u/Federal-Count8450

I feel like I'm such a chicken and not brave enough to actually disobey. So basically I did the task and I was supposed to report back that I did it. but just for the fun of it, I want to report back "hey I did not do it, what are you gonna do about it?". I tried so hard to actually not do the task so my words would be true at least. but noo, apparently I'm not brave enough to actually disobey. apparently I need the backup of "hey I was joking" in case things get out of control. haha. not sure what is wrong with me but I feel like this is spineless brattery. haha. Does anyone else do these kinds of bratty behaviors?

I hit a problem with degradation. I usually love long scenes or edgeplay and rather keep a scene going for a whole day. I believe I enjoy degradation but I think my body enjoys it too much and I come too quickly. (so quick that when I'm alone and need a quick release so I can get back to my work and life, I use degradation porn or story to just be done in minutes.) but I tried it in a scene with a person, not for masturbation, and again I came, I thought I can go for another one but I could not. I lost interest altogether and had to safeword to end the session. So I am not sure what's going on. do I not enjoy degradation? do i only enjoy it at the end and should not involve it in the process? because sounds like I don't enjoy it in the process at all and only want it in the last 5 or 6 minutes. or maybe I have done the "degradation masturbation => get back to work" a lot that now my body really wants to go back to work after it every time?

I'm just so confused how it is so powerful in making me come, but also so powerful in making me hate to continue after it.

at this point, if I see 5,10,15 "years experience as a dom" in people's bio I'm just gonna assume they have 10 years of experience being very shitty at the job. "experienced" doms and they crumble into pieces with the first interview. it's like applying to be a teacher and then claiming I have 10 years of experience because I taught my niece. mind you she never learned anything from me but I'm gonna count that as experience.

seriously just stop claiming you are experienced! I only talk with them for 30 minutes and they get exposed. you are just wasting our time. sure thirty minutes is not much but you still wasted it. what's wrong with a simple "I'm into bdsm" without pretending you have years of experience!?

I'm trying to learn more about kinks I was only curious about and I'm on bondage and rope this week. My intention is to see if I actually like them or not, because I don't want to create a false impressions of myself for people who actually enjoy them. I always said I am curious about bondage and rope play but now I'm very confused with the non-sexual aspect of them. The more I look and the more I read people's experiences it feels like it is more of an aesthetic and feeling, not an activity as part of a sexual scene? I have a question for people who enjoy it, is the end result and goal the final picture? or do you do sexual activities when you are tied? because in some of the positions I see there is really no way to do any sexual activity, like the rope blocks any part of the body that could be penetrated. haha.

It also seems to me it takes a long time to do some knots or some hanging positions, so what do you do when you are setting it up? just normal talk or dirty talk? if I understood everything correctly I think I would not enjoy this kink and it would become a boring task for me.

Am I alone in this? I am starting to think maybe I don't actually want partners and only get a hormonal boost that time of the month. maybe I should just enjoy the time with casual sex and stop letting myself believe that I actually want a relationship, maybe that is just my body wanting to make a family and babies and not actually what I want?