u/Long_Explanation_289

Long story short, my wife and I have escalated a lot over the past couple years. It all started with a dildo. i was curious how she would respond to more size, so we tried one and the results broke my heart a little bit. She reacted completely differently and had her first ever PIV orgasm. but I also couldnt stop thinking about it.

this escalated my kink. But, she didn’t know about it for a long time. I kept it secret for a lot of the same reasons most men do. But the desire built and built.

i told her about it, and she hated it. didn’t understand it. but she started to get my perspective, and that it was about her pleasure and how that turns me on. We watched a lot of porn. She started to make comments. The biggest escalation was her posting pictures to Reddit. she was flooded with attention and was able to weed through responses and find some guys that fit the bill. she’s become addicted to messaging them, sending pictures, etc. all of a sudden she is talking about it more than i am.

I am still turned on by it.but some days less so. feel the angst everyone talks about. the questions. but my wife, she is addicted to the attention. she loves reading the comments about her body and she is less and less shy about admitting her desire to get fucked by a bigger cock. She used to be so shy and innocent and now she admits that the curiosity drives her crazy since she’s only been with me.

have I opened Pandora’s box? do I need to accept my fate? What are the best next steps? it is intoxicating and hot to see how much she enjoys messaging and talking to other guys, but it does make me jealous too. she has talked about making some of these connections actual by traveling and meeting up and it makes me nervous! FYI we share an account and she will read this and the comments

my wife and I have been taking small steps over the past year or so. as much as I’ve wanted to speed things up at certain points, I’m now very thankful that we have gone at a slow pace. up to this point the most we’ve done is she has posted pictures and had online play with other guys.

I find myself going back and forth on how hot I find this all. like recently it’s been a bit of a rut for me. then, the next week all of the intensity will come back. my wife has been enjoying this a lot after initially being a reluctant participant but was obsessed with it especially a few weeks back, but she has her own back and forth.

I find that after each new milestone, I find myself feeling a little weird when the PNC hits. hell, i felt a little strange the first time I used a dildo on her. but now it’s totally normalized and doesn’t feel unusual at all. same with the bigger steps my wife has taken. we are trying to intentionally go a step at a time and communicate thoroughly. her and I share this account and have done a lot of reading and messaging with people in similar positions.

most recently when she was messaging this other guy, when I had PNC, something obvious dawned on me. non-monogamy can and does break up relationships. in my clarity I suddenly wondered whether any of this was worth it. no excitement is worth the end of the relationship. I feel like I can handle the jealousy ok (and I have been jealous!)

she is/was really interested in one of the guys she was talking to, sending pics shes never sent me, said she wanted to do certain things she doesn’t do with me etc.) So it was a real ping of jealousy, that I was able to work through. but, the back and forth is brutal. some mornings i wake up and wonder wtf happened last night! and my wife is the same way. we keep questioning whether the risks are worth making this actual, when roleplay/online play might scratch the itch enough without actually introducing risk?

I know this is a ramble at this point but would love to hear thoughts or discussion on this back and forth dynamic and if it means that making this real is a bad idea. I feel bad for my wife in a sense, because I feel like I’ve hyped it so much and showed her how hot it can be but then second thoughts will creep in.

Life has been a whirlwind the past year or so. When I (32M) first introduced this kink to my wife (31F), like so many others on here, she responded very negatively. All of the typical objections. I, of course, tried to let it go even though it was hard.

But then, we had a steady progression of new things happen. Each one of these was intense, new ground as we did it.

- Introduced a bigger dildo and gave her her first penetrative orgasm

- Started watching porn, especially of the Hotwife/cheating/etc genre

-Started posting her pictures on here

This steadily happened over the course of about a year as I said. And typically, the pattern for us both was 1. intense pleasure and 2. a “crash out” of sorts post-nut where we had to grapple with everything new. It’s important to note that the dildo play and porn steadily became incorporated with dirty talk: about how she wanted a bigger cock, about how she wanted to get fucked like the clips we were watching, etc.

However, things suddenly feel real in a way they didn’t before. Of course, one component of posting pictures to Reddit is getting a lot of DMs. 90ish percent of these are filled with creeps or catfish. Also, please no more DMs reaching out - she is at full bandwidth already lol. But, the few legit, quality “candidates“ who were able to verify being real etc., my wife started having spicy conversations with some.

However, one guy in particular caught her eye, not from a DM, but from a posting on another sub. We messaged and he quickly verified himself and she did the same. The guy is her complete package, and was comfortable showing his face (because he does this a lot.) She is intensely attracted to him, has said he is basically her type to a tee, and said that if she was single was the type of guy she would go for immediately.

Well, they’ve been talking. a lot. and I’ve enjoyed watching their exchanges. She’s sent so many pictures, and absolutely lights up every time she gets a message from him. The guy lives decently far from us, but in an area we are consistently in because part of our family lives there. Right now, my wife says there is a “30% chance” of it happening.

But, the best part has been us connected and talking through what the encounter might look like while we both masturbate. The things she is saying.. wow. She is saying she wants to be creampied, she wants his cum on her face, etc. A bunch of things she never does for me. she is shy to talk about this stuff in real life, but I pushed her and told her to “stress test“ me. in other words, be really upfront early so I can know if this is really what I want as of course this type of things comes with some back and forth.

She stress tested me. I asked her why it took so long for us to sleep together, why she wants to do things with him and not with me, etc. And she was shy at first, but eventually said it was simply because he is really hot, and he has a big cock. And in the videos on his Redgif account, he has clips of him with other hotwives. I asked her I I have ever fucked her that good, and she straight up told me no. No specific dates have been planned, but we are working through logistics.

Since this is a first time, we are working through things like safety, how I’ll be involved (I won’t be there, so FaceTime or phone call) and all of that good stuff. She said it’s still more likely than not she wouldn’t do it, but the more she chats with him and the more dominance he exudes in his chats with her, the more I feel like she’s made up her mind that she wants this. She said the fact that he’s been with so many women turns her on and makes her want him more, which Id be curious to understand the psychology of.

Of course, my mind is a fucking ROLLER COASTER of emotions. The first few minutes after I bust, I’m always questioning the hell out of all of this. None of this would have came up if I never brought it up. We could have been in a simple, closed, risk free marriage for the rest of our lives. But the highs, the pleasures.. I’m chasing them for better or worse.

let me know any advice or questions you may have..

I’ve (husband) had this kink for like 2-3 years now. When I introduced it to my wife, she was taken aback and not interested. Many of the typical hesitations, like “you’re doing this to sleep with another woman” and “why aren’t you more possessive of me.” However, through porn and roleplay, and most recently posting pictures on Reddit and chatting with some potential bulls/thirds, things have suddenly felt “real.”

To some extent, I have always felt like this *wasnt* going to happen. After all, I kept it internal for so many years, her reaction was negative initially, etc. Not to mention the big logistical hurdles. However, recently things have intensified because of my wife seeing the interest she is getting. Her and I share this account, and she has loved posting pictures to see the reactions and despite being beautiful and sexy, has been surprised by just how much attention she has gotten. Some of the guys who have responded, including ones who are verified/legit (so many fakes here, after all) are her “type” so to speak and she’s shifted her perspective from “This will never happen in real life” to “maybe,” but we’ve both become addicted to talking and thinking about it.

Which is great, right? This is what I wanted. Yet, as things have become more real, so have the questions we’ve had to ask ourselves. The post-nut clarity has been hitting like a truck, but dissipating over time. The first time I used a big dildo on her, PNC was brutal but now it’s totally normalized. same with every other small step we’ve taken. I feel for people who “jump in” the deep too quickly, can’t imagine that feeling.

Anyway, I think I can live with the jealousy and intenseness of the feelings, and after all, my feelings pre-nut are not less valid than those post-nut. yet, I can’t shake the worry that we are simply down a rabbit hole of a lifestyle that just doesn’t work. any normie or non-kink subreddit or online community tends to frame non-monogamy as the beginning of the end, and that’s the one thing I can’t roll the dice on. My wife and our relationship are more important than any kink etc. But, weve enjoyed such highs with this already and haven’t even actually done anything. so I don’t want to be over-cautious either. we’ve talked a lot but it does feel like until something happens you can’t predict the effect of the genie being out of the bottle.

TLDR: is this actually worth it? does it really doom relationships? or is better as a fantasy?

Hi all,

My wife and I have been exploring the Hotwife fantasy. She is wanting to chat, and maybe more, with those with some level of experience in this type of thing. Our age preferably but 25+ at least. She has only been with me before, so some of this is new to her.

Looking for good conversation, not immediate sex talk though it could certainly happen. We are deliberating whether we want this to happen “for real” and these conversations are helping us see whether it’s the right path for us. Thanks in advance and talk to you soon!