u/KushinaCutie

I feel like I blinked and suddenly everyone I know is either in a long-term relationship or married. Meanwhile I'm 22, just started my first real job in finance, and I have no idea how to meet people anymore.

In uni it was easy - same classes, same CCAs, mutual friends, hall events. Now I wake up at 6:30, commute to Raffles Place, work until 7 or 8 most nights, come home exhausted, repeat. My social circle has shrunk to my three closest girlfriends and my colleagues who are mostly older and married.

I've tried the apps (Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel) and honestly the quality has tanked. It's either guys looking for hookups or guys who seem decent but have zero conversation skills. I've been on maybe fifteen first dates in the past year and maybe three second dates. Zero thirds.

I've tried going to social events - a networking thing, a yoga class, even dragged myself to a friend's church group. Everyone seems to already know each other or be in couples. Approaching strangers in Singapore feels so awkward, like you're violating some unspoken rule about minding your own business.

Is this just how it is now? Do I need to accept that meeting someone organically is a myth and I just need to slog through the apps? Or are there actually places/events where single people in their early 20s congregate that I'm missing?

Would love to hear success stories of how people met their partners post-uni. Feeling like I'm going to be single forever at the ripe old age of 22 lol.

I know this is a cliché and morally questionable but I can't stop thinking about it so here we are.

The fantasy is always some variation of this: he's in his late 30s or early 40s, established, wears a wedding ring he doesn't bother hiding. We meet somewhere innocuous - a hotel bar, a conference, the gym at 6am when no one else is there. He's not creepy about it, not predatory. Just confident and slightly sad around the eyes in a way that makes me want to know why.

What gets me isn't the taboo of the affair itself. It's the way he would look at me. Like I'm this incredible creature he can't believe is real. Like he's been sleepwalking through his life and suddenly he's awake. He'd be so grateful, so attentive, so completely focused on making me feel worshipped because I'm giving him something he forgot existed.

In the fantasy he takes his time. Undresses me slowly like he's memorizing every detail. Tells me I'm beautiful in a way that sounds like he means it, not like he's reciting a script. When we actually do it he's desperate but controlled, like he's trying to make it last because he knows this can't happen again.

I think part of this is being 22 and feeling invisible in the working world - just another fresh grad in a sea of them. The idea of being chosen, being special enough to risk something for, being the exciting thing in someone's otherwise predictable life... it hits different.

Obviously I would never actually do this. I have morals and also I don't want to be destroyed by karma. But the fantasy persists.

Anyone else have this specific "meaningful affair with an older man" thing or should I just go to therapy lol

Okay this is so bad but I need to tell someone and obviously can't tell my friends here.

I've been going to this tuition center in Tampines since secondary school. The tutor is this strict auntie who's actually a really good teacher but terrifying. Her son - let's call him D - is 21, helps out sometimes with admin stuff, and I've had a crush on him since I was 16.

Nothing ever happened because I was underage and he obviously wasn't going there. But I turned 19 in March and suddenly he started acting different. More eye contact, finding excuses to be near me when I came for lessons, "accidentally" brushing against me when passing worksheets.

Last Saturday was my last lesson before prelims. His mom was teaching a different group in the living room, maybe six other students. D was supposed to be doing paperwork in the study but he kept coming into the kitchen where I was grabbing water. Third time he came in he just backed me against the fridge and kissed me. No warning. I was so shocked I just froze for a second then kissed back.

He whispered we had maybe twenty minutes before break time. We went into the study - which is literally right next to the living room where his mom was teaching - and he locked the door. I was so nervous I could hear my heartbeat but also so turned on I couldn't think straight. He bent me over the desk, pulled my skirt up and my panties down, and went in raw. I had to bite his hand to keep from making noise because the walls are paper thin.

He finished inside me which I know was stupid but in the moment I didn't care. I could feel it dripping out while I was sitting through the rest of lesson. Had to keep my legs crossed the whole MRT ride home.

We've been texting since. He wants to meet up properly but I'm terrified of getting caught. His mom knows my parents. If this gets out I'm actually dead.

But also... I can't stop thinking about doing it again. The risk makes it hotter which I know is messed up but here we are.

AMA I guess? Or just judge me lol I deserve it.

I need to get this off my chest because I can't tell anyone in real life without destroying my friend group.

My ex and I dated for eight months. He was my first everything - first love, first time, first heartbreak when I found out he'd been talking to another girl the entire last month of our relationship. I was devastated, cried for weeks, the whole dramatic thing.

His best friend - let's call him M - was the one who actually told me. He saw the messages on my ex's phone when they were out drinking and felt guilty keeping it from me. We started talking more after the breakup, just as friends, and he was surprisingly sweet about the whole thing. Listened to me vent, validated my feelings, told me my ex was an idiot.

Fast forward three months. My ex starts posting pictures with his new girlfriend - the same girl he was talking to while we were together. I saw red. M texted me that night saying "you okay?" and I invited him over. I told myself it was just to talk, but I knew exactly what I was doing. I wanted my ex to find out. I wanted him to hurt like I hurt.

When M arrived I didn't even pretend. I kissed him within five minutes of him walking through the door. He hesitated at first, asked if I was sure, and I pulled him into my bedroom. The sex was... fine. He was gentle, almost too gentle, like he was worried I'd break. All I could think about was whether my ex would be angry, whether he'd care, whether this would make him regret losing me.

M left at 3am and texted me the next day saying he hoped I was doing okay. I haven't replied. It's been a week. I feel disgusting, not because we hooked up but because of why I did it. He was genuinely kind to me and I used him like a weapon. My ex doesn't even know yet and honestly I don't think he'd care if he did.

I don't know what I'm looking for here. Just needed to confess to someone I guess.

Okay so I've been trying to be more proactive about meeting people instead of just waiting around on dating apps. I've gone to Zouk and Marquee a few times with my girlfriends and I've tried approaching guys I think are cute, but the results have been... confusing.

What I usually do: make eye contact first, if he holds it I'll walk over and say something like "hey I like your shirt" or comment on the music. Simple, low-pressure opener. Sometimes they seem surprised and give short answers, sometimes they look at me like I'm trying to sell them something, and occasionally they're friendly but the conversation dies after two minutes of polite small talk.

Here's what's weird: my guy friends say girls never approach them and they'd love if it happened more. But when I actually do it, the reception is lukewarm at best. Am I picking the wrong targets? Is there something about the approach itself that I'm missing? Or is Singapore's club scene just not conducive to this?

Also side note: I'm not model-hot but I'm decent looking, dress well, and I'm genuinely trying to have fun conversations, not just hunt for a hookup. Maybe that's the problem - maybe guys at clubs are only looking for one thing and I'm giving off "girlfriend material" vibes which scares them off?

Would love thoughts from guys who've been approached and what made it work or flop. Also open to suggestions on better venues in Singapore for actually meeting people - clubs feel like shouting into the void.

I keep coming back to this one fantasy and I need to know if I'm alone in this specific scenario. It always starts somewhere public but anonymous, like a crowded club in Bangkok, or a dark cinema, or a late-night MRT where everyone's half-asleep. I don't know him, we've never spoken, I can't even really see his face clearly. He just knows exactly what I want without me having to say anything, no awkward small talk, no fumbling, no "what do you like?" He reads my body language perfectly, knowing when I want rougher, when I want slower, when I want to be teased versus when I need him to just take me. It's like he has a direct line to my nervous system.

The part that really gets me is the complete surrender of having to communicate verbally. In real life I'm so in my head during sex, worrying if I'm taking too long, if he likes what I'm doing, if I should moan more or less. In this fantasy, none of that exists. He just knows and I get to completely shut off my brain and just feel. We never exchange names, maybe we don't even speak at all, just eye contact that lasts too long, him making the first move with total confidence, and then him leaving me breathless and walking away while I'm still recovering. I know realistically this would be dangerous and impossible since consent requires communication, but the idea of being understood that completely by someone who doesn't even know my name gets me every time. Anyone else have this specific "mind-reader stranger" thing or am I just weirdly into psychic sex?

Hey everyone, long-time lurker here finally posting. I'm a 19-year-old girl from Singapore and I've been trying to put myself out there more, but I'm struggling with the balance between showing interest and not seeming desperate or too forward.

Context: There's this guy in my uni cohort who I see at mutual friends' gatherings. We've talked a few times, he's funny and seems genuinely kind (rare combo here tbh). I want to get to know him better but I'm terrified of being the girl who's "too obvious" or making things awkward in our friend group if he's not interested.

What I've tried:

• Making eye contact and smiling when we talk (he smiles back but he's also just a friendly person in general)
• Asking questions about himself and remembering details
• Positioning myself near him in group settings

The problem: In Singapore's dating culture, guys are expected to make the first move, but honestly a lot of the guys here are either super shy or way too aggressive on apps. The middle ground of confident, respectful interest seems rare. I don't want to wait around hoping he notices me, but I also don't want to be the one doing all the heavy lifting if he's not reciprocating.

My question: What are subtle but clear ways to show genuine interest that would make a guy feel comfortable escalating? Or should I just be direct and ask him out for coffee? I'm worried that being direct might scare off a more traditional/reserved guy, but playing it too cool hasn't been working either.

Would love perspectives from both guys and women here. Thanks in advance!

Okay this is embarrassing and I know it's weird but I need to get it out of my head and maybe writing it down will help? Also curious if anyone else has fantasies about things that would be absolutely TERRIFYING in real life.

So I'm 19, Singaporean Chinese, living at home with my parents who are super traditional and strict. My dad has this golf buddy - let's call him Mr. Lim. He's in his late 40s, divorced, always at our house for dinner or watching soccer. My parents trust him completely. He's known me since I was like 10.

The fantasy: I'm home alone (rare, but happens when parents travel). Mr. Lim stops by to drop something off for my dad. I'm in my room, supposed to be studying, but I'm actually... you know. Headphones in, didn't hear the door. He walks in to say hi and catches me.

Instead of being horrified and leaving, he just stands there. I'm frozen, mortified, but also weirdly turned on by being seen. He doesn't say anything, just watches me with this intense look. Then he walks over, takes my hand away, and finishes me himself. All while telling me what a bad girl I am, how my parents would be so ashamed, how I need to be taught a lesson.

In the fantasy he never actually does anything TO me beyond that - it's all about the power dynamic, the taboo of it, the fact that he's my dad's friend and double my age. The shame and the pleasure mixing together.

I would NEVER actually want this to happen. Mr. Lim is nice but definitely not attractive to me in real life, and the age gap is gross if I actually think about it. But as a fantasy? It gets me there every time.

I think it's because my parents are so controlling about my body and my sexuality - no dating, no revealing clothes, home by 10pm, "focus on your studies." So my brain takes that and twists it into something forbidden and dirty.

Is this normal? Do other people have fantasies about things they'd never actually want in real life? Especially other Asian girls with strict parents? I feel like I'm broken or something.

Please be kind, I'm new to exploring all this 💕

I don't usually sleep over. That's not a rule we have or anything, it is just what tends to happen with me and him. But it was late last night, and I was comfortable and my FWB Devon didn't say anything about it, so I fell asleep on my stomach on his side of the bed while he was still watching something on his phone.

I woke up to his hands.

He'd moved my underwear to the side and had two fingers inside me before I was fully awake, which I know because my first coherent thought that I remember was "oh, that's what's happening". I was already wet. We had talked about this before. I told him about my fantasy of being fucked while I was asleep and we agreed that he could try it.

I didn't say anything for a moment. I just lay there and let him finger me. There's something about my being half asleep with his fingers inside me that instantly got me hornier than I usually get in such a short time.

Then he pushed his cock inside me and I made a soft moaning noise into the pillow.

He fucked me like that, slow at first, both of us laying on our sides. His hand was holding on to my hip, not hard, just resting there keeping me in place. He said nothing during it. He almost never talks during sex, which I've come to find I actually like. He is intense yet quiet at the same time. Some guys narrate too much and it kinda takes me out of it. Dev is just present, just doing what he's doing, and somehow that's more intense and connecting than anything he could say.

I came once with his hand helping by rubbing my clit. He finished inside of me like he always does not long after. Then he stayed inside me for a few minutes. Just cuddling me. When he pulled out and rolled onto his back I felt his cum start to drip out of my pussy and I reached down to feel it. I was messy.

"Good morning," I said, even though it was still dark outside. It was a joke.

He didn't say anything to me still. He handed me a glass of water off the nightstand and gave me a quick kiss. "Good night" he finally said before laying down to go to sleep.

I ended up playing with the cum he had left in my pussy for the next few minutes until I had a soft and gentle orgasm. The feeling of his cum making a mess inside of me and on my fingers as I touched myself made it easy. I just kept thinking about how I had just been sleeping, and then I was getting fucked. It was crazy to think about.

I stayed awake for a while just thinking about it. Definitely an item to cross off the bucket list.

I swiped on a younger man on Tinder and hit it off very well. We arranged for a date and went out for some drinks. We had a good time and offered to drop me off back at home.

A couple minutes later we ended up pulling into an alleyway and surprised me by saying “okay, ready to pay back your dinner slut? I know you want it.” It took me for a little surprise but it honestly turned me on. He told me to take off my top and I did. He complimented me saying “Damn, those tits are nice” and he started unbuckling his pants and revealed his 7 inch hard cock. “Start sucking it bitch”

“Yes sir” I replied and went down on him slowly working my way down his shaft. After a minute or so, he grabbed the back of my head “I’m gonna show you how I really like it slut, relax your jaw” I complied and he started thrusting his cock down my throat. It felt so good, and I was getting so wet.

At one point he held my head down and I started gagging and choking, it was so damn hot. He would say stuff like “That’s a good girl, take it”

A little bit after that, he pulled my head up and slapped his dick on my face, and said “I’m gonna nut in that slutty throat of yours bitch” He grabbed my head again and started face fucking me even harder. He held my head down and immediately released his load inside my mouth and groaned loudly.

“Good girl” he said, I opened my mouth to show him and swallowed. After that, he drove me home, but wouldn’t let me put my top back on until we were in my driveway. Overall, it was fantastic, and looking forward to seeing him again haha