u/Crafty-Community9656

I guess I'm going to sound like a complete sociopath for doing this but I cannot let things go so I did it. A while ago I reported a ad on personalbdsm and I also asked in their community if they would take reporting seriously. they jumped on me and said you are kink shaming, there is no need to report, they blocked me from the community and blocked my account on their site too. so I messaged the person who made the ad because I'm that kind of person and needed to prove to at least myself I was not wrong. we get to talking and guess what? I was right. I reported his ad because he was asking for an absuive relationship. people in the community kept telling me "no it is just a fantasy". when I asked him so you mean you like role-playing as a very abusive person? he said no the word "role playing" is a huge turn off for me. I want to actually abuse and I want to break someone so much they would never leave. I told him but it must be just a fantasy for you, otherwise you would just go out find a random girl, court her and then abuse her, but you dont do that, you post ads to let others come to you. and he said "why do you assume I never do that?". apparently he had a girlfriend who he beat regularly and reduced her contact from family and support groups until she finally escaped to her own country.

long story short. I was right, anyone who advertises such abusive kinks is actually an abuser. he was not looking for roleplay, not fantasy. he was genuinely looking for someone to abuse and he was frustrated that anyone he talks too eventually blocks him. (because everyone messaged him for the fantasy of being abused, but he literally wanted to abuse. so they blocked him). I'm saying this here to let you all know that you need to be careful. and also fuck the moderators of that community who tried to silence me but this actual abuser with an ex girlfriend on the run form him is still there and still free to advertise himself!

I dont understand how this happens, I understand ghosting or blocking if the session was not how they imagined, I understand they could have lied that they enjoyed the session. but deleting the whole account? is this some kind of "dom drop"? if I was blocked or ghosted I would have imagined they hooked up with someone else more compatible. but this is just weird. It's like getting cold feet and that's why I feel they were either cheaters or just not serious. can any dom here explain to me why some of you do this?

Hi everyone, I'm having trouble vetting a Dom based on the vetting article I read here. I try to stay serious but I get flirty myself too fast, not him, but me! For example, I was asking him one of the questions from the article, "how much authority and control would they like in their ideal dynamic?". and he explained it to me really well, it matched my desires too. But I got turned on by imagining the things he explained and got sexual flirty in the middle of vetting before even starting any dynamic. I have no idea how to fix this issue of mine. Should I just answer "yes that matches me perfectly"? or is it okay to slowly get flirty before agreeing to the dynamic? How do you control yourselves when you are very into him and his style but he still is not your Dom? Should I just out right say "okay I'm in"? I don't want to call him Sir before we actually negotiate everything, because I know pretty well if someone expected me to call them sir during the knowing process I will block them. but at the moment, my submissive mind enjoys their answer a lot and wants to give in before finishing the full vetting process. I'm getting so annoyed with myself!