u/Acrobatic-Plate-3536

With the sea of M4F posts out there, let’s skip the boring intros and get right to the good stuff, why you should message me…

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

If you needed a sign… this is where you’d shoot a message introducing yourself… I’ll let the thought linger with you.

Married and not looking to change anyone’s situation.

Here's what they are saying about Me:

“He's really tall. Great for getting things off high shelves" - That small old lady at the shops

"Smells great. Nothing like a Koala." - Person who sat next to him on the plane during his last trip to America.

“Has a great taste in music and tv shows /movies. Always spot on with his recommendations.” - Guy he works with.

"Doesn't Ghost" - Ex AP 1

"I didn't mind his cooties." - Sophie, middle school crush

"The authoritative voice is a turn-on. I could listen to that man read the phone book." - Local Barista

"He watched some of my 'girl' shows with me and didn't try change the channel to the basketball" - W

"He's a nice man. You could do worse!" - Your mum (probably)

"He makes the world’s greatest pancakes." — His son

"Really a good kisser. He gave me an "Aussie Kiss." - Ex AP 2

“Easy on the eyes. Very easy on the eyes." - Girl at his gym

"My cheeks hurt after talking to him.” - You hopefully

If the glowing reviews have piqued your interest… here’s more totally non biased information about me:

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

Not looking to change my situation or yours 💚

Here's what they are saying about Me:

“He's really tall. Great for getting things off high shelves" - That small old lady at the shops

"Smells great. Nothing like a Koala." - Person who sat next to him on the plane during his last trip to America.

“Has a great taste in music and tv shows /movies. Always spot on with his recommendations.” - Guy he works with.

"Doesn't Ghost" - Ex AP 1

"I didn't mind his cooties." - Sophie, middle school crush

"The authoritative voice is a turn-on. I could listen to that man read the phone book." - Local Barista

"He watched some of my 'girl' shows with me and didn't try change the channel to the basketball" - W

"He's a nice man. You could do worse!" - Your mum (probably)

"He makes the world’s greatest pancakes." — His son

"Really a good kisser. He gave me an "Aussie Kiss." - Ex AP 2

“Easy on the eyes. Very easy on the eyes." - Girl at his gym

"My cheeks hurt after talking to him.” - You hopefully

If the glowing reviews have piqued your interest… here’s more totally non biased information about me:

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

Not looking to change my situation or yours 💚

I knew you’d click… With the sea of M4F posts out there, let’s skip the boring intros and get right to the good stuff, why you should message me…

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

I’m just dropping something intriguing into your day and seeing what you do with it.

Though if you needed a sign… this is where you’d shoot a message introducing yourself…

I’ll let the thought linger with you…

Married and not looking to change anyone’s situation

Here's what they are saying about Me:

“He's really tall. Great for getting things off high shelves" - That small old lady at the shops

"Smells great. Nothing like a Koala." - Person who sat next to him on the plane during his last trip to America.

“Has a great taste in music and tv shows /movies. Always spot on with his recommendations.” - Guy he works with.

"Doesn't Ghost" - Ex AP 1

"I didn't mind his cooties." - Sophie, middle school crush

"The authoritative voice is a turn-on. I could listen to that man read the phone book." - Local Barista

"He watched some of my 'girl' shows with me and didn't try change the channel to the basketball" - W

"He's a nice man. You could do worse!" - Your mum (probably)

"He makes the world’s greatest pancakes." — His son

"Really a good kisser. He gave me an "Aussie Kiss." - Ex AP 2

“Easy on the eyes. Very easy on the eyes." - Girl at his gym

"My cheeks hurt after talking to him.” - You hopefully

If the glowing reviews have piqued your interest… here’s more totally non biased information about me:

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

Not looking to change my situation or yours 💚

Here's what they are saying about Me:

“He's really tall. Great for getting things off high shelves." - That small old lady at the shops

"Smells great. Nothing like a Koala." - Person who sat next to him on the plane during his last trip to America.

“Has a great taste in music and tv shows /movies. Always spot on with his recommendations." - Guy he works with.

"Doesn't Ghost." - Ex AP 1

"I didn't mind his cooties." - Sophie, middle school crush

"The authoritative voice is a turn-on. I could listen to that man read the phone book." - Local Barista

"He watched some of my 'girl' shows with me and didn't try change the channel to the basketball." - W

"He's a nice man. You could do worse!" - Your mum (probably)

"He makes the world’s greatest pancakes." — His son

"Really a good kisser. He gave me an "Aussie Kiss." - Ex AP 2

"Easy on the eyes. Very easy on the eyes." - Girl at his gym

"My cheeks hurt after talking to him.” - You hopefully

If the glowing reviews have piqued your interest… here’s more totally non biased information about me:

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

Not looking to change my situation or yours 💚

Here's what they are saying about Me:

"He's really tall. Great for getting things off high shelves." - That small old lady at the shops

"Smells great. Nothing like a Koala." - Person who sat next to him on the plane during his last trip to America.

“Has a great taste in music and tv shows /movies. Always spot on with his recommendations."** - Guy he works with.

“Doesn't Ghost." - Ex AP 1

“I didn't mind his cooties." - Sophie, middle school crush

“The authoritative voice is a turn-on. I could listen to that man read the phone book." - Local Barista

“He watched some of my 'girl' shows with me and didn't try change the channel to the basketball." W

“He's a nice man. You could do worse!" - Your mum (probably)

“ He makes the world’s greatest pancakes."— His son

“Really a good kisser. He gave me an "Aussie Kiss." - Ex AP 2

"Easy on the eyes. Very easy on the eyes." - Girl at his gym

"My cheeks hurt after talking to him.” - You hopefully

If the glowing reviews have piqued your interest… here’s more totally non biased information about me:

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

**The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?**

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

**Not looking to change my situation or yours** 💚

My Aussie girls are such a rare breed on here… where are all y’all at?!?

Let’s skip the mundane, generic intro and get straight to the good stuff… Why you should message me:

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, takes care of herself, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

I’m just dropping something intriguing into your day and seeing what you do with it. Though if you needed a sign… this is where you’d shoot a message introducing yourself…

I’ll let the thought linger with you…

Married and not looking to change anyone’s situation

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful Mums of MBC! I hope y’all get spoilt rotten or atleast have some much needed time to yourselves. If no one has told you today… we are thankful for all y’all do, your incredible💚

While your here, let’s skip the boring intros and get right to the good stuff, why you should message me…

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

If you needed a sign… this is where you’d shoot a message introducing yourself… I’ll let the thought linger with you.

Married and not looking to change anyone’s situation.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful Mums of OA! I hope y’all get spoilt rotten or atleast have some much needed time to yourselves. If no one has told you today… we are thankful for all y’all do, your incredible💚

While your here, let’s skip the boring intros and get right to the good stuff, why you should message me…

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

If you needed a sign… this is where you’d shoot a message introducing yourself… I’ll let the thought linger with you.

Married and not looking to change anyone’s situation.

Welcome to my completely biased guide to AFFAIRS. Please wipe your feet and leave your ego and dignity at the door…

For the Men (a loving intervention)

• No dick pics

Decided to put this one first cause the consensus I’ve been getting from the ladies is y’all won’t quit with the dick pics. For the love of all things trust me on this, NO woman on here wants to see your unimpressive hog within the first couple of messages, and if they do, your probably talking to a scammer or a dude. Trust me, if the chemistry and vibes are right the time will come to show off that glorious 3 inches… but until then… just enjoy the convo, build up and fun.

• Don’t get sexual immediately

Think with your **top** head, not your bottom one. Pretty self explanatory fellas. If it’s too good to be true it probably is. If she’s 22 and says she has perky naturals, she’s not looking to settle down with you my guy, she’s (or should i say he’s) trying to extort you. Those posts are just about as real as those ads you get saying there are local MILFs in your area.

• Put in effort

“Hey” is not a valid response. You are competing with 200 other men who also typed “hey.” Be different. Show off some of your personality and talk about who you are. A little effort in the first message goes along way. You’re an interesting dude, act accordingly.

• Be able to hold a conversation

One-word replies are the online equivalent of stubbing your big toe on the coffee table… just painful. Pro tip… the post you just read has tons of conversation ideas to help you. She literally gave you a dump of information for you to use to keep the conversation going. Not hard. It’s already hard enough for you in this cesspool, don’t make it even harder by being dry.

• READ THE POST

If she says “only EST,” only respond if your in EST

If she says “Not looking for sexting,” maybe don’t send a photo of your pecker. Basic rule of thumb… read… that’s it… you’re just wasting time that you probably should be giving your wife if you don’t read the post before responding. Again these posts are a literal cheat sheet on how to approach a conversation / interaction with said person. Not rocket science my guys.

• Stop using AI

They can tell. Look go ahead if you want to make your illiterate ass message more coherent… but when it’s just AI slop they can tell. Also this symbol ‘—‘ is a dead giveaway that AI wrote your message cause no one on the face of this planet uses that symbol. So if you choose to ignore me, atleast remove that symbol from your message.

Don’t be creepy

Fellas I can’t stress this enough… stop being weird. These girls don’t owe you anything, stop asking them about the most personal shit or asking for stuff too quick. Yall are giving us men a bad name on here.

---

For the Women (also said with love from my humble experiences in this cesspool)

• If you want effort, show effort

Same goes for y’all. Quit complaining about the men on here and their effort when yall are often just as bad. I get it I get it, you have the monopoly and don’t really need to try… but you only have yourself to blame when you get ghosted. Effort Is sexy to the RIGHT man. If there is no effort you’re just wasting your time, time that you probably should be giving to your husband.

• Attraction

I get it, you’re getting 300 DMs (Yes I know many are not quality) from guys and probably getting more attention than you have in a while. Amazing… so great for you queen… love that for you! But let’s have some humility and stop acting like Gods gift to this earth. We are on reddit… let’s chill. If a post says be VERY ATTRACTIVE (I know attraction is subjective), but please do some reflection. We aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay (men included). Just go to the next post…. Your knight in shining armour is just 1 post away.

• Be clear about what you want

Emotional connection? A boyfriend? Casual flirting? Long-term OA? Someone to text on those lonely nights?

Spell. It. Out. Us men are literal idiots. Trust me, this will stop you from banging your head against the wall 100 times a day.

• Be able to hold a conversation

I’m calling y’all out on this one too. If you can’t hold a conversation, don’t be surprised when you wake up and you’re blocked or get ghosted. It’s not hard, us men are the simplest of creatures. We will talk about anything and everything. And if we don’t, then it’s not the right connection for you. Them one word responses or letting the guy carry the conversation is just wasting your time and effort.

• Ghosting

You are not the first and certainly won’t be the last. Remember majority of us men are Neanderthals with the brain activity of a farm potato… so don’t get too offended. It’s the name of this game. It fucking sucks… I know… but life goes on. There are a hundreds of guys out there waiting to snatch you up.

---

For Everyone

• This is still the internet. Protect your privacy.

• Don’t be desperate. There are people on here that will take advantage of that and not in the good way.

• If it feels forced, it is.

• If it feels fun, enjoy it.

• If it feels sketchy, run.

As I need to make this a seeking post to fit in with the subs rules… here’s a cheeky little plug… so hit me up if you fit the below… but I’ve lost hope and don’t even know why I try…

YOU

\- Aged 25–45

\- Very attractive (heavy emphasis here)and takes care of herself. Active and fit.

\- Can hold a real conversation

\- Asks questions and shows curiosity

\- Emotionally intelligent and open-minded

\- Confident, fun, and enjoys a bit of flirtatious back-and-forth

\- Married and values discretion and mutual respect

\- Interested in chemistry, connection, and keeping things exciting

\- Willing to exchange photos early to see if the attraction is there.

ME

\- I’m laid back. Zero drama, zero pressure.

\- Tall (over 6ft if that matters).

\- Fit, active, and take care of myself.

\- Conventionally attractive (not my words, I’ll let you decide).

\- Australian, which means I come with an accent and sarcasm as a second language.

\- Funny (at least I think so, you'll have to be the judge).

\- I actually enjoy good conversation and know how to listen.

\- Married and respectful of boundaries and discretion (yours and mine).

\- I get the appeal of an escape, a spark, a connection that lives outside the day-to-day.

ONLINE AFFAIRS from my experience can be messy, fun, disappointing, intoxicating, and occasionally magical.

Play nice, try harder and be kind to eachother. Oh And if you want to get offended by this post, tell me in the comments rather than dm’ing me.

Good luck out there ya filthy animals 🫡

With the sea of M4F posts out there, let’s skip the boring intros and get right to the good stuff, why you should message me…

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

If you needed a sign… this is where you’d shoot a message introducing yourself… I’ll let the thought linger with you.

Married and not looking to change anyone’s situation.

With the sea of M4F posts out there, let’s skip the boring intros and get right to the good stuff, why you should message me…

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

If you needed a sign… this is where you’d shoot a message introducing yourself… I’ll let the thought linger with you.

Married and not looking to change anyone’s situation.

With the sea of M4F posts out there, let’s skip the boring intros and get right to the good stuff, why you should message me…

I’m 32 with the usual traits people like to mention and brag about, so seeing as you asked… I’m tall (great for all my short girls who can’t reach that top shelf), fit (won’t catch me running a marathon but you will catch me at the gym), Conventionally attractive (from what I’ve been told from all you lovely Reddit people), easygoing (most laid back guy you will meet), Australian (Banter and sarcasm is my second language), Can actually hold a conversation and loves to listen (just ask my wife)… oh and I make a the best pancakes in the world (according to my kid).

The kind of woman who’d resonate with this?

Probably someone between 25 and 45, confident, attractive (Let’s not pretend like attraction doesn’t matter), fit, intelligent, playful, curious. Someone who loves a conversation and can actually hold one. Just looking for my Reddit unicorn… Is that too much to ask?

If you needed a sign… this is where you’d shoot a message introducing yourself… I’ll let the thought linger with you.

Married and not looking to change anyone’s situation.