u/Ectoplasmic_Capybara

I'm a glass half full type, the type of man that is so positive it absolutely annoys some people to no end. Sarcasm is one of my love languages, the others being words of affirmation and physical touch (though I know that is kind of difficult given that this is the online space we currently inhabit). When you find your secret universe person, things fall into place. You are instantly on the same wavelength, laughing together and sharing everything. It is refreshing, and needed, after years of searching, yearning, craving.

I know this will sound cocky, but I'm going to say it anyway, I'm not bad looking. No, I am not a Greek God nor am I a fitness model with a 12 inch cock... to be honest I'm not even sure how that would work in every day life, but I'm not someone who will make you recoil in terror and rethink your life choices. And I know you're not a lingerie model with a body carved from stone. Neither of us are perfect, that our imperfections are what make us... us. And that's what I want, a woman I can lust over, and who will lust over me in equal measure. A woman who I can make wet with my words and my body, just as she can get my blood pumping both before and after I see her. I take care of myself and care about my appearance, and you do as well.

I want my swirling black hole to get entangled with. That connection that begins as friendly banter with a lot of laughter and equal communication. My equal that understands my situation and limitations but we still make time for each other. Someone who will send me pics throughout the day because they know I'll love that specific tree or flower or their cute face or whatever. I crave the intensity of a fucked up trauma bond, the butterflies of first love energy that somehow never wear off, off-the-charts physical chemistry, the shared values of believing in the goodness of the world paired with a nothing-actually-matters existentialist undercurrent, sharing things that get us worked up in ways we will bust if we don't share and contemplating a wealth tax at the same time, kissing and kissing and more kissing, dressing up and dressing down, showing off and watching you show off, taking control and giving up control, being my good girl, my bad girl, and just my girl, long conversations and short ones, music taste that's on point and pointed shared humor, inside jokes and outside secret moments and memories and mementos until we don't know where either of us end and begin because in the mobius strip of affair land that's where it all clicks in before it clicks out and it all burns down. If you follow me.

I don't want to be a notch in yet another belt. Idealized and then discarded. Spare me. Just see me. And let me see you. I have a full life -- looking to augment, not replace it. Maybe I am looking for love, maybe I'm looking for Miss Right Now, I'm open to both. I'm looking for fantasy meets reality. A friend. A curious and insatiable lover. A banter specialist with a dark sense of humor. Someone introspective and passionate and kind with a wicked side. My gorgeous, brilliant contradiction. This isn't my first time, but for various reasons this is my next time, so back to the drawing board. This time with a little chip on my shoulder and thick armor on my chest. I'm asking you to remove it, slowly, carefully, meticulously.

Maybe you don't exist. Maybe you do. If you do and read this full on novel that some random internet guy typed into Reddit, why not say hi. ;)

No this isn't my first post, but I am the kind of annoyingly positive person I've decided I'll keep looking until... well just until I suppose.

We both love our spouses, they're still our best friends, they're great parents and we can't picture our lives without them in it, and we both have no intention of leaving. But there is a part that's been missing and is steadily growing too loud to ignore.

It's been far too long since you've felt truly desired. You can almost remember what it feels like to be the object of burning lust, to have someone who needs your body, needs to be inside of you, needs to touch, feel, and be with you. You can almost remember what it feels like to desire someone so badly it hurts, waiting for the minutes to tick by so you can see him, knowing you're going to devour him the moment you lay eyes on him. Almost. But those memories are fading and you don't want to forget them.

Looking around you aren't quite sure how it got to be like this.

If you're like me, you plan to be very picky. You're looking for someone extremely special because you know you're special too. You're not going to settle just to get off that one time, the risk is too big to go through with this unless we're getting what we truly want. We aren't fully satisfied at home, the last thing we need is to feel dissatisfied in an affair.

I don't want a one-night stand, I want a connection and for that there needs to be a foundation. There needs to be two people willing to put in a little time and effort to see whether that connection can be established. If you're willing to put in the effort to get to know me and let me get to know you it will be worth it. I'm worth spending the time to get to know and I won't settle for less. I do want the intense sexual connection and all the dirty and naughty fun that goes with it... but without the emotional base it would simply leave us feeling empty. We're not going to force a connection that isn't there, but we're also not going to put an artificial stop to whatever comes. The connection should build organically, whether that be quickly or slowly.

I promise you that you won't find me ugly. At the risk of sounding utterly self-absorbed and arrogant, I'm not an unattractive person. I take care of myself and it's important that you do as well. That doesn't mean I'm some fitness model looking for a fitness model, but actually caring about your body and health is important. I'm a bit above the kind of attractive line. I know the joke on here is that every man has a 12" dick and every woman is a lingerie model. That's not me, and that's not you, but our imperfections are what make us sexy. Physical attraction is important, there's no denying that, so I'm open to seeing one another early on so we don't waste time if I'm not your particular cup of tea. But if one of us isn't attracted to the other, we will act like adults and politely wish the other person luck on their search, and not pout like children (it's sad I have to say this but even as a man I've dealt with this).

I'm a guy who enjoys sports and going to the gym as much as I enjoy music, reading, and everything nerd. I've been called Fit 'N Nerdy in my life and I find that is a good descriptor as I will always proudly display my Full Frontal Nerdity. I won't pour every detail of myself into this post because finding those things out is part of the excitement. You are a woman who takes care of her body as much as her mind, you enjoy a man who is almost irritatingly positive, you understand that neither of us are available 24/7 but find a way to make time to message when we can. Those good morning texts, good night massages, or waking up in the middle of the night and sneaking away to send something because we're both so desperate to send that one extra message/picture/video.

Now that my novella is finished I hope I've piqued the interest of one or two of you ladies out there. If I have, I look forward to hearing from you, if not then I wish you luck in your search.

I'm a glass half full type, the type of man that is so positive it absolutely annoys some people to no end. Sarcasm is one of my love languages, the others being words of affirmation and physical touch (though I know that is kind of difficult given that this is the online space we currently inhabit). When you find your secret universe person, things fall into place. You are instantly on the same wavelength, laughing together and sharing everything. It is refreshing, and needed, after years of searching, yearning, craving.

I know this will sound cocky, but I'm going to say it anyway, I'm not bad looking. No, I am not a Greek God nor am I a fitness model with a 12 inch cock... to be honest I'm not even sure how that would work in every day life, but I'm not someone who will make you recoil in terror and rethink your life choices. And I know you're not a lingerie model with a body carved from stone. Neither of us are perfect, that our imperfections are what make us... us. And that's what I want, a woman I can lust over, and who will lust over me in equal measure. A woman who I can make wet with my words and my body, just as she can get my blood pumping both before and after I see her. I take care of myself and care about my appearance, and you do as well.

I want my swirling black hole to get entangled with. That connection that begins as friendly banter with a lot of laughter and equal communication. My equal that understands my situation and limitations but we still make time for each other. Someone who will send me pics throughout the day because they know I'll love that specific tree or flower or their cute face or whatever. I crave the intensity of a fucked up trauma bond, the butterflies of first love energy that somehow never wear off, off-the-charts physical chemistry, the shared values of believing in the goodness of the world paired with a nothing-actually-matters existentialist undercurrent, sharing things that get us worked up in ways we will bust if we don't share and contemplating a wealth tax at the same time, kissing and kissing and more kissing, dressing up and dressing down, showing off and watching you show off, taking control and giving up control, being my good girl, my bad girl, and just my girl, long conversations and short ones, music taste that's on point and pointed shared humor, inside jokes and outside secret moments and memories and mementos until we don't know where either of us end and begin because in the mobius strip of affair land that's where it all clicks in before it clicks out and it all burns down. If you follow me.

I don't want to be a notch in yet another belt. Idealized and then discarded. Spare me. Just see me. And let me see you. I have a full life -- looking to augment, not replace it. Maybe I am looking for love, maybe I'm looking for Miss Right Now, I'm open to both. I'm looking for fantasy meets reality. A friend. A curious and insatiable lover. A banter specialist with a dark sense of humor. Someone introspective and passionate and kind with a wicked side. My gorgeous, brilliant contradiction. This isn't my first time, but for various reasons this is my next time, so back to the drawing board. This time with a little chip on my shoulder and thick armor on my chest. I'm asking you to remove it, slowly, carefully, meticulously.

Maybe you don't exist. Maybe you do. If you do and read this full on novel that some random internet guy typed into Reddit, why not say hi. ;)

Some days I think what I want, what I am looking for, what I need, is unreasonable. Some overplayed and cliche fantasy. Something that just doesn't exist in real life, at least not for longer than a few hours, days. I want a connection with a woman who feels similar. Who sees how little time there is left and wants to feel something, to know what it's like to fall for someone with all we know now about who we are and what we want and need. Sharing our lives through videos, voice messages, photos, and texts. While I adore good mornings and good nights as much as the next man, and will absolutely be sending my share of them to the right person... I want you to tell me about the color of the sky on your morning walk. Your hopes and fears. Your coworkers with the sticks up their asses and friends that you love but also drive you nuts. The things that make you laugh and cry, or laugh 'til you cry. What perks you up, what turns you on, what melts your mind in that best possible way. Ask me questions and actually care about what I have to say and how my day went.

I want us to see each other, the real us. I don't want games. I don't want to be a notch in yet another belt. Idealized, enjoyed for what you want not what I truly am, and then discarded. Spare me that, spare both of us. Just see me. And let me see you. I have a full life -- looking to augment, not replace it. Maybe I am looking for love, I am definitely open to the possibility, but that's not the requirement to turn in your ticket for this ride. I'm looking for fantasy meets reality. A friend. A curious and insatiable lover. A banter specialist with a dark sense of humor who realizes that sarcasm is the most important second language we can learn. Someone introspective and passionate and kind with a wicked side. My gorgeous, brilliant contradiction. So I'm back here to the drawing board.

Me = a 44 year old who tries to take care of his mind as well as his body but isn't a step or two away from the cover of Mens Health. Who is self aware enough to say he's not unattractive, but also realizes he's not everyone's cup of tea. Who has a large nerdy/geeky side that's offset by his also very large physical/sporty side... leading to that oh so fun Fit 'N Nerdy contradiction. He's kind, nice, polite, but also knows exactly when to not be those things.

You = just you. Whoever you are, however you are. Is open to this being whatever it might be, a flame that burns hot and quick or that type of connection where all the feels grow from that first message. Who knows that attraction is important in a relationship like this and isn't afraid to exchange pictures relatively quickly to check that box. Who has the emotional bandwidth to actually get to know someone. Who wants to find that man who can help bring out the good girl AND bad girl inside of her. Who takes care of her body and brain as best as she can considering she has to adult every day as well.

Maybe you don't exist and I'll just be staring into the OA void yet again. But hey, maybe you do. If you do and read this, and any of my rambling of a novella has piqued your interest in the slightest, why not reach out and say hello.

I'm a glass half full type, the type of man that is so positive it absolutely annoys some people to no end. Sarcasm is one of my love languages, the others being words of affirmation and physical touch (though I know that is kind of difficult given that this is the online space we currently inhabit). When you find your secret universe person, things fall into place. You are instantly on the same wavelength, laughing together and sharing everything. It is refreshing, and needed, after years of searching, yearning, craving.

I know this will sound cocky, but I'm going to say it anyway, I'm not bad looking. No, I am not a Greek God nor am I a fitness model with a 12 inch cock... to be honest I'm not even sure how that would work in every day life, but I'm not someone who will make you recoil in terror and rethink your life choices. And I know you're not a lingerie model with a body carved from stone. Neither of us are perfect, that our imperfections are what make us... us. And that's what I want, a woman I can lust over, and who will lust over me in equal measure. A woman who I can make wet with my words and my body, just as she can get my blood pumping both before and after I see her. I take care of myself and care about my appearance, and you do as well.

I want my swirling black hole to get entangled with. That connection that begins as friendly banter with a lot of laughter and equal communication. My equal that understands my situation and limitations but we still make time for each other. Someone who will send me pics throughout the day because they know I'll love that specific tree or flower or their cute face or whatever. I crave the intensity of a fucked up trauma bond, the butterflies of first love energy that somehow never wear off, off-the-charts physical chemistry, the shared values of believing in the goodness of the world paired with a nothing-actually-matters existentialist undercurrent, sharing things that get us worked up in ways we will bust if we don't share and contemplating a wealth tax at the same time, kissing and kissing and more kissing, dressing up and dressing down, showing off and watching you show off, taking control and giving up control, being my good girl, my bad girl, and just my girl, long conversations and short ones, music taste that's on point and pointed shared humor, inside jokes and outside secret moments and memories and mementos until we don't know where either of us end and begin because in the mobius strip of affair land that's where it all clicks in before it clicks out and it all burns down. If you follow me.

I don't want to be a notch in yet another belt. Idealized and then discarded. Spare me. Just see me. And let me see you. I have a full life -- looking to augment, not replace it. Maybe I am looking for love, maybe I'm looking for Miss Right Now, I'm open to both. I'm looking for fantasy meets reality. A friend. A curious and insatiable lover. A banter specialist with a dark sense of humor. Someone introspective and passionate and kind with a wicked side. My gorgeous, brilliant contradiction. This isn't my first time, but for various reasons this is my next time, so back to the drawing board. This time with a little chip on my shoulder and thick armor on my chest. I'm asking you to remove it, slowly, carefully, meticulously.

Maybe you don't exist. Maybe you do. If you do and read this full on novel that some random internet guy typed into Reddit, why not say hi. ;)