requirement.

Then, out of nowhere, he asked for my consent.

Not in a casual way. In a very direct, very intentional way.

And I froze.

Not because I didn’t know the answer—but because I suddenly understood the weight of what the answer meant. I tried to dodge it with questions. He didn’t let me. Just held eye contact like he had all the time in the world.

Eventually, I said yes.

After that, everything shifted.

We left and ended up walking near a dark parking area, and I genuinely had no idea where the night was heading anymore. My thoughts were moving faster than I was.

He kissed me.

And suddenly the entire world narrowed down to that moment.

From there, things escalated quickly—no more ambiguity, no more guessing games. Just intensity, chemistry, and that very specific feeling of “oh… this is happening.”

At some point he asked where I wanted to go next.

I did what I always do when I’m overwhelmed: absolutely nothing useful.

He made the decision for me.

We went to his hotel.

And the rest of the night? Let’s just say reality stopped being particularly important for a while.

What I will say is this: I went in nervous, came out… significantly less composed, and with a much clearer understanding of what “dynamic” actually means when it stops being theoretical.

Anyway. This was technically part of a task to earn permission to cum.

So here is my story.

As for what happens next?

Apparently only he knows.

I'm completely aware of how toxic he is and I hate myself for wanting him. I can't seem to shake him off or give myself a chance to invest in someone else, nor give myself the time off as I'm in constant need for a dom and to be in that feel of being a sub.

I met him online, we talked and I instantly liked how he approached me and his mindset as a dominant. we had a little call/session but got interrupted and ended the call, and he didn't text me after nor responded to me. a couple days I texted him again and he responded saying he's no longer interested because I didn't want to share pics which I was clear about from the very beginning. said he couldn't have a dynamic with no pics.

I'm not sure what drew me to him with this intensity, but after that short call/session, he was all I think about. so a few days pass and I express to him how I miss him and want it to work. we talked and he made it clear he needed the pics and we stopped talking. later on, he texted me saying that I cross his mind, we talked a bit and stopped.

after that it was always me who reached out to him. and we talked about the pics situation, I explained why I don't share and he explained why he needs them and so on and try to convince me to try and such. which I eventually caved in and did decide to try.

we started talking regularly and have light sessions, where I share pics. till he had a family thing ig and couldn't text me for a week, which I hated cause I can't comprehend that someone is that busy to not be able to send more than 2 texts for a whole week. we ended it. some time pass I text him again and we talk, end it cause of how inconsistent and dismissive he is with me. and this happened again 2 times, so we reconciled 5 times overall.

till the last interaction that was like 3 weeks ago or so. I needed him so i called and he replied with frustration cause I would end it and reach out to him again. we talked a bit to which I concluded and expressed that to him that he will only see things from his side and not mine, he will forever dismiss me and not care about the things I want. and I told him that I'll try my best not to contact him again which made him a bit mad I think. and we didn't text at all after the call.

then the next day I called, and he answered to which we talked about how to improve and he'll try to give me more of his time and so on till it lead to a session. he demanded a lot of pics/vids this time way more than normal which I obliged cause I naively believed he would try to be better with me. and this was the only session he gave me permission to cum.

we ended the call with no aftercare. he just said that he'll be busy the 2 next days and goodnight. and through those 2 days he only texted once saying that he had a busy day. I tried texting him but no response. I blocked him and deleted my acc.

this last interaction left me with very bad feelings. I felt used, abused, and alone with self hatred and blame as to how I allow such thing to happen to me. yet after all of this, I still feel that intense need for him. for some odd reason he's all I think about and want. which makes me hate myself even more for needing an asshole like him.

thank you for reading all that I'm aware it's very long, but I just needed to pour my heart out. I can't really share any of this to my close friends. I need to move on and forget him. but I feel like it's hard since he was like the only dom who satisfied what I crave, that submissive feel I desired to be in. I feel like he knew and understood what I need as a submissive.

I don't know what to do and how, this is frustrating and awful to feel. with just immense self hatred.

My Daddy makes me feel tingly from head to toe. It’s not the first time either. Quite different from an orgasm. It’s like being high or something.

I’m a bit extra feral today so we were having some playtime. Mid playtime I feel my entire body start from my toes to my head just blissful tingling (not an orgasm).

I asked him afterwards if he ever gets that feeling. He didn’t recall any specific moment which he did or has in the past. I told him I have on a few occasions. Afterwards I just knead the bed or his body until I am back to my normal self again.

He called it euphoria/bliss. Lol I’m calling it my Daddy makes me feel high.

Im a college student, and a few weeks ago i was bored and lonely at home, scrolling through an app when I matched with an older businessman. At first I thought it would just be another awkward conversation, where i could talk about my needs and it would be too much for him, but he immediately took control in a way that surprised me. Right when we exchange numbers, he videocall me, i could see how horny he became watching me in my pajamas and he demanded my adress, i dont know if it was luck but i was alone at home but i said no and he just ignored me "send it". I got so wet,

When we met, I realized how much I loved the feeling of being wanted by someone older, experienced, and demanding. He treated me like I existed for his attention alone, my prazer didnt matter at all, if he kissed me i was because he wanted, when he sucked my pussy it was because he wanted and soon as he feel like it put it in, he jut bent me over and put it inside me, like a mere fuckdoll, and somehow that made me feel more desired than I ever had before. What started as one reckless night slowly turned into something addictive.

Over time, he started calling me whenever he was horny, and i went. Im always looking at my ohoine waiting for his message, friday after work he always took his time with me, using me in every way possible. The dynamic between us became intense in a way I never expected. He spoiled me, took care of me financially, but always made sure I earned it in ways that left me feeling small, embarrassed, and weirdly fulfilled at the same time. And i can't complain, kissing his feet, bowing for him and obeying all his orders make me so horny and the humiliation became my favorite part cause it made me feel completely owned by him.

I just hated how much I needed his approval after that.

A week ago, he traveled to another state for work, and I didn’t expect that his absence affect me this much. I kept checking my phone hoping he would look for me. He told me he’d be back in a few months, but ever since he left I’ve felt restless, lonely, and honestly a little abandoned.

I never thought one impulsive match on an app would turn me into this kind of girl, but now I can’t imagine going back to who I was before him. Im sure that i would never be able to have normal relationships again..

Master has started to potty train me so that i can be a good slave animal.

i am now only allowed to pee while wearing panties. if i am naked, which is often because Master likes when i am exposed and embarrassed, i have to ask for His permission to put on panties so that i can piss myself.

i pee on the floor or, if i am lucky, the bath tub. i am not allowed to pee using the toilet, that is for people and i am a bitch... Master’s bitch.

i am so lucky to have a Master like mine. To degrade me and put me in my place. He is so patient to potty train me. Master cares so much that He makes me take pictures and record videos of me pissing myself, letting me know how pathetic i am for making a mess. He wants the lesson to sink in, which is why He is making me write this confession.

Master is so generous, who knows what i would do if i didn’t know how to pee properly. It’s so embarrassing, but my embarrassment amuses Him and that is the most important.