u/Pleasant_Pie_3898

I'm completely aware of how toxic he is and I hate myself for wanting him. I can't seem to shake him off or give myself a chance to invest in someone else, nor give myself the time off as I'm in constant need for a dom and to be in that feel of being a sub.

I met him online, we talked and I instantly liked how he approached me and his mindset as a dominant. we had a little call/session but got interrupted and ended the call, and he didn't text me after nor responded to me. a couple days I texted him again and he responded saying he's no longer interested because I didn't want to share pics which I was clear about from the very beginning. said he couldn't have a dynamic with no pics.

I'm not sure what drew me to him with this intensity, but after that short call/session, he was all I think about. so a few days pass and I express to him how I miss him and want it to work. we talked and he made it clear he needed the pics and we stopped talking. later on, he texted me saying that I cross his mind, we talked a bit and stopped.

after that it was always me who reached out to him. and we talked about the pics situation, I explained why I don't share and he explained why he needs them and so on and try to convince me to try and such. which I eventually caved in and did decide to try.

we started talking regularly and have light sessions, where I share pics. till he had a family thing ig and couldn't text me for a week, which I hated cause I can't comprehend that someone is that busy to not be able to send more than 2 texts for a whole week. we ended it. some time pass I text him again and we talk, end it cause of how inconsistent and dismissive he is with me. and this happened again 2 times, so we reconciled 5 times overall.

till the last interaction that was like 3 weeks ago or so. I needed him so i called and he replied with frustration cause I would end it and reach out to him again. we talked a bit to which I concluded and expressed that to him that he will only see things from his side and not mine, he will forever dismiss me and not care about the things I want. and I told him that I'll try my best not to contact him again which made him a bit mad I think. and we didn't text at all after the call.

then the next day I called, and he answered to which we talked about how to improve and he'll try to give me more of his time and so on till it lead to a session. he demanded a lot of pics/vids this time way more than normal which I obliged cause I naively believed he would try to be better with me. and this was the only session he gave me permission to cum.

we ended the call with no aftercare. he just said that he'll be busy the 2 next days and goodnight. and through those 2 days he only texted once saying that he had a busy day. I tried texting him but no response. I blocked him and deleted my acc.

this last interaction left me with very bad feelings. I felt used, abused, and alone with self hatred and blame as to how I allow such thing to happen to me. yet after all of this, I still feel that intense need for him. for some odd reason he's all I think about and want. which makes me hate myself even more for needing an asshole like him.

thank you for reading all that I'm aware it's very long, but I just needed to pour my heart out. I can't really share any of this to my close friends. I need to move on and forget him. but I feel like it's hard since he was like the only dom who satisfied what I crave, that submissive feel I desired to be in. I feel like he knew and understood what I need as a submissive.

I don't know what to do and how, this is frustrating and awful to feel. with just immense self hatred.

Im 23f sub with slave tendencies. and I'm in need of a mature, stern, masculine dom to control me and order me around (longterm). I need both mental and physical domination, as in just talking to you, I would naturally obey and be your sub. My timezone is utc+2, would prefer my dom to have a similar timezone because im needy, and i like having my doms attention throughout the day. I need a dom man aged [26-36] who can lead and manage me.

I'm a post grad student, unemployed. we can discuss further interests when we talk. but my main focus right now isn't vanilla interest, I need to know if we're compatible as a d/s or not, to not waste anyone's time. so let me know what your rules are.

physical description.

I'm tall and a bit chubby, 170cm, 83kgs. fair skin. I have more ass than boobs, cup size depends on brand I wore both a B and a C cup. i have a bit of a tummy and love handles. my lower body is wider than my upper.

I'm a submissive, the way I talk and act, a sub, this is me, sexual and non sexual me. and I crave the feeling and want it. I lean towards gentle, stern doms who are also naturally a dom. and please don't contact me if that's not in your nature cause I'll sense it. I know what I want and don't want.

I'm heavily audiotary, and I need to be attracted to how you sound like. I like doms who have a strong fit physique, as i want a mutual physical attraction. will be comfortable sharing faceless pics when I get a sense of you.

I like pain (within limits), structure, submissive positions, rules, to be controlled and ordered, tasks, TPE. Spanks, choking, bites, nipple play, and a lot more I've done. play and experiment with me, see how I respond to your style.

limits: anal, hard face slaps, bathroom play, cnc, obejectification, dumbification, ddlg, permanent damage, and blood.

I don't find outfit, diet control convenient in a virtual dynamic.

not a huge fan of denial and ruined orgasms (it's not a limit, just a dislike)

please share more about you. tell me what type of dom you are and how you do things. I don't want to alter your ways to accord me, I don't see that as a dom/sub dynamic.

Im 23f sub with slave tendencies. and I'm in need of a mature, stern, masculine dom to control me and order me around (longterm). I need both mental and physical domination, as in just talking to you, I would naturally obey and be your sub. My timezone is utc+2, would prefer my dom to have a similar timezone because im needy, and i like having my doms attention throughout the day. I need a dom man aged [26-36] who can lead and manage me.

I'm a post grad student, unemployed. we can discuss further interests when we talk. but my main focus right now isn't vanilla interest, I need to know if we're compatible as a d/s or not, to not waste anyone's time. so let me know what your rules are.

physical description.

I'm tall and a bit chubby, 170cm, 83kgs. fair skin. I have more ass than boobs, cup size depends on brand I wore both a B and a C cup. i have a bit of a tummy and love handles. my lower body is wider than my upper.

I'm a submissive, the way I talk and act, a sub, this is me, sexual and non sexual me. and I crave the feeling and want it. I lean towards gentle, stern doms who are also naturally a dom. and please don't contact me if that's not in your nature cause I'll sense it. I know what I want and don't want.

I'm heavily audiotary, and I need to be attracted to how you sound like. I like doms who have a strong fit physique, as i want a mutual physical attraction. will be comfortable sharing faceless pics when I get a sense of you.

I like pain (within limits), structure, submissive positions, rules, to be controlled and ordered, tasks, TPE. Spanks, choking, bites, nipple play, and a lot more I've done. play and experiment with me, see how I respond to your style.

limits: anal, hard face slaps, bathroom play, cnc, obejectification, dumbification, ddlg, permanent damage, and blood.

I don't find outfit, diet control convenient in a virtual dynamic.

not a huge fan of denial and ruined orgasms (it's not a limit, just a dislike)

please share more about you. tell me what type of dom you are and how you do things. I don't want to alter your ways to accord me, I don't see that as a dom/sub dynamic.

Im 23f sub with slave tendencies. and I'm in need of a mature, stern, masculine dom to control me and order me around (longterm). I need both mental and physical domination, as in just talking to you, I would naturally obey and be your sub. My timezone is utc+2, would prefer my dom to have a similar timezone because im needy, and i like having my doms attention throughout the day. I need a dom man aged [26-36] who can lead and manage me.

I'm a post grad student, unemployed. we can discuss further interests when we talk. but my main focus right now isn't vanilla interest, I need to know if we're compatible as a d/s or not, to not waste anyone's time. so let me know what your rules are.

physical description.

I'm tall and a bit chubby, 170cm, 83kgs. fair skin. I have more ass than boobs, cup size depends on brand I wore both a B and a C cup. i have a bit of a tummy and love handles. my lower body is wider than my upper.

I'm a submissive, the way I talk and act, a sub, this is me, sexual and non sexual me. and I crave the feeling and want it. I lean towards gentle, stern doms who are also naturally a dom. and please don't contact me if that's not in your nature cause I'll sense it. I know what I want and don't want.

I'm heavily audiotary, and I need to be attracted to how you sound like. I like doms who have a strong fit physique, as i want a mutual physical attraction. will be comfortable sharing faceless pics when I get a sense of you.

I like pain (within limits), structure, submissive positions, rules, to be controlled and ordered, tasks, TPE. Spanks, choking, bites, nipple play, and a lot more I've done. play and experiment with me, see how I respond to your style.

limits: anal, hard face slaps, bathroom play, cnc, obejectification, dumbification, ddlg, permanent damage, and blood.

I don't find outfit, diet control convenient in a virtual dynamic.

not a huge fan of denial and ruined orgasms (it's not a limit, just a dislike)

please share more about you. tell me what type of dom you are and how you do things. I don't want to alter your ways to accord me, I don't see that as a dom/sub dynamic.

Im 22f sub, i need a mature, stern, structured dom to control me and order me around (longterm). I need both mental and physical domination, as in just talking to you, I would naturally obey and be your sub. My timezone is utc+2, would prefer my dom to have a similar timezone because im needy, and i like having my doms attention throughout the day. I need a dom man aged [26-36] who can lead and manage me.

I'm a post grad student, unemployed. we can discuss further interests when we talk. but my main focus right now isn't vanilla interest, I need to know if we're compatible as a d/s or not, to not waste anyone's time. so let me know what your rules are.

physical description.

I'm tall and a bit chubby, 170cm, 83kgs. fair skin. I have more ass than boobs, cup size depends on brand I wore both a B and a C cup. i have a bit of a tummy and love handles. my lower body is wider than my upper.

I'm a submissive, the way I talk and act, a sub, this is me, sexual and non sexual me. and I crave the feeling and want it. I lean towards gentle, stern doms who are also naturally a dom. and please don't contact me if that's not in your nature cause I'll sense it. I know what I want and don't want.

I'm heavily audiotary, and I need to be attracted to how you sound like. I like doms who have a strong fit physique, as i want a mutual physical attraction. will be comfortable sharing faceless pics when I get a sense of you.

I like pain (within limits), structure, submissive positions, rules, to be controlled and ordered, tasks, TPE. Spanks, choking, bites, nipple play, and a lot more I've done. play and experiment with me, see how I respond to your style.

limits: anal, hard face slaps, bathroom play, cnc, obejectification, dumbification, ddlg, permanent damage, and blood. I don't find outfit, diet control convenient in a virtual dynamic. not a huge fan of denial and ruined orgasms.

please share more about you. tell me what type of dom you are and how you do things. I don't want to alter your ways to accord me, I don't see that as a dom/sub dynamic.

This post is long, so please take your time.

Im 22f sub, i need a mature, stern, structured dom to control me and order me around (longterm). I need both mental and physical domination, as in just talking to you, I would naturally be your sub. My timezone is utc+2, would prefer my dom to have a similar timezone because im needy, and i like having my doms attention throughout the day. I need a dom man aged [26-36] who can jlead and manage me.

I'm a post grad student, unemployed. we can discuss further interests when we talk. but my main focus right now isn't vanilla interest, I need to know if we're compatible as a d/s or not, to not waste anyone's time. so let me know what your rules are.

physical description.

I'm tall and a bit chubby, 170cm, 83kgs. fair skin. I have more ass than boobs, cup size depends on brand I wore both a B and a C cup. i have a bit of a tummy and love handles. my lower body is wider than my upper.

I'm a submissive, the way I talk and act, a sub, this is me, sexual and non sexual me. and I crave the feeling and want it. I lean towards gentle, stern doms who are also naturally a dom. not domination through aggression. and please don't contact me if that's not in your nature cause I'll sense it. I know what I want and don't want.

I'm heavily audiotary, and I need to be attracted to how you sound like. I like doms who have a strong fit physique, as i want a mutual physical attraction. will be comfortable sharing faceless pics when I get a sense of you.

I like pain (within limits), structure, submissive positions, rules, to be controlled and ordered, tasks, TPE. Spanks, choking, bites, nipple play, and a lot more I've done. play and experiment with me, see how I respond to your style.

limits: anal, hard face slaps, bathroom play, cnc, obejectification, dumbification, ddlg, permanent damage, and blood. I don't find outfit, diet control convenient in a virtual dynamic. not a huge fan of denial and ruined orgasms.

please share more about you. tell me what type of dom you are and how you do things. I don't want to alter your ways to accord me, I don't see that as a dom/sub dynamic.